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Raven1976
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Trig Aug 28, 2024 at 04:25 PM
  #1
**** Trigger Warning- explicit talk of sexual abuse****

I had two memories. One of a flash of oral sex being performed on me and an immediate sense it was my father but I could only see the face of course from the nose up so wasn’t able to really see who it was. But I know it was me it was being performed on. I had been thinking the day before or earlier in the day about the oral sex my ex used to perform on me and this popped up. Then a couple of days later I had another memory where I saw his face and I could tell he was near someone’s privates but what is was doing exactly or if it was me I couldn’t tell because I can’t remember if the memory was in first person. I don’t know what’s reasonable to feel or assume. What would you gather from these memories?
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Default Aug 28, 2024 at 09:28 PM
  #2
@Raven1976 I am sorry if you feel you endured abuse. That must be rough. No one should have to experience that.

If you have a therapist that specializes in surviving abuse, that is the kind of question they may be able to answer. All I can say is just the fact that youi have these images in your mind says that something you experienced was traumatic.

Some memories I have seem real but they are memories of dreams I had. They did represent feelings of having experienced that in real life but at a certain point I remembered they were something I dreamt. That does not mean nothing happened but jumping to the conclusion that a particular person did something to me is not wise. Your experience is rvalid but whether it is a dream or an actual experience and when it happened and with whom seems to be unclear.

What seems clear is something you experienced and or feared made a strong image in your mind. The experience with your ex and oral sex could have been traumatic.

I think it is great to participate in support forums like MSF, but with deep seated traumas it may require professional help to wortk through it.

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