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Old Jan 26, 2009, 02:41 AM
alas alas is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2009
Location: New York
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Hi all,

Tomorro I am seeing a new t and am a little nervous. I told her over the phone about past trauma but no details.

I have no issues what so ever about talking about my abuse, but the problem comes with the emotion shown when I do, I keep myself, or rather distance myself so far from it that it looks like it doesn't effect me.

Coming off like a cold person is not what I want or for her to think I just need to deal with it and then the emotion will come. I already dealt with this part of mylife and yes I would like support from her when issues about it arise from time to time but I don't want her to focus on it either.

I guess I just needed to blurt that out, but I was wondering if anyone else has this distance thing going on?

alas
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  #2  
Old Jan 26, 2009, 01:58 PM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Hi Alas, I think therapists are very used to seeing people emotionally detached from their experiences.
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  #3  
Old Jan 26, 2009, 03:24 PM
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stella01 stella01 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2009
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hi im the same i have no emotions attached to my past abuse but i have very few memories either & am about to deal with that, very scared it might crush me when i find out what really happened.so i cant help but your not alone im sure its common.
  #4  
Old Jan 29, 2009, 03:25 PM
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melissa1202 melissa1202 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stella01 View Post
hi im the same i have no emotions attached to my past abuse but i have very few memories either & am about to deal with that, very scared it might crush me when i find out what really happened.so i cant help but your not alone im sure its common.
I'm the same way- can't remember a whole lot. And scared what will happen when I do. It's nice to see I'm not the only one.
  #5  
Old Jan 29, 2009, 05:24 PM
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chaotic13 chaotic13 is offline
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If you really think you have no issues with the past abuse, maybe you can just tell her that. Maybe just say, "I mentioned to you on the phone that I am a surviver. I disclosed this because...its an experience that still occasionally presents turbuence and may surface when we address other issues. At this point I feel like I've dealt this that issue. I would like to focus my therapy with you on other concerns. I would appreciate it if you help me do that."

My question for you is...why do you think the way you act doesn't reflect how you really feel. If we've really dealt with something...shouldn't we be able to make our inside response more consistent with our outside response? I think what I am looking for is...being able to act in a way consistent with how I feel. If I've truely accepted what happened then I should no longer worry about showing the wrong front when communicating with someone who is trustworthy.

If your concern is more that the T will always want to direct things back to your abuse, then maybe tell her, even though the topic is still challenging for me..I can discuss it without becoming overwhelmed. Please don't confuse this doesn't with denial, avoidance, or whatever.
  #6  
Old Feb 12, 2009, 09:55 AM
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ashsoccergirl ashsoccergirl is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2009
Posts: 33
Im kind of the opposite. I have a real hard time talking in person about what happened to me. and when i do, i get a bit emotional about it because i have so much held in. I cant look anyone in the eye and i dont like people seeing me cry so i make it seem like it doesnt effect me. i want to talk about it but nothing seems to come out when i try. i guess some of it is because my mom doesnt believe me and gets everyone else against me. i may hint that i want to talk about by saying that i have a lot bothering me, and my theripist asks me like what, i just cant say anything.
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