Will I ever be normal?

I've been on about 29 different medications since I was diagnosed 9 and a half years ago. Nothing has really worked except one med that eventually stopped after less than a year. Now my psych provider is trying new meds but none of it seems to work. I just feel so hopeless. I'm only in my mind 20s and have no job or post-secondary education. All I've really known is depression and anxiety, hospitals and clinic visits.

What scares me most is that this will be all I ever know. I don't want to live like this and I feel lazy yet I can't function despite everything I try. Apparently I don't qualify for ECTs and the one chance I got for a TMS consult I was denied, plus the cost is so high. If I could I would try ANYTHING to feel better. I often say, if someone were to tell me that I just had to stick my head in a doorway and shut the door a couple times, I would.

I'm broken.

Well, thank you for read this, any input, comments, similar or different stories would be appreciated.

Hello steelcurtain27: I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. Psych med's have never really done much for me either. I no longer take them. I've also seen a few different therapists over the years. But none of them were of any help either. One pdoc recommended I have ECT, but I declined. I've never looked into TMS.

You don't mention anything, in your post, regarding seeing a therapist. I presume you do. If not, you really should. Although I never found a therapist that was of help to me, there certainly are members here on PC who have had great success with therapy. It is an important component of the mental health recovery process. It can take a while to find the right one for you. But it's important to try. You need to find someone with whom you can process all that has gone on with you as well as to figure out how to proceed in your young life.

I don't know a lot about this... but are you familiar with the "Snap Club" concept? There is a member, here on PC, (vital) who I believe developed this & posted a long Thread about it:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

This might be something that would be of value to you. I wish I had some secret I could impart that would begin to make this all better for you. I don't But I hope that, in some way, you will be able to find your path toward healing. I send healing thoughts your way with the hope that it might be so...

Hi Skeezyks, thank you for your reply. I do see a therapist, she is actually quite helpful as I have seen many before who were not. I guess unfortunately, it is not as quick a fix as something like meds but then they haven't really worked so yeah there's that hm.

I know I'm supposed to be tech savvy and what not at my age but I've sort of rebelled/been too depressed to get interested in it despite wanting to (rebelling sounds better when talking to people who don't understand so please excuse my bad lies). Anyways, I'm not familiar with "Snap Club".

Again I appreciate your insight and response. I hope you find something that works for you as well!

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