Birthday blues

Fizzyo · Mar 02, 2015 at 03:51 PM

Its my birthday in a couple of weeks

Possible trigger:

and I am finding it really hard to face up to starting another year with this depression. It's been so long and feels like I will still be the same in a year's time too.

I have worked my way through most antidepressants and other medication alongside them as well as a whole range of talking therapies but this time I can't shift it. I Want to be able to work again with my symptoms not perfect, but manageable. Is that too much to ask? Looking forward with trepidation.

Age 45
Dysthymia and nearly 2 years severe depression

pegasus · Mar 02, 2015 at 05:38 PM

Hello Fizzyo,

For many of us it is about accepting that it is about coping with what we have. So, we build up a toolbox of coping strategies for those really dark days. Birthdays and celebrations can be difficult times for some people, take each day, one by one literally, don't look too far ahead, that way you will dread the future less.

Fizzyo · Mar 03, 2015 at 10:36 AM

Thank you Pegasus, it's no what I want to hear but I'm sure you are right. It's hard to see my toolbox doing the job even half a day at a time. I just have to keep trying.

Fuzzybear · Apr 04, 2015 at 01:28 PM

(((((((( Fizzyo ))))))))))
I relate to what you say so much....

Apr 04, 2015 at 02:13 PM

I remember last year I really had trouble with my birthday because I was suicidal and hated the thought of having survived yet another year. So I understand your struggle.

I read you saying you've tried a lot of meds and talk therapies, have you considered/tried ECT? It's the only thing that's done anything for my depression, even if it's only just a tiny bit.

Edit: There's another thread in this forum by newgal2 about ECT if you're curious.

Fizzyo · Apr 05, 2015 at 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Breadfish

I remember last year I really had trouble with my birthday because I was suicidal and hated the thought of having survived yet another year. So I understand your struggle.

I read you saying you've tried a lot of meds and talk therapies, have you considered/tried ECT? It's the only thing that's done anything for my depression, even if it's only just a tiny bit.

Edit: There's another thread in this forum by newgal2 about ECT if you're curious.

Thanks Breadfish, it really helps that you understand. One Pdoc suggested ECT but the one who knows me longer says it would at most be short term benefit and I have higher than average risk of confusion afterwards which may not resolve. I Can tell you I was gutted, he does use ECT but not in depression as longstanding as mine. (33 years). I hope your next birthday is better.

fizzyo

Fuzzybear · Apr 05, 2015 at 01:12 PM

I'm allergic to all the SSRI's - it makes my rash so bad I'd need to take oral steroids which are known for dangerous side effects. I've not spoken re ECT but wouldn't be surprised if they said the same thing. Grrrrrrrrrr

I wish you healing and I still believe its out there somewhere. Thanks for letting me be your first friend on here

Safe love to you, fellow UKer ..

pinkflower17 · Apr 08, 2015 at 10:55 AM

I'm sorry you're struggling so much. My birthday is coming up as well and I'm completely dreading it. I related to a lot of what you said. I also struggle a lot with just making it day by day. I used to be and still am somewhat a very goal directed person, so I struggle with not working on accomplishing everything I "should" everyday. It's definitely a day to day thing.
What have you tried med wise? Have you tried augmentation with some of the lesser used, but sometimes effective meds - thyroid meds, stimulants, lithium, atypical antipsychotics?. Sometimes you need to hunt around with a doc until you find one who's willing to be creative. There is also ECT, transcranial magnetic stimulation, light therapy, exercise, talk therapy and ketamine. Ketamine is much newer and probably hard to find, but there are studies out there being done.
Have you had a medical eval to rule out medical causes like hypothyroidism or anemia? Those can be pretty easily checked for.
Sometimes a second opinion at a decent sized teaching hospital is helpful. They tend to be up to date on the latest and greatest.
Hope you feel better soon.

Voidshadow · Apr 10, 2015 at 07:15 PM

Hey, just wanted to say, thanks for dropping by my thread, it feels good to know people out there care for you. Just wanted to say, I haven't experinced what you have, but I hope you feel better soon. I may not be able to offer advice, but if you ever need a shoulder, I'll be there.

unhappydaze · Apr 12, 2015 at 07:57 PM

Fizzyo, I'm in the same situation. A few years older & have had ECT but otherwise identical based on your description. I got nothin' except

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Fizzyo Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2015 Location: UK Posts: 3,282 9 3,980 hugs given	Mar 03, 2015 at 10:36 AM #3 Thank you Pegasus, it's no what I want to hear but I'm sure you are right. It's hard to see my toolbox doing the job even half a day at a time. I just have to keep trying.
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Fuzzybear Wisest Elder Ever Member Since Nov 2002 Location: Cave. Posts: 96,453 (SuperPoster!) 21 81.4k hugs given	Apr 04, 2015 at 01:28 PM #4 (((((((( Fizzyo )))))))))) I relate to what you say so much.... __________________
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unhappydaze Member Member Since Apr 2015 Location: central Texas Posts: 86 9 242 hugs given	Apr 12, 2015 at 07:57 PM #10 Fizzyo, I'm in the same situation. A few years older & have had ECT but otherwise identical based on your description. I got nothin' except
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