Abused as a child and blocked painful memories for years

I am new here so very wary about this.

I was abused as a child by a couple of family members for many years, i tried telling my parents and they just ignored it and it carried on and i ended up having to bury the painful memories for years. All the memories have now surfaced during a counselling session and i am now a complete mess.

I have discussed all this with my therapist, close friend and boyfriend and they all say that i should report it to the police and take legal action against them. I'm so scared of doing it as i feel like in a way that its my fault (part of me knows its not though). I also know it will rip my family to shreds. I know it would be the right thing to do deep down they should be brought to justice for what they have done. I just don't know if i am strong enough and able to do it.

If anyone has any advice or anything please let me know as the people i have mentioned don't seem to realise just how difficult this is

I can totally relate with the uncertainty of the strength it takes to report an abuser, especially if that abuser was someone you were supposed to be able to trust for years and years. I can also relate to the resurfacing of bottled up memories. As for the affect it has on your family, that is something that is out of your control whether you report or not. Keep in mind the importance of being honest with yourself and treating yourself well. Do what you feel needs to be done to heal from this.

Being healthy is #1 top priority! A very good detective even reminded me of this during my first attempt at making a report. I didn't feel confident that my memories, fuzzy as they are, would be enough to support my statement and I felt very fearful about my safety. Then again, I am continuously confident that I know what happened to me, despite the fuzziness in specifics, and my family and T is constantly here to support me. Bottom line, the abuser needs to be held responsible. If he can't own up to it on his own, I feel it is necessity for me to keep fighting for it. Otherwise, he may be out there still hurting more children. Right now I am working my way up to going back to make my report.

Reporting is emotionally draining, so there is much to consider for the process. But it can be done. Healing, too, can be emotionally draining but also can be done, whether or not you choose to report.

I have found it quite difficult to find others who openly want to talk about the process of reporting an abuser as well, so if you would like to chat more about this privately, feel free to send me a message.

Wishing you well,
Sunflower