new old drug and general disaoointment with meds, doctors and my life.

and I am too tired to even be here.
Went to see a new shrink about getting TMS.
Thenfirst thing the DR says is that I take too much adderall and I am going to have a stroke. No indication of this at all.
It seems that with this HMO all they want to do to "help" me is to take away the meds that make me feel better. Not that they make me even feels better, just a little less than terrible.
I wonder what they think my
previous psychiatrist did for me all those years I saw him... duh he prescribed meds for my never ending depression.
It seems like the more I seek help and do what I am "supposed" to do the more they want to tell me I am some kind of a drug addict or whatever their deal is. I am not a drug addict, and I can see at this stage in my life why someone might turn to drugs to try and cope with these awful emotions.
So maybe I'll just stop taking all my meds and then what? See they see me for forty minutes or so and they never ask me how I feel- never ask me anything and never ask what sort of profound effect curtailing my meds might have in my daily life.
aI am not only depressed but now I am totally discouraged as well. I just dont want to even bother anymore because it seems like nobody ever listens to how I feel. uffda.

What is TMS? I know its probably a simple thing I am missing. I guess your old doc is no longer available? I cant stand the idea of new docs changing what works. Its a fear of mine. I too take adderall and my doc is like 70 and I worry that if she retires someone else will step in and change my meds too.

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Your post reminded me of some experiences I've had with mental health providers. (I'll spare you the details.) You didn't mention how old you are. I'm 70 now. And I finally cut my last connection to mental health services where I live... oh... about a year ago I guess it would be now. (Memory fails me...) I can relate to that last sentence in your post: "I just don't want to even bother anymore because it seems like nobody ever listens to how I feel. uffda." I hope that, in some way, you will be able to find a path to a brighter tomorrow.

I have lived every word of your post. ugh...i have sooo much to add but like you am too depressed to elaborate. No wonder sufferers go rogue.