[Luce]

I got to see my friend on skype and I am so so happy. it was a little bit different cos our friends in her had grown older! one of my friends was 6 before and now she is 12! but I am just the same age. I have missed them a lot and they missed us to. I feel so happy to see them and now we can see them again to it wont be years and years and years til we see them again.
if you ever get to have a friend who is a multiple to then do it cos they can be the best friends ever!!!!

[catman8989]

Awwwwww that's so good. I'm happy for you that you got to skype your friend.

[amandalouise]

I have friends who have DID too. before I was integrated we didnt do a lot of talking, playing with each others alters. quite the opposite. we made sure we did not trigger each other so that we would not dissociate, for the both of us it was / is quite scary knowing in order to dissociate into alters someone has to be triggered by something. even if the trigger was\ is a positive trigger it was/ is scary knowing something we say to each other could be so upsetting to the other friend that they would dissociate. my friends and I care so much for each other that we dont want each other to be triggered and dissociate all over the place. my friends that are still DID and I make a rule together that if one or the other starts having dissociation problems we end the call / end the skyping so that the one that is triggered can use their grounding and other therapy tools to help their self feel better, rather than encouraging each other to dissociate more. now that I am integrated its even more important that I and my friends take time to make sure we are not triggering each other to dissociate.

[Luce]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I have friends who have DID too. before I was integrated we didnt do a lot of talking, playing with each others alters. quite the opposite. we made sure we did not trigger each other so that we would not dissociate, for the both of us it was / is quite scary knowing in order to dissociate into alters someone has to be triggered by something. even if the trigger was\ is a positive trigger it was/ is scary knowing something we say to each other could be so upsetting to the other friend that they would dissociate. my friends and I care so much for each other that we dont want each other to be triggered and dissociate all over the place. my friends that are still DID and I make a rule together that if one or the other starts having dissociation problems we end the call / end the skyping so that the one that is triggered can use their grounding and other therapy tools to help their self feel better, rather than encouraging each other to dissociate more. now that I am integrated its even more important that I and my friends take time to make sure we are not triggering each other to dissociate.

AL, I am sorry it was that way for you. You really missed out on some wonderful experiences.
I think our system must be very different to yours. For one we never had a singular front alter or host that would try not to get triggered into alter states. Our front group was a collection of alter states that routinely handled day to day life. It would have been impossible to have any meaningful relationship with anyone and not involve alters. That our collective front group of alters were able to have authentic friendships with others who understood and had a similar collective was truly a gift to us, and them.

I can relate to your post however, if I view the rest of the system as you did your alters. Because although we shared about our traumatized alters in conversation, those ones were not a part of the criss-cross of relationships. Like you said above, we all took care to avoid triggering those ones out. That was when we would help each other with grounding skills etc.
But for our respective front groups, with all the alters who routinely dealt with every day living, our friendship was the most incredible experience. If it had been any other way during that time of our life, our life would have been desolate, isolated and hopeless indeed.