[butterfly34]

i am new to all of this. but i was sexually abused from the age of 7-13. my grandfather abused e.i stopped it myself at 13. my family has never supported me. the only one that has is my mother. they all support my grandfather. they have abandoned my mother and i. basically shoved us out. act like i am not existent. they have been harrasing me for years to get my grandfather off of probation. i did just recently due to his health. before i made that decision, i contacted all of them. but now he is off of probation, and i have received no thanks or appreciation. its of course still like i do not exist. but i want to change all that. i want the truth to come out, and all the lies and hiding to stop. i want them to realize i am here and not going away. to face what they have done. i guess my question is have any of you not only faced your abuser, but also the ones who have not supported you? is it possible for things to change?

[Sannah]

Butterfly, I am sorry that that happened to you... Most people never get what they need from toxic families. I know how good it would make you feel if everyone told you that they were sorry and everyone knew how to then act appropriately. If you have a toxic family they will need a lot therapy to be healthy and it sounds like no one is even thinking about therapy in your family. You don't need to convince your family of what is the truth and what is right to get better. You really don't. You can get better without their "help". Are you in therapy?

[butterfly34]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Butterfly, I am sorry that that happened to you... Most people never get what they need from toxic families. I know how good it would make you feel if everyone told you that they were sorry and everyone knew how to then act appropriately. If you have a toxic family they will need a lot therapy to be healthy and it sounds like no one is even thinking about therapy in your family. You don't need to convince your family of what is the truth and what is right to get better. You really don't. You can get better without their "help". Are you in therapy?

yes i do have a very toxic family. they are not ones to accept who did the wrong. instead they support my granfather who is the abuser. yes it would be nice if everyone in my family would apologize. but i know thats not reality. i do agree that my family desperstely needs counseling. but back when i turned in my grandfather, in the law, it was not mandatory that my family have counseling. my grandfather got very little counseling at all. i got some counseling. than i went through more therapy later on. i have become a much stronger person through all this. they do not like the fact, i am able to stand up for myself, and the truth. they want to hide. i feel i should not let them hide, anymore. i feel they should face their wrong doing. they should face me. but i always seem to be the one taking the steps, and not them. its like they are afraid of me, because i am reality, and i am. standing up is not easy, but it would be nice to be accepted again, instead of being non existent to them. its hard and its confusing.