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Old May 21, 2008, 01:22 PM
MikeHart82 MikeHart82 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2008
Posts: 1
Hi everyone, I’m Mike. Really glad I found this place and am looking forward to making some new friends =) Anyway, onto my “story”. I’ve been in chronic pain since about the age of 15 and am 23 now. Only recently did I get to a good doc who determined I have nerve degeneration in both my legs (via an EMG). . But what I struggle with almost as much as the pain itself is what it may have been caused by. I was never in a car accident, never played contact sports or fell on my hips or back or anything. But I was physically abused by my older brother on a regular basis starting when he was around 16 and I was 9 (we had virtually no relationship, he was and still is a very miserable person in my mind). For example I can remember sitting on the floor watching t.v. and then being mule kicked in the back, getting my neck twisted, my stomach stomped on, that sort of thing. One time he just picked me up and dropped me belly first onto a bedpost. It was way beyond any type of sibling rivalry. When your 17 and 18 you gotta know you could be permanently injuring somebody. My dad was “recovering” heroin addict even though he’s admitted to still using other drugs when we were kids. He was pretty much in his own little world, considered himself a “stay at home dad”, even though he spent most of the time in his room sleeping and the closest thing we ever saw to a home cooked meal was a hot pocket. Needless to say he was a verbal abuser himself and when I told him what my brother was doing he thought I was just getting teased and basically told me to get over it. Anyway by the time I was 15 my brother had moved out and both my legs were aching constantly. I tried telling my dad I was injured and needed to go to the doctor, but like I said, he was just out of it, he 43 when I was born and was toast by the time I was in middle school, and that’s putting it nicely. He could barely bring himself to leave the house and would just tell me “oh it can’t be that bad, just try and forget about it my elbow hurt for 15 years bla bla bla”. Its just hard to get passed the fact that one, my brother was abusing me and my dad didn’t anything about it despite the fact that I told him what he was doing. And also the fact that I was basically deprived of medical attention due to my dad’s indifferent, ultra lazy, zombie like state of mind. Its like I ultimately paid for HIS drug habit(s). To this day, he just sits on his ***, smokes weed, and collects SS. A 66-year old year old man who smokes a half 8th per day. I can’t help but be ashamed. A few weeks ago, when I told him I would be graduating college after next semester he had the audacity to say “now it’s gonna be YOUR turn to take care of ME”. Anyway, sorry if that was a little long and drawn out, its just the pain is particularly bad today I think because it got a little colder overnight. Although these chocolate covered pretzels are helping for the time being =)

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  #2  
Old May 21, 2008, 02:51 PM
Troy Troy is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2008
Location: Just arond the corner
Posts: 494
So sorry to hear about all of this, Mike... You've never had the attention you need for your injuries or your abuse. I'm glad you've found this place. It has been a huge help for me.

I wish there was some place you could move to for the remainder of your univ. year. You'll be outa there after graduation ... and I trust you'll escape to a place where your dad cannot leech on you and your finances. You deserve better.

You must be a strong person to survive and now to tell about it. You have a lot of courage. I'm proud of you and know you'll accomplish big things.

T.
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  #3  
Old May 21, 2008, 08:24 PM
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onlymedid onlymedid is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 2,856
Mike, WELCOME!!! I am so sorry that you had to endure that type of treatment. It was very unfair. It sucks that you are in so much pain. I hope you find everyone as kind as I have. We are a really supportive group.

I am proud of you, too!

BJ
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"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."

Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
  #4  
Old May 22, 2008, 05:06 AM
john4 john4 is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
Location: London, England
Posts: 529
RE: MIKEHART82:
Welcome, welcome, welcome !!!
Gut-wrenching to see what you're going through, Mike. But do stay on here - you'll find them very supportive here, they really are very wonderful, caring, co-operative folk: I'm so glad I found the site, it's helped me enormously.
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