[AuroraBorealis75]

Unspeakable
A grief that cannot be named
A longing beyond words
Hope lost
A dark vortex
Pulling me away from
Beauty and light

I am turning 40 in 10 days, and I have struggled with depression since the age of 14. I have had many diagnoses, many different medications, many different therapists and different types of therapy, 3 different psychiatrists. I've struggled to be self-sufficient, and I'm still not there. I feel such despair. I can't live another 40 years with this.

[Fizzyo]

I really feel for you I have similar thoughts. It sucks....... and some.
All I can offer is a poxy hug, I hope it's better than nothing.
I'm trying to send warm caring vibes too.
❤️❤️

[Fuzzybear]

[Chris22]

“24 The Lord bless you and keep you;
25 The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
26 The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’

[gayleggg]

I can sympathize. I'm 63 and have suffered from depression since 32. There are days when I think I can't take it another day but in the end I manage to get through.

Every once in a while I'll have a good day. Hang in there. I hope you have better days in the future.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[sotiredoftherain]

I hear you - I think the same thing over and over but then I ask myself "what if tomorrow is different?" somedays its almost impossible to dig deep and find a glimmer of hope that there will be sunshine or unicorns or something positive - if i can just hold on for one more day, one more treatment, one more med, etc...today i'm just taking it one minute at a time - i can't cope with looking at years ahead, let's try to get through today in the hope that tomorrow someone will have a breakthrough in a new treatment option

[EnglishDave]

Your words ring true. I am 54 in a fortnight, have lifelong Depression caused by my Personality Disorder. I cycle from Depressed to Severely Depressed according to my physical condition, which is not good. There is no light at the end of the tunnel.

Dave.

[Area25]

I hear you too. I just turned 40 a couple months ago and have been in and out of doctors offices/hospitals since I was 16. My youth and most productive years stolen. One of the worst parts is I feel my brain has stopped 'developing' like I've been in a coma for twenty years or something making me feel like I haven't aged. So it's like like I'm 21 and 91 at the same time.
All avenues available Ive traveled and there is nowhere & nothing left to try.

Possible trigger:

The only thing keeping me from pulling the trigger is my 4 yr old niece.

But...there are a bunch of new drugs just around the corner and so I try to remind myself that I'm still young, I still have time and maybe just maybe one of these new ketamine-type drugs or opioid regulating things that such companies as Alkermes, Allergan and Johnson & Johnson are working on might be the thing that finally gets us back on our feet.

- Daniel



Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[EnglishDave]

I already take Oral Ketamine as a Neurological Pain Killer. Have noticed no mood elevation in all the years I have been on it. Maybe it only works in certain circumstances.

Dave.