Coping methods

Hi all. I am new here. In my therapy sessions, I have started talking about the sexual abuse by my older brother. Since then I have had increased nightmares about the abuse. My usual coping methods are to try to bury the pain by overeating but even that doesn't seem to be helping. After my last therapy session, I started having these weird thoughts about cutting myself. i pictured myself going into the kitchen, getting a steak knife and and making a cut on my wrist, just to feel the sting and see the blood run. I have never done that OR even thought about it. These thoughts lasted about 2 days and have been gone for a week now. Any thoughts?

Hi music, and welcome. Coping has been a major theme for me lately. I understand wanting to cut yourself, because that's one that I have used. The problem with it is that it doesn't help in the long run. It hurts you again and makes things worse, and takes you further away from healing. I know it's hard to get through the pain of the moment though, and when one coping method isn't working, or becomes inaccessible, or you decide not to do it, we tend to pick up another one. Sometimes what really would help is to sit through the pain until you know that you can make it through, although I know that is really hard. Maybe we could make a list of some positive coping methods and you could choose what you think might help you in the long run and be worth trying.

I'll start it off, and maybe you can add to the list.

Write about your feelings.
Listen to music.
Read.

If you look in the self-injury forum, there is a list pinned to the top of the forum of things to do instead of SI. If you feel safe enough to go and look at that list, you might find some ideas there too. I hope you don't try cutting. It's really hard to stop, and in the long run, it doesn't help.

I'm going to add a trigger icon to this post because of the discussion of self injury, ok?

TC,
Rap

yeah, if you haven't started self injury yet - DON'T! That is the best thing. Find other ways. I was where you are at... and it took me a while, but i crossed that boundary. and now it is an addiction and i haven't been able to cross back in 4 years. Walk away from it, focus on something else. journal, draw, tear paper. go for a walk. Do anything else.... anything that leaves your body in peace.
kiya

once you start it's really hard to stop... it does help... but the shame, guilt and fear of exposure is vicious...lyn

I agree with the others. as a self injurer it starts as a coping mechanism - stay as a coping mechanism but then somewhere in between it also becomes addicting imho.

Try anything. exercise. run, jog, draw, write. just dont do it!!!! and come here for help.

colleen

*grin* - just as long as it doesn't push you, trigger you, or encourage you to start cutting. sometimes you just gotta walk away. sometimes too much knowledge can hurt you.

do what you need to to stay safe and keep your body safe.
best wishes!!
kiya

@kiya, and i apologize for hijacking this post.

How are YOU??? my little friend who helps everybody on this board and then some????

'-)

Colleen

*grin* I do better focusing on others... it's when i focus on me that things go downhill =)

Thanks for all the postings in response to my post. I am new here and it is nice to know that there is this support system here and that we can help each other.

Kathy

Blow up some balloons and then pop them?

Arghhh- popping balloons!!! That must be the worst thing about being a single parent- no-one to delegate balloon blowing-up too when it's the kids birthdays !!

Seriously though ditto for what everyone else has said...please take care of yourself and don't SI. My main coping mechanism is to blank out all thoughts; kinda put them into an imaginery box inside my head and put the lid on until I have to face it again. That way I focus on 'the here and now' and function at an adequate level. Other than that I use lots of distractions techniques like you will find in the SI forum lists, mine include coming here , crosswords, walks, TV, reading magazines, going for a drive with no destination in mind (not such a great option with petrol prices so high!), helping out all my friends with their problems (it feels like I've kinda become the neighbourhood agony aunt with 3 neighbours and another friend all regularly coming to me for a listening ear and wanting me to try and help find solutions for their probs...this is a FANTASTIC distraction lololol). Oh, and I tend to overeat too
I hope you are feeling a little better, and that you are able cope in a safe way.
Take care
(((((music1)))))