At what point?

*triggers*
I don't know how to do the trigger thing



My depression is getting awful again with self harm and suicidal thoughts becoming increasingly frequent.
I saw my pdoc and he is reluctant to change meds. He added vyvanse, but it requires prior authorization from insurance so could be a while.

At what point do I say this doesn't work, I need inpatient?

I haven't self harmed, yet. The suicidal thoughts Are getting more intense.
I don't know what to do anymore
I'm pushing my family away, trying even to distance myself from my two year old because I just can't deal anymore

Have you called and spoken to anyone at the national hotline? Try that and see where that brings you.

Hopefully others will add their thoughts.

When you spend the majority of your time thinking about it, nothing else, just always always thinking about it....I think that's when you go in.

I hope that makes sense.

I'm sorry it's gotten so bad. I've been where you are. It's awful. We're all here for you but you have to do what is best and safe for yourself IRL.

So sorry you are going through this.

You are in a tight spot. Regarding the meds, it would probably be quicker to get a pre-authorization than to find another drug, and a correct dosage, to help you.

Nicoleb2,
well done for avoiding self harming! That's an awesome achievement.

I really feel for you. I also advocate phoning the helpline! The U.K. Samaritans have helped me so much with similar thoughts. It's never too much trouble for them to talk to you. And they never judge me, ever.

I find that the worse I feel, the more important it is for me to get out of the house(assuming you can at the moment).

Not only does it take me away from many of the means to self harm, but making myself interact means sometimes I get a positive response back and that can help, even if only for the time you do it, it's a brief respite, besides, stomping round the block can release some of the anger or other strong emotions you're feeling.
I wear glasses and find few people notice me crying, so I don't need let that keep me in.

Is there a support group or other kind of drop in for mental health in your area. I find my local one so helpful, everyone there understands and doesn't make a fuss. They also know how terrifying the first visit is.

Once they know someone, there's always a warm welcome. They know what's important in life.

It's a bit of a long response, but heartfelt. Best wishes!