I don't think I can keep going

I don’t think I will ever be functional or normal. I won’t be able to work, go back to school, make friends, have a social life, have a significant other, get married, have kids. Because that’s where I am currently at and have been for years. I am isolated and lonely. I barely leave my room. I have social anxiety, borderline personality disorder, OCD, Body dysmorphic disorder, major depression, severe low self esteem, severe low self worth, and deal with paranoia at times. I am trying to get on disability as I am bipolar as well. What’s the use, no point in trying. The isolation and loneliness kills me, I don’t have any friends and no one to talk to. I feel so alone in this condition, like no one can hear me or see me.

First off, I am so sorry you are going through this suffering. Next and maybe you don't see it but I believe you just took a gigantic step forward stepping out and at least asking for advice. I think that is a huge first step. If you are willing to listen to some of these community members here that just might have some ideas to get the ball rolling for you that just might be the starting point for getting your life started on the right foot again. First, I think you need to keep an open mind. You say that the loneliness is killing you. Is there anywhere even if it is a small step and within your home at first that you can engage in some sort of activity that you may like to do like video games, or puzzles, models or somethings like that. Then maybe lead up to going to the park or something like that. I really think this needs to be taken in small steps. I hope what I am saying may help a little bit.

thank you misery business

I do so many things on a regular basis to help myself. I go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week. I go for walks. I read. I draw. I write. I take pictures. I surf the web. I talk to people. Try to socialize. Some of these things provide temporary relief, but I always get back to square one. And most of these things don't really do much at all. I go to therapy twice a week. I take medications. I've been dealing with this for over ten years. I think this is it.

I empathize with your post so much. My current therapist has given me one thing that does help some of the time and I want to share it with you. I feel overwhelmed by the idea of doing anything. Self care or housework or anything. So my therapist advice was a riddle:

“How do you eat an elephant? “

Any number of pictures ran through my mind when she asked me that. Like, how could anyone eat an elephant? It’s a kind creature. Or it’s too big.

The answer was simple.

“One bite at a time.”

Just one small thing that you can do gets you closer to your goal. Even if the goal is overwhelming and seems impossible. That’s ok. Just do that one tiny thing that you can do and try not to worry about the rest right now. Just do that one thing.

Trying to fix our whole life isn’t achievable. But maybe just going outside for 2 minutes is. Or maybe cleaning up 1/10 of our room is a reasonable idea. Or maybe just calling a friend. Or maybe just washing your hair. Whatever you can do, start there. One step, one bite, at a time.

I hope this helps you some.

Love and prayers.