new old drug and general disaoointment with meds, doctors and my life.

and I am too tired to even be here.
Went to see a new shrink about getting TMS.
Thenfirst thing the DR says is that I take too much adderall and I am going to have a stroke. No indication of this at all.
It seems that with this HMO all they want to do to "help" me is to take away the meds that make me feel better. Not that they make me even feels better, just a little less than terrible.
I wonder what they think my
previous psychiatrist did for me all those years I saw him... duh he prescribed meds for my never ending depression.
It seems like the more I seek help and do what I am "supposed" to do the more they want to tell me I am some kind of a drug addict or whatever their deal is. I am not a drug addict, and I can see at this stage in my life why someone might turn to drugs to try and cope with these awful emotions.
So maybe I'll just stop taking all my meds and then what? See they see me for forty minutes or so and they never ask me how I feel- never ask me anything and never ask what sort of profound effect curtailing my meds might have in my daily life.
aI am not only depressed but now I am totally discouraged as well. I just dont want to even bother anymore because it seems like nobody ever listens to how I feel. uffda.