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Babysteps4me
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Frown Apr 30, 2015 at 01:40 PM
  #1
Do a lot of you get like I do? I call it "hideout mode." I sit in a small room all alone - all day. I drink soda or iced tea - smoke cigarettes - don't eat - and do nothing I am supposed to do that day. All day. I miss plans, work stuff, right now I am supposed to be packing to move! I am afraid to leave the house, take a shower, go downstairs in my apt building to get packages or mail. And I can be this way (adding in tons of sleeping) for SEVERAL DAYS STRAIGHT.

I am trying to force myself to move, get up and outside.
Anybody else ever go through anything similar? Please if you do or have - I feel like I am all alone. So small. So not in control of me. Thanks.
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Default Apr 30, 2015 at 02:26 PM
  #2
Hello, Babysteps4me. Not to the point of remaining in a single room, but my life has shrunk to staying home and going out only for medical and pdoc appointments.

I cannot "force" myself to do things any more. I can, however, "surf" small waves of weak energy to do a little of this and that. I almost never complete any task in in single session.

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Fizzyo
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Default May 10, 2015 at 04:24 AM
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Default May 11, 2015 at 07:43 PM
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Same here, lots of homey stuff, and out for groceries, sometimes long periods of time.

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Default May 11, 2015 at 07:56 PM
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I definitely get to the point where I dread having to do everyday stuff. Well dread may not be the right word but I definitely feel overwhelmed by everyday sorts of things, for example I am putting off a pile of bills that needs to be paid. I mean how hard is it to write a check, stick it in an envelope, slap a stamp on it, and walk it down to the post office? But I just don't have the energy.

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Default May 11, 2015 at 11:47 PM
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I call it hermit mode. I go into it every so often. I need a friend to literally drag me out to do things but it rarely happens nowdays so its really hard to find that self motivation and energy.
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Default May 15, 2015 at 01:17 PM
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Default May 15, 2015 at 06:07 PM
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Yes, that happens to me very often when I have a long depressive episode. It gets to the point where that becomes my "default mode" and going out is "different". It gets so that I feel pleased that I can make it out to get the mail or to buy groceries (I can't get them delivered!)
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Default May 17, 2015 at 03:49 PM
  #9
I relate. I must exert SO much energy, fight to do anything. I blame depression, I blame the meds, I wonder if it's chronic fatigue. I don't know. It's just always there. I hope you feel better, that we all feel more energy!
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Default May 17, 2015 at 06:40 PM
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Yes, I relate. I do the same thing. I'm in my dark bedroom right now. No cigarettes but otherwise you could have been describing me. It sucks and I am thinking of you. xo
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Default May 20, 2015 at 04:20 AM
  #11
Hi

This is what they call "Lethargy" and its a definitely a symptom of Depression. Unfortunately many mistake it for laziness. you feel totally sapped of energy and even simple tasks feel humongous. I have not left my home for the past 2 months and every time i feel i should to go out, i give up.

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Default May 21, 2015 at 11:30 AM
  #12
Hugs to all of you! I totally relate. I am struggling with this now. Remeron helped a little but then not. Feeling such shame for not being able to function like a normal human being, not working but feel I should be, but not having the mental strength to go out and find a job. I feel waves of anxiety thinking about getting a job. Self-esteem in the toilet. I wish we knew the answer.
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Wishfulthinking19
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Default May 26, 2015 at 08:42 PM
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I feel the same way but it comes and goes. I feel guilty because I should be happy for all I have, but I don't. Then my mind spirals and gets worse. I think poorly of myself when I shouldn't. I'm a social worker, so I know what to do... Just can't do it. I'm stuck. And my husband doesn't understand the illness. So I feel like I have no one, without him: (
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Rose76
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Default Jun 04, 2015 at 01:21 AM
  #14
I know what you're talking about. It's awful. You are not alone. It's hard not to feel bad about yourself. Well, it's impossible not to feel bad about yourself.

I get episodes like that. Sometimes it stretches into a prolonged interval, and it seems like it might never end. I hope your current state of mind improves. It would be great if you could just will it away. That's not something I'll ask you to do because I know better.
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Default Jun 04, 2015 at 02:02 AM
  #15
I just want to add that I think I know what you mean about being "afraid" to take a shower or go get the mail. That has happened to me, even though I had no history of being afraid to be alone, or in the shower, or of agoraphobia. These kinds of fears would come up that had nothing to do with my usual anxeties . . . and then, inexplicably, go away.
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Default Jun 08, 2015 at 02:41 PM
  #16
I am practically out of food right now, because I don't want to leave the apt. to go to the store. I have gone days without leaving, only scurrying outside to dump the cat litter in the dumpster. I watch hours and hours of t.v. and chain vape on my e-cig. I know...it's rough. Sending u comfort.
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