ask patients to sign a document in which they authorize the doctor and his staff to:
1) Take pictures for educational and evidentiary purposes as they may wish.
2) Have access to your medical records for research without revealing your identity.

I am disappointed with the new surgeon that I just saw last thursday. I had read from patient reviews that he was so compassionate and understanding. I thought that in an effort to let him know that he needs to be sensitive with me, I ought to be very specific about my tendency to dissociate when I am not told what is happening and what he will do next. Just not use psychotherapeutic terminology I said that I later experience my self to be a being from another planet.

Once we started discussing the recommeded treatment, he said, "You didn't have one of your alien experiences, did you?" ( Due to CSA among other forms of abuse that I suffered from, I never had the opportunity to interact with my peers in order to compare my experience at home. Mom talked about other moms and my peers with an "us versus them" perspective. Also, as a result of all the psychological, emotional and physical pain, I lost touch with reality. I escaped into sci-fi movies and TV series and confused fantasy with reality. That's when I noticed that two different selves existed within me. It is still difficult for me to relate to other people without feeling "strange." I also experience recurring confusion about my sexual orientation.)

At the end of the discussion, he remarked, "Next time, don't wait 30 years to see a gynecologist." (I was misled by mom to believe that only women who are sexually active need to see a gynecologist. After I discovered this inner tissue hanging out from my vagina, fear motivated me to make my 1st appointment with a gynecologist. The reactions of the 2 previous gynecologists that I have seen, have intensified feelings of shame and of feeling strange. They usually see women who have already been pregnant, are sexually active and have been to the gynecologist countless times. So there I am...this being who just landed from Mars or wherever...)

I love the feeling of safety here at Psychcentral. It feels reassuring to be part of this community. Any words of support will be much appreciated.

[lynn P.]

I'm sorry your experience was unpleasant. Sometimes a doctor will ask for this permission, BUT you don't have to consent and he still has to treat you. I wouldn't agree to this. Did you sign it?

I also think he seemed insensitive by referring to your dissociation as an 'alien experience'. I guess even though some doctors are smart it doesn't always make them sensitve to others needs.

Yes it is important for all women to get regular gynecology examinations even if they're not sexually active. It's unfortunate you weren't told that when you were growing up but that's not your fault. I hope they fixed your problem - it sounds like some of your internal areas ended up through gravity, falling out and this happens sometimes. Hey we're all different and not everyone knows the perfect rules in life, so don't feel shame.

Maybe after you're completely healed, you can look for a female gynocologist and explain your circumstances - hopefully she would be more sensitive. Don't let this discourage you from getting regular exams in the future.

Thank you Lynn P. for replying to my thread.

I did sign it, but later I wrote "No" and initialed the first item after I talked with the woman that schedules the surgeries. I am preparing to go back and ask her if the doctor will refuse me medical care if I also reject the second item. I have not signed up for the surgery (D&C plus hysteroscopic polypectomy) yet.

Yeah, I agree. Outstanding surgical skills don't always go together with sensitivity.

That's what I thought too when I saw the hanging tissue : something to do with gravity. I googled and youtubed what I suspected : endometrioisis then prolapse. Thankfully, I am dealing with two large endocervical polyps.

I feel very apprehensive to go through with the surgery with this surgeon. Whenever there is a conflict of interests like this, I sense that I cannot trust a doctor. He might be all over the media, but that doesn't necessarily means that he's really all that great.

[Caretaker Leo]

The only place I've been in my life where I was given that kind of document was at a University Health Clinic. I totally understood that they would want information for further research that could help someone else.

But, I have never been given a document like that once I was out of school. I do think you have every right to decide to opt out and they will still treat you.

[googley]

hi psychee,
The doctor should not treat you any differently because you have said 'no'. That is part of informed consent. That you can say 'no' and it will not effect the treatment you receive. One of my doctors asked once if he could take a picture of a rash because it was a perfect representation of that type of rash an he was writing a book. I told him he could as long as I could see the picture. He took the picture and then showed it to me. There was no indication that it was me. So I told him he could use it. But I think my doctor would have been totally fine if I had said 'no'. There was one time there was a student doctor working at my health clinic and the doctor asked me if she could watch my pap test. I said 'no' and they were totally okay with that.

I'm sure your doctor is the same way. You are not the only person who would have told him 'no'. Doctors and researchers know this.

Originally Posted by Caretaker Leo

The only place I've been in my life where I was given that kind of document was at a University Health Clinic. I totally understood that they would want information for further research that could help someone else.

But, I have never been given a document like that once I was out of school. I do think you have every right to decide to opt out and they will still treat you.

Thanks Caretaker Leo. I spoke with the Surgery Scheduling woman, and she encouraged me to decline to both by signing my initials and writting out NO. She informed me that he's a professor at a University Medical School and that he's still researching and teaching medical students. What bothered me about talking to her is her self-righteous attitude. She doesn't know what dissociation is. She asked me if I had prayed to God to heal me.

Originally Posted by googley

hi psychee,
The doctor should not treat you any differently because you have said 'no'. That is part of informed consent. That you can say 'no' and it will not effect the treatment you receive. One of my doctors asked once if he could take a picture of a rash because it was a perfect representation of that type of rash an he was writing a book. I told him he could as long as I could see the picture. He took the picture and then showed it to me. There was no indication that it was me. So I told him he could use it. But I think my doctor would have been totally fine if I had said 'no'. There was one time there was a student doctor working at my health clinic and the doctor asked me if she could watch my pap test. I said 'no' and they were totally okay with that.

I'm sure your doctor is the same way. You are not the only person who would have told him 'no'. Doctors and researchers know this.

Hi googley,
That makes me feel relief in that respect.
However, after talking with the surgery scheduling woman, I fear that the doctor might take revenge on me in the surgery room. ( How realistic is this?) She's self-righteous and ignorant of what dissociation is ("Have you prayed to God to heal you,?" she asked me). The doctor's comments make it difficult for me to trust him.

[mgran]

Just because a man is well qualified, experienced and well meaning does not mean that he always knows the right thing to say. It seems that this particular doctor, without meaning to be disrespectful, put a big boot in his mouth... perhaps he was trying to be jocular about it, in order to reduce his own anxiety, he may never have met anyone with your condition before. But whatever the cause, he came across as crass and insensitive. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Also, many of us were told by our mothers that only sexually active women needed to bother with gyno exams. My mother believed that, so did hers... they also believed that since they'd been faithful to their husbands, and they had been faithful to them there was no need for their "parts" to be examined. Imagine how that made people in their culture feel when they actually did go to the doctors! "You only go to see the gynocologist if you or your husband is a slut." I'm glad things have improved since then.
It doesn't help you though, now that you realise this was a mistaken prejudice, the fact is you lived by the advice your mother gave you, meaning nothing but good for you. To have that experience joked at is hurtful.
I do think men wouldn't get how painful this is for us, and that a female gyno specialist is better, if you can find one. I'm really sorry you had such a bad time, and hope you're beginning to feel better soon.

Originally Posted by mgran

Just because a man is well qualified, experienced and well meaning does not mean that he always knows the right thing to say. It seems that this particular doctor, without meaning to be disrespectful, put a big boot in his mouth... perhaps he was trying to be jocular about it, in order to reduce his own anxiety, he may never have met anyone with your condition before. But whatever the cause, he came across as crass and insensitive. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Also, many of us were told by our mothers that only sexually active women needed to bother with gyno exams. My mother believed that, so did hers... they also believed that since they'd been faithful to their husbands, and they had been faithful to them there was no need for their "parts" to be examined. Imagine how that made people in their culture feel when they actually did go to the doctors! "You only go to see the gynocologist if you or your husband is a slut." I'm glad things have improved since then.
It doesn't help you though, now that you realise this was a mistaken prejudice, the fact is you lived by the advice your mother gave you, meaning nothing but good for you. To have that experience joked at is hurtful.
I do think men wouldn't get how painful this is for us, and that a female gyno specialist is better, if you can find one. I'm really sorry you had such a bad time, and hope you're beginning to feel better soon.

Thank you mgran for your compassionate words. I feel understood by you since we've had similar experiences with our mothers' well-intentioned but misguided advice.

I just talked with the Surgery Scheduler woman. I walked out of there fuming. She too does not know how distressful is to experience dissociation. Also, she minimized the impact of his comments. I may try talking to the office manager. I hope it is not a requirement to share the same religious beliefs that they have in order to get good health care.

[googley]

Originally Posted by psychee

Hi googley,
That makes me feel relief in that respect.
However, after talking with the surgery scheduling woman, I fear that the doctor might take revenge on me in the surgery room. ( How realistic is this?) She's self-righteous and ignorant of what dissociation is ("Have you prayed to God to heal you,?" she asked me). The doctor's comments make it difficult for me to trust him.

Sorry psychee, I did read your post once and then come back later to reply. I would not feel comfortable with his comments either. I was just responding to the research/education stuff. Sorry I wasn't clear about that.

I don't think the doctor would take revenge. They get turned down for this type of thing all the time. But the comments would make me not want to see him again.

As to the scheduler, if he works at an institution of any kind, he (almost 100%) has no say in who the surgery scheduler is. Her comment was totally inappropriate. I'm sorry you have had such a bad interaction with this treatment facility. I would look for someone else, however, if you still get the surgery done at that hospital, you might have to deal with that scheduler again. Yuck.

((((Psychee))))))

Originally Posted by googley

Sorry psychee, I did read your post once and then come back later to reply. I would not feel comfortable with his comments either. I was just responding to the research/education stuff. Sorry I wasn't clear about that.

I don't think the doctor would take revenge. They get turned down for this type of thing all the time. But the comments would make me not want to see him again.

As to the scheduler, if he works at an institution of any kind, he (almost 100%) has no say in who the surgery scheduler is. Her comment was totally inappropriate. I'm sorry you have had such a bad interaction with this treatment facility. I would look for someone else, however, if you still get the surgery done at that hospital, you might have to deal with that scheduler again. Yuck.

((((Psychee))))))

((((((Googley))))))

Your response about the research/education stuff was very helpful to me. You did not say anything that upset me. It was actually quite clear.

Perhaps my frustration showed because my attempt to clarify the consent form with the woman scheduler didn't go well. There was a point in which I could have put and end to that conversation. Once she answered my questions, all I had to do was get out of there. She started confiding in me about her personal struggles with other doctors and comparing my problems with hers. There was no need for me to justify to her my doubts about the doctor's trustworthiness. I sense that her intention was to get me to schedule the surgery with this doctor no matter what I said.

Maybe, my fear is getting the best of me with the worst case scenario of revenge.

Yeah, the scheduler has this yuck factor going for herself. If I find a surgeon with both good surgical skills and good bedside manners elsewhere, I wont have to deal with her again.

Now that I have had time to ponder what the Surgery Scheduler woman told me about those two worrisome items, it doesn't make sense to me.

If the doctor is interested in including in his research and in his teaching materials unusual cases of a particular health condition; and if this is true as she says that it is, why ask every patient to sign a document in which they're asked to give up their right to privacy and confidentiality?

Would this raise a red flag for you?

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by psychee

I spoke with the Surgery Scheduling woman... She doesn't know what dissociation is. She asked me if I had prayed to God to heal me.

I once had a nurse comment that she thought I had throat cancer. I have a low voice, and she confidently diagnosed me!

That was decades ago, and I am still alive...

Originally Posted by pachyderm

I once had a nurse comment that she thought I had throat cancer. I have a low voice, and she confidently diagnosed me!

That was decades ago, and I am still alive...

Oh my.
The silly things ignorant people say. Throat cancer just by listening to your voice?