Best Child upbringing advice

pratyusha · Nov 29, 2021 at 10:19 PM

I wanted to know what could help us children be brought up in such a way that they have no trauma nor the mental disorder developed due to their surroundings.

Yaowen · Nov 30, 2021 at 05:19 PM

I wish I knew the answer to that. I really do!

vApricus · Feb 05, 2022 at 10:02 PM

I don’t believe such a thing is even possible.

Werewoman · May 29, 2022 at 01:17 PM

Raise them as hunter/gatherers once did. Children were never struck, they were encouraged to 'bother' adults while they were working so the children were taught valuable skills such as cooking and flint napping and they were encouraged to be curious. Unacceptable behavior was dealt with by reason, not punishment.

We are now a race of farmers and we now survive by agriculture instead which requires rigid harvest times, rigid schools, and little room for individuality.

Just my theory. Having ADHD makes me more likely to identify with hunter/gatherers.

Nammu · May 29, 2022 at 03:21 PM

It’s a fantasy that children can be brought up with no trauma, difficult situations prepare children for life. Buddha was brought up in a cocoon and it wasn’t until he experienced death and trauma that he grew into a butterfly and gained wisdom. You must experience darkness to appreciate the light.

Werewoman · May 29, 2022 at 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

It’s a fantasy that children can be brought up with no trauma, difficult situations prepare children for life. Buddha was brought up in a cocoon and it wasn’t until he experienced death and trauma that he grew into a butterfly and gained wisdom. You must experience darkness to appreciate the light.

Well then, let's just keep hitting them so they can appreciate the good things in life. Using any religion to justify hurting a child is ignorant and misguided.

Nammu · May 29, 2022 at 03:53 PM

I never said to hit them nor was I justifying abuse. You cannot raise a child in a cocoon and expect them to be well adjusted. There’s natural consequences to behavior and that needs to be learned young. It’s part of growth to experience hurt and grow from it. You ride a teeter totter to hard you’ll fall off, and you will make adjustments and learn from it. But no now we gonna pad the playground and take away anything that might cause a splinter.

Werewoman · May 29, 2022 at 06:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nammu

I never said to hit them nor was I justifying abuse. You cannot raise a child in a cocoon and expect them to be well adjusted. There’s natural consequences to behavior and that needs to be learned young. It’s part of growth to experience hurt and grow from it. You ride a teeter totter to hard you’ll fall off, and you will make adjustments and learn from it. But no now we gonna pad the playground and take away anything that might cause a splinter.

Then what you are referring to is life experience, not necessarily trauma. Trauma is not necessary to experience light. In your analogy, Buddha was protected from life experiences and denied learning from them. It's a parable warning people about the consequences of denying life experiences not causing trauma to know happiness which is how your post came across to me, that trauma is a necessity.

UnawareBS · Jun 24, 2022 at 08:15 AM

I agree with that analysis. We get in ruts where we won't talk about trauma. One time, a doctor told me she didn't particularly see any reason to talk about it and I thought...yeah, that's ok...but found years later that I really did need to talk. Do you have a good source for the Buddha on the net?

farazn2202 · Jun 16, 2023 at 10:05 AM

Create a loving and nurturing environment for your child. Show them unconditional love and support. Encourage their curiosity and exploration. Set clear boundaries and provide consistent discipline. Foster open communication and actively listen to them. Teach them empathy, kindness, and respect for others. Encourage their independence while providing guidance. Be a positive role model and celebrate their individuality. Prioritize their physical and emotional well-being.

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pratyusha New Member Member Since Nov 2021 Location: India Posts: 7 2	Nov 29, 2021 at 10:19 PM #1 I wanted to know what could help us children be brought up in such a way that they have no trauma nor the mental disorder developed due to their surroundings.
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Yaowen Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2020 Location: USA Posts: 3,687 (SuperPoster!) 4 6,528 hugs given	Nov 30, 2021 at 05:19 PM #2 I wish I knew the answer to that. I really do!
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vApricus New Member Member Since Feb 2022 Posts: 1 2	Feb 05, 2022 at 10:02 PM #3 I don’t believe such a thing is even possible.
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UnawareBS Member Member Since Jun 2022 Location: Hillsboro, OR Posts: 191 2 115 hugs given	Jun 24, 2022 at 08:15 AM #9 I agree with that analysis. We get in ruts where we won't talk about trauma. One time, a doctor told me she didn't particularly see any reason to talk about it and I thought...yeah, that's ok...but found years later that I really did need to talk. Do you have a good source for the Buddha on the net? __________________ I Love You
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