I'm here too

Well this is exactly the right place for me...I've been cruising/lurking the fora....unsure where to start whining because all that's really wrong is the time of year and trying to decrease my most effective med (Effexor) mandated by the medication provider. Although thanks to someone here, I have found a way to fill (cheaply) the extra script my doc gives me...just really pisses me off.

I'm guilty of isolating because it looks like to me no one is making any effort to stay in touch with me, therefore, they really don't give a damn and I can't blame them. I wonder why I spent so much time and effort on them. I guess I'm just a difficult person. Any group I've tried has contained at least one person that irritated me so much I quit.

I cancelled an appointment today with a rheumatologist with whom I thought I could track down the odd pains I've had ever since my internist jumped on the statin bandwagon and I had to discontinue myself. The rheumatologist is about the age of my daughter and dressed so stylishly. But after she touched me (fully clothed checking trigger points for fibromyalgia I think) she had to sanitize herself with the hand stuff. I know, I know, but there should be a better way to go about it than right in front of the patient immediately after you touch them. Anyway I could not face that again feeling like I will burst into tears any minute, so I cancelled and did not reschedule.

It is not appropriate to burst into tears in public...the last time I did that in a pcp's office, they looked at me like I was from mars.

So, I'm 59 yo, have struggled with major depression which turned into refractory and/or bipolar II with assorted other dx's. I've taken various and sundry ssri's but apparently need the sNri's. Currently taking Effexor and Cymbalta. Was at 450mg Effexor morning and 225mg at night (when I couldn't have the XR). It was perfect. I also take lamictal 300mg, Topamax 300mg, Seroquel 50mg, thorazine 30mg, klonopin prn (not very often). So, of course any other doc makes noises about over-medication. I've done about everything other than ECT. I live alone so I don't think that's a possibility.

To me it looks like I just have to deal the best I can until I die. And, I was doing pretty ok but then my therapist died, and my job decided I should be retired (because I spoke the truth and made too much money) and now they want to cut my anti-depressant??? That really helps.

So I'm feeling sorry for myself and vulnerable. My sister is avoiding me I think. She's the one person I can talk to (actually talk on the phone) but she has her own mid-50's angst going on now.

refractorily yours,
stephanie

Hi stephanie,
I've cried in front of my doctor. I've gotten over the embarrassment but it doesn't make him any different. He is much the same. It is nice when they aren't afraid to touch you like you have a disease. I mean, times have changed, doctors are likely more paranoid with all the stuff going on. But it does feel like the humanity of them is not there any more.

Mine gave me some expired tylenol with muscle relaxant today. It's okay. I know it won't hurt me. But pain is perceived differently by everyone and he always thinks I'm making things up.

Not trying to make this about me, sorry. I also have a sister who I'd like to talk to but is going through her own things in her 50's. I'm closer to getting that age. I'd be here if you need someone to talk to. I'm feeling like I will be all alone for the rest of my time however long it is. Dealing with unexplained as of yet, any real diagnosis, other than sacroilitic joint pain....

Sorry about your job. Now you must have more time, find things you can do? Sorry about your therapist. Do you miss your job or will you appreciate having time off now?

So you were taking 675 mg of Effexor a day? I think the max recommended dose is 225. I have seen a lot of people on here taking 450. I think if it ain't broke don't fix it but 675 is a lot if that was the case. Maybe I mis read that. I think they consider 450 to be ok now. How much are you currently taking?

Effexor XR (Venlafaxine Hydrochloride Extended-Release) Drug Information: Indications, Dosage and How Supplied - Prescribing Information at RxList

Dear Stephanie,

I hope that this is not upsetting for you, but I am wondering if you are being victimized by bad medical advice and drug companies. You're giving me the impression that you are doing nothing but taking various drugs for your depression. I think that's just never the right thing to do.

Please have a look at the last post in this thread

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...escaped-5.html

- vital

Thank you to everyone for replies. I'm down to 300mg morning and 75mg at night of the regular (not XR) Effexor. But I think I'm feeling it. I'll be seeing pdoc on the 20th. This is a bad time of year anyway - darker with the time change and allergies active.

I've run across a couple of other people taking the very high (600mg+) dose of Effexor...probably refractive depression!

Vital - many of us dx'd as bipolar take a cocktail of medications that has been honed over years. My doc is about the best in the area and I have every faith in her. Before her, I tried many different anti-depressants and most worked for maybe a month or 3 and then pooped out. What she has done is put me on 2 anti-depressants that work better together - for me - along with 2 meds that are actually anti-convulsants, but are often used for folks with my disorder, two because I couldn't take the max dose of one of them. Then a tiny dose of 2 different anti-psychotics so, yeah it's a lot but it has helped a lot.

The first "professional" I went to got me hooked on Xanax (given to take the edge off the anti-depressant). I had to go to treatment to get off of it. And I've already mentioned my recent problems with the statin drugs...that's pharma at work. Actually my lovely job that kicked me to the curb was a pharma company (not manufacturing any of the afore-mentioned drugs).
I'm pretty proactive these days in researching anything anyone thinks I should take (unless I'm too depressed I guess). Thanks for your concern.

Any responses really help me feel like yeah, I'm being heard and I count enough for someone to answer. Thank you !!!

stephanie

I'm so glad you found these things that work for you...for me, I think I've been depressed since I was 4 years old and it stems from the loss of my natural father and subsequent emotional and physical abuse of the 3 stepfathers my narcissistic mother found necessary to bring into our lives. I've done much therapy, inpatient and out, several 12-step groups, etc. I practically kept a natural health food store in business for a while. I've done a lot besides take drugs, believe me...I'm 59 yo.

dfwsteph,

I have had more luck with the SSNRI's. A new one called Fetzima has worked better for me than anything ever has and I have been on a lot. Over the years Effexor was the best one except for Fetzima. Effexor eventually pooped though.

I too have been in therapy one on one, group therapy, 20 years in AA, years of Alanon, CBT, 20 years meditation, on and on.......

nice to meet ya zinco...sorry you have this experience, but good to know someone is sympatico...thanks for telling me about the Fetzima...good to know there's another possibility...wellbutrin hits all 3 receptors but it sent me up the wall...

when I was first told bipolar, I was distressed to find out the times I thought I felt "good" were actually hypomanic for me...I think I've finally smoothed out but this time of year sucks

when one has lived to be our age, we've pretty much tried most everything there is (or was), not just sat back taking meds and crying...I haven't done ECT because I'm on my own and, until 3 years ago, was holding down a job

I think there's a lot to be said for our shared experience...learning to modify our reaction and that we can't change others

thanks again,

stephanie

Worst time of year for me too. Always has been. Better to be hypo manic then depressed in my book, as long as it is the happy kind.

I have to say all the things I have done in my life as far as treatment has helped me overall. Just hasn't rid me of the depression. Basically the same pattern since I was 13 unless meds are working or maybe it would have been much worse without meds. Hard to tell.

I am not on the pity pot or sit around whining and crying about it. It is what it is and I keep trying. I won't give up looking for solutions but at this point it is about how to manage my life given the way things are.