Zoloft withdrawals really suck!!!

Zoloft (Sertraline) Withdrawal Symptoms: List + Duration

So I've been off Zoloft for about 13 days... Has it been that long?? My how the days have just CRAWLED by. Of all the symptoms listed, these are the ones that have hit me the hardest:

-Anger
-Anxiety
-Brain zaps (I HATE these! Terrible, whoever keeps shocking me with an invisible cattle prod is gonna get what for if they keep it up! Wait...it's my brain causing it? Oh jeez not again...)
-Confusion
-Cramps
-Decreased appetite
-Depression
-Depersonalization
-Dizziness (I wish this would go away! Even walking 20 feet sucks...)
-Fatigue (Thought I had chronic fatigue syndrome till I saw this on the list)
-Flu-like symptoms
-Headaches (Well for me they're migraines but that's nothing new...)
-Insomnia (I stay awake for days then pass out when it's inconvenient and everyone's awake and being noisy)
-Irritability (This is me to a 'T' right now. I'm not irritable, you are!!! JK)
-Memory loss (I joke that I have Alzheimer's a lot)
-Mood swings (These are exhausting! Holy crow!)
-Panic attacks (So sick of these...)
-Poor concentration (Though I've always had ADHD sooo...)
-Sleepiness (Even when I'm putting off going to sleep, I'm always tired)
-Suicidal thoughts (All day every day...wish they'd go away)
-Weakness

Backstory: I've been on Zoloft since age 15, I'm now 24 so 9 years. I was rarely ever at the "starter dose", my most common dose was 300mg a day which is 1.5x the maximum recommended dose! Diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder as a teen. My depression has been so constant and pervasive for over ten years now, that one psychiatrist mistakenly labelled me "Bipolar II". However, I've never been manic or even hypomanic so when I got a second opinion the new PDoc quickly said "You're not bipolar, and that guy sucks, I've worked with him before and didn't like him much as a doctor". Honestly sometimes it might be easier if I were cause from what I hear, mania/hypomania can give you more energy and make it possible to hold down a job for some! Nope, I'm just regular "depressive" and I can't do anything right...

Anyone know how much longer I can expect to feel these SSRI Discontinuation symptoms?? 13 days has taken forever, some websites say it can take months! NO WAY!! I want it to be over, yesterday!!! Sorry, I'm just whining. PC is one of the only places where I feel safe enough to be honest about what I'm going through. Too many people IRL would give me a funny look and say "go back on your meds". Gee, thanks Sherlock!!! Wish I'd have thought of that!!! Aaaand here we go with the mood swings again. I'm just gonna shut up before I embarrass myself further.