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Member
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 333
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#1
Unspeakable
A grief that cannot be named A longing beyond words Hope lost A dark vortex Pulling me away from Beauty and light I am turning 40 in 10 days, and I have struggled with depression since the age of 14. I have had many diagnoses, many different medications, many different therapists and different types of therapy, 3 different psychiatrists. I've struggled to be self-sufficient, and I'm still not there. I feel such despair. I can't live another 40 years with this. |
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*Laurie*, Amedot11, bluekoi, Chris22, EnglishDave, Fizzyo, Fuzzybear, Georgia Bridge, nervous puppy, vital
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 3,282
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#2
I really feel for you I have similar thoughts. It sucks....... and some.
All I can offer is a poxy hug, I hope it's better than nothing. I'm trying to send warm caring vibes too. ❤️❤️ |
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AuroraBorealis75
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,445
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#3
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Junior Member
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: Cosmos
Posts: 22
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#4
“24 The Lord bless you and keep you;
25 The Lord make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; 26 The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”’ |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
Member Since Apr 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 26,619
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#5
I can sympathize. I'm 63 and have suffered from depression since 32. There are days when I think I can't take it another day but in the end I manage to get through.
Every once in a while I'll have a good day. Hang in there. I hope you have better days in the future. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk __________________ Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha
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vital
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*Laurie*
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Washington
Posts: 5
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#6
I hear you - I think the same thing over and over but then I ask myself "what if tomorrow is different?" somedays its almost impossible to dig deep and find a glimmer of hope that there will be sunshine or unicorns or something positive - if i can just hold on for one more day, one more treatment, one more med, etc...today i'm just taking it one minute at a time - i can't cope with looking at years ahead, let's try to get through today in the hope that tomorrow someone will have a breakthrough in a new treatment option
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*Laurie*, Fizzyo
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Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Yorkshire, England
Posts: 390
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#7
Your words ring true. I am 54 in a fortnight, have lifelong Depression caused by my Personality Disorder. I cycle from Depressed to Severely Depressed according to my physical condition, which is not good. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.
Dave. __________________ You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers, To the shapes we now possess. The Sage. Emerson, Lake and Palmer. |
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*Laurie*, Fizzyo
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New Member
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 2
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#8
I hear you too. I just turned 40 a couple months ago and have been in and out of doctors offices/hospitals since I was 16. My youth and most productive years stolen. One of the worst parts is I feel my brain has stopped 'developing' like I've been in a coma for twenty years or something making me feel like I haven't aged. So it's like like I'm 21 and 91 at the same time.
All avenues available Ive traveled and there is nowhere & nothing left to try.
Possible trigger:
But...there are a bunch of new drugs just around the corner and so I try to remind myself that I'm still young, I still have time and maybe just maybe one of these new ketamine-type drugs or opioid regulating things that such companies as Alkermes, Allergan and Johnson & Johnson are working on might be the thing that finally gets us back on our feet. - Daniel Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Last edited by bluekoi; Nov 16, 2015 at 09:25 PM.. Reason: Add trigger icon. Apply trigger code. |
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AuroraBorealis75, bluekoi, EnglishDave, Fizzyo
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bluekoi, Fizzyo
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Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Yorkshire, England
Posts: 390
8 252 hugs
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#9
I already take Oral Ketamine as a Neurological Pain Killer. Have noticed no mood elevation in all the years I have been on it. Maybe it only works in certain circumstances.
Dave. __________________ You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers, To the shapes we now possess. The Sage. Emerson, Lake and Palmer. |
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Area25, Fizzyo
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