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#1
Apr 26, 2019, 11:17 PM
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My meds at their max keep me from being suicidal. I still feel what's the point. Some of the time I am able to ignore this, other times like now I wish there was some from of relief. It's a heavy burden to bear. People cannot see the despair in my mind. Most people have no clue. Every ******* day it's an effort to put on the facade and carry on. Just sharing. People IRL, who do not suffer from a mental illness, have no clue what a day in our life is like. Just venting. Thank you members of PC for being there.
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 Anonymous44076, Anonymous49426, boomerango, Fuzzybear, Rose76, Skeezyks, wiretwister, zapatoes
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 Fuzzybear
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#2
Apr 27, 2019, 01:20 PM
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Thanks for sharing this.
 I think the hardest part of the whole thing is maintaining the façade... smiling when all you really want to do is to curl up in a corner & expire. Every once in a while a bit of my despair starts to leak through. My wife will say: "Are you okay?" I say: "Sure. I'm just tired." Of course, I know that's not really true. I suspect she knows it as well. But it's maintains the charade. 
__________________
"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
| Anonymous44076, bluekoi, boomerango, Fuzzybear, zapatoes
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| bluekoi, Fuzzybear
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#3
May 28, 2019, 11:24 AM
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Hugs to you, BlueKoi. I am grateful for your presence here. Thank you for sharing your experience.
 
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| bluekoi, Fuzzybear
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| bluekoi, Fuzzybear
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#4
May 29, 2019, 01:44 PM
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Hugs to you Bluekoi
  I too am very grateful for your presence here. Thank you for everything you do here to keep pc as safe and kind as it is. I can relate to much of what you say (except I can’t take meds) It is indeed such a battle to “carry on”  Thank you so much for sharing your experience. I wish more people irl understood, even somewhat. Much respect and care to you
__________________
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| Anonymous49426, bluekoi, zapatoes
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| bluekoi
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#5
Apr 27, 2020, 08:47 AM
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Yes Yes Yes Grateful for you.
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| bluekoi, zapatoes
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| bluekoi
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#6
Aug 16, 2020, 06:30 PM
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Re Depression Sucks
Thanks for sharing. I feel the same way re people who have not been depressed really don't have a clue. One can't describe depression in terms they can understand. Last time I was in the hospital I had a counselor that told me with tears in her eyes that she understood my depression because she had depression and anxiety of her own. She immediately had my full attention because she DID have a clue as to what it's like. Wish she was my talk therapist but alas on the hospital staff only. |
| bluekoi, zapatoes
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| bluekoi
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#7
Nov 14, 2020, 05:56 PM
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Same here it’s a long battle I think we just have to take more negative thought diet and listen to more Louise Hays tapes.
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| zapatoes
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#8
Dec 27, 2020, 06:43 PM
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Thank you for saying this. I feel like this everyday. The "is there a point?" "Will it ever get better?" play over and over. It's a private and personal Hell on Earth. But seeing you say I "just need to vent" resonates with me. It made me feel a little less alone.
Wishing you goodness and light, friend. |
| zapatoes
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#9
May 05, 2021, 03:23 PM
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Friends, I had to go through this too. However, during the depression, I did not even suspect that I needed treatment. I thought I'd be in this state for the rest of my life. The most terrible thing is that for me, this condition has become normal.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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