Will I ever see the sun again?

After about 3 months of partial respite following a medication change. Now I'm back where I was ....

So sorry you have relapsed, Fizzyo It is always harder when you slide downwards after an elevation.

As to how long one can carry on - with others relying on one - a Lifetime, without release.

Dave.

Fizzyo, I'm so sorry to hear that.

Both you and EnglishDave . . . I don't know how you two do it with living in the UK where there is definitely not enough sun, especially during these winter months. Wish I could help.

Fizzyo, I've asked myself that question many times. I'm sorry you are suffering. Most of my life has been spent in depression however I manage to keep going. Even though there have been times when I would give up and wind up in the hospital.

I've just learned to say "and this too shall pass". I make it one step at a time.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

ALOHA Fizzo,

Yeah, it's unbearable. I ask the same question of myself daily. I honestly don't know how I've been able to survive as long as I have. I've read your posts and know how deeply you suffer. Unlike you, I haven't had any response to meds or therapy yet...but...I'm hoping for even just a moment of relief in the next few weeks with Nardil.

Some days all I have to hang onto is the thought, "well, I've got to hang in here long enough until they find a new treatment that I can try."

I look up all the current worldwide Clinical Trials at least weekly and know they are making some progress. There's a lot going on right now and I want to be first in line should something new become available.

In the meantime...most of my days...are filled with "postponing Sui" 5-minutes at a time. I am loved and will do whatever it takes to prevent causing others harm. I keep things very simple and congratulate myself for even simple accomplishments like taking a shower. ("YIPEE, YEAH, GOOD JOB...YOU DID IT!!) (I'm sure glad no one can hear me!)

Remember, you HAVE had some reduction in your symptoms which means it CAN happen again. Hang onto that fact in those dark, hopeless times.

My psychiatrist and mental health team really don't have anything else to offer me, they have said so.
I'm due to be discharged in March, I have to "learn to live with it."

I feel the benefit from this last antidepressant has almost worn off.
I have had years of therapy, tried all the meds he feels have any chance of helping....

Yesterday I couldn't even cope with finding cards with people's names on from a card index box, ended up in tears. Grrrr!

After this whinge, I want to thank ALL of you for your thoughts and encouragement.

I know I'm not alone, and your care is precious.

I'm sorry to hear that your team feels they have nothing more to offer. They shouldn't abandon you; maybe you need to find a new team.

Please keep check on yourself with long term use of Lithium as it can have a detrimental effect on your kidneys. Take care.

Ah, (((((fizzyo)))))) I'm so sorry the darkness is palpable. I see your supportive words on so many threads throughout the site.

You have a kind and gentle heart.

Sending you tons of hugs.

(((((((((( Fizzyo ))))))))))))

P.S I'm very sorry they are discharging you and are no longer even attempting to offer you the support (and assistance) that you (and all of us) deserve. You're a lovely person and deserve better. . I also know you're a survivor.

This has been said many times by many but maybe one day some other meds may be available

You're a wonderful person who gives so much support here - I wish you healing from unexpected sources

Thank you everyone for all your words of encouragement. It really helps to have your support.

Thank you everyone, I keep looking back at what you have written and your care helps me find the courage to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I'm in the same boat... I've just found a doc (after looking for a year) who's prescribing me Nardil. I've been on it 10-days, the side effects have been rough but I think it might work. I know how unbearable deep depression is when all the providers say there's nothing left to try...I can't accept that... I'm also going back to Neurofeedback. Keep some faith

Aw man. I haven't been here in a couple months but you seemed to be doing well. You were very kind to me. I really appreciated it, and still do.

You mentioned something in another post that immediately brought to mind the Master. (I hope this doesn't come across as flippant, as that's the last thing someone in your shoes wants to hear.)

Looking through your responses again (and Yoda's) reminds me that there may be some point in living with this hopelessness. I will keep trying, with all your encouragement


I pass a tricky date soon, maybe the dark will become less intense?

Anniversaries of negative events - if that is what you allude to - are always very difficult. If something else, I hope it passes quickly with only small ripples in your Mental pond.

You have to hang in there, soon we will have our 3 days of Summer I wonder if they will run consecutively?!?

Dave.

still hugging you

grrr. the emoji's are misbehaving today

You never know, miracles do happen