i feel im sinking into a cycle

im sorry i need to vent im lowkey worried about myself but i dont know what to do about it.

lately (past 2 years) ive been doing cocaine every month week second day. i dont pay for it my friends do it and im just along for the ride. but now i buy it on my own. but i dont crave it unless im reminded of it. and now i guess jm scared. ive lost friends to cocaine. theyre priorites and morales change.

i dont want to change. what do i do. should i stay away from them. its just willow. one friend. but no one says no. they enable i enable.

the vicious cycle.

It doesn't matter if you pay for it...it matters what it does to you and how it affects your life.

Are you guys smoking cocaine or snorting it? Not that it makes a difference I am just curious because I feel like smoking it is more addictive.

I never smoked it but I had a b/f that did.

Once a month is not really bad..but the fact that it is not a prescribed drug and you don't know what you are getting (since it isn't approved by the FDA)...than it is dangerous.

Sometimes fear will stop someone from using..so I will tell you a story.

My friends husband did cocaine once in a while..and one day they were going into Walmart (a store with clothing and food around here that has great prices)...He didn't feel good cause he had just done some cocaine..and told her he was going to stay outside for a moment.

He had a heart attack and died outside of

Walmart from doing cocaine.

Doing an "upper" like cocaine..puts strain on your heart muscle...

Im 54...I have done cocaine in my lifetime but it was not my drug of choice (I liked alcohol better)...and when I did it..I did small amounts..but I could always feel my heart jumping out of my chest and thought of my girlfriends husband.

Next time willow is doing it...maybe you will think of this story and think of protecting your own heart so that you can live a long happy life.