Need ideas

Hello. I haven't been on this website in a really long time. I am in desperate need of help.
I have suffered from depression all of my life and meds have kept me alive and functional. I'm sure I need a change of meds, but I don't even know where to go or what to do. Like everyone else, I have been on every medication available.
For the last year or more I've been slowly going downhill and now I am drowning. I can barely move out of bed, I have lost almost every job I take, I can't think clearly, I can't take care of my basic needs or shower. My children cry about me or are staying away from me. I'm not angry or mean, I am unmotivated and immobile and can't bring money into the house. I can't sleep and then sleep all day. everything around me has gone to *****. Most of all, I need help and can't think clearly enough to figure out how to get it. I sit in my room and cry. I am reaching out here to see iff anyone can give me direction toward help. TIA.

I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. What kind of support do you have now? Do you have any adult family members, doctors, friends who can help? Resources are different depending where you live but if you're feeling lost a crisis line is a good place to start. My local line put me in touch with a lot of great local resources. I found the number for an American helpline that mentions treatment referral and helping you find local resources.
SAMHSA 1-800-662-4357 24/7 (updated with new #)

I would try that first but if you feel unsafe please go to the hospital. Hang on there and if you need to talk to someone I'm here for you.

Do you have a current therapist and/or psychiatrist? Primary care?

If not, that might be your first step, at least to get the ball rolling. I don't know where you live or how difficult it is to get in the door with any of them.

If you have insurance, they usually have a number you can call (or a website to try to narrow down providers who are taking new clients/patients).

Also, what about significant others or family members? I would get them involved so they can help take care of you and the kids.

If all else fails, going to an ER with the expectation you'll be admitted somewhere might be your last option.

I'm sorry you are in such a deep awful pit. I don't think you can just medicate your way out of it, but there probably is some medication that could be helpful. I think being able to fall asleep at night is necessary for other things to fall into place. I personally believe that sleep disorders get under-treated. Have you ever taken a drug that let you sleep more normally?

You need to see a doctor. Is financing that a problem for you? Once you start seeing a physician about this, I would encourage you to be persistent. MDs are hesitant to prescribe a lot of medication, but you may need a few controlled substances to break out of your inertia. To get a pdoc to take your difficulties seriously, I would advise that you keep a log. Record your sleep pattern, among other things. This is data your pdoc can use to justify using controlled drugs.

While optimizing what can be gotten out of medication, you also have to see what needs to be changed in your life. Something does. What circumstance led to your problem with depression becoming so very acute now? I understand that this is a life-long problem. However, you probably weren't always this badly depressed. What happened?

Therapy might be helpful, but it can sometimes create the illusion of personal growth, without actually helping a person to grow. I believe there is something you need to change in how you are approaching life. Often a depressed person doesn't want to hear that. It sounds like "blame." But you are empowered when you see that a lot of the control is in your hands. I hope you find a way to start recovering.

I'm SO SORRY you're hurting SO MUCH, BlueMoon6! All the other wise, wonderful posters have already given you plenty of options so I won't repeat it too much. Definitely try to call a therapist if you can. Are you seeing a Pdoc as well? I feel like it may be useful to try to take some meds to at least try to regulate your sleep. Can you apply for disability if you're having money problems? That should help you at least a bit. Do you have anyone else in your life that can help you take care of your kids? Any friends or family members that you trust? Do you have an insurance that can help you pay for your therapist and your Pdoc? Most importantly, though, PLEASE STAY SAFE! That must be the priority BECAUSE YOU ARE IMPORTANT, YOU MATTER, YOU ARE VALUABLE, YOU HAVE VALUE AND YOU'RE WORTH IT! THE SAME THING GOES FOR YOUR KIDS! YOU'RE ALL VALUABLE HUMAN BEINGS! THAT'S A PROMISE! Of course we'll be here for you as well if you need advice and support! You can at least count on us if there's anything at all that you need! WE'LL NEVER JUDGE YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! I hope things will get better soon for you and that you'll be able to find the help you NEED AND DESERVE! WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK IN LIFE FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE A STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON! THAT'S A PROMISE! IT IS TRUE! Let us know how things are going for you, ok? WE ALL DO CARE ABOUT YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! Sending many AWESOME, kind, safe, sweet, warm, wise and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR KIDS, BLUEMOON6, JUST LIKE THE WAY YOU ALL ARE!

Are you on medication?

Hi Tia,

How is your oral health? Have you visisted your orthodontic/dentist for a checkup? Is your jawline receding?

Blue....I reside in the same hell as you (and have for many decades).
Tried EVERYTHING over & over & over to no avail.

Sadly I have no advice...just want to validate your suffering as only a fellow sufferer can.
btw...A loyal friend or puppy might be better than any Dr; Therapist or family member IME.
I'll keep looking for options for you (& me) & I'll check back w/ you so please post.
I'm new here and your post made me feel not so all alone in my misery. Wish you were not suffering as I do but it's helpful to know at least somebody gets it.

Sincerely; maydaymayday