i think somethings wrong with me. . .

whenever I see my bf or men looking movies with lot of nudity or magazines. It makes me depressed, upset and I start feeling weird, like angry.

I then usually just walk out of the room as I'm just so upset. My bf says its normal. But the question if he would like me watching movies where men keeps apaering naked, he responds quickly with a no!

Bit unfair. Why does he enjoy looking at other woman. Am I not good enough???

First, it is very normal to feel this way. Many women feel this way! Some feel it strongly and others not much, and some don't care. But deep, deep down inside a woman is a survival instinct. It is our job (within the species) to attract the best man we can find, and have a child with him. This is very deeply within us all, although, some feel it more than others.

But this makes women very, very competitive. It is our survival. As a cave-woman, we are smaller and we need to have a man to do the bigger work. He needs to protect us and our child. But, I guess as a joke of evolution, the cave-man's job is to spread his seeds around to the females, and not just one. But, he is also programmed to want to protect his females from other males, because the females he's chosen he feels are worth baring his children. So again, the women are very, very competitive. And the men are very, very protective.

In fact, recent studies show that some women are actually programmed to go after men who are "taken" because they have proven qualities for this survival. And other studies show that some men have less of this drive to seek out other women. So, we all have these codes but in different ways.

I don't know what music you listen to, but that Rhianna song "I want you to make me feel like I"m the only girl in the world...." That is the core of this drive.

This is what I've come down to in my marriage. I am insecure. I think I'm hideously ugly, terrible person. This is me. I know this about myself. My husband isn't a huge porn person. But, at first I got really jealous. Then I realized, he's just looking, it has nothing to do with me. These girls are "imaginary" in that he will never meet them or take them to dinner or have sex. He's just looking. So, I have become okay with that.

But, if it is a girl he knows and talks to in any way (online or in real life,) then that is not okay, not at all, not even a little bit. That is the difference.

That really is my problem. I feel insecure. He cheated on his ex and lied to me about other girls and so whenever I go away from him. I get so stressed and without noticing I coz tension that leads to fights all becoz of my in securities. Thank you for your msg Dark heart.

Ah ha, well, it makes sense you are so insecure knowing his past. I would be, too.

Trust is very important in a relationship. This is something you need to work on as a couple, and he needs to understand why you feel this way. At the same time, constantly being accusational isn't healthy for either of you. I don't know your situation or if he has done anything to change. This is a bigger concern than watching porn, really.

If he is lying and hiding girls from you that is a big red flag.

I'm uncomfortable with pornography, I think it degrades women and sets up unrealistic fantasies in men's minds. I don't think it's healthy either way. When my husband and I started dating I made it very clear that I wasn't OK with it and that it would not be tolerated in my home. To me it's cheating, looking at another naked woman and lusting after her is just not OK with me.

I don't think there is anything wrong with you, you're entitled to feel what you feel. If I were you I would really address it with your bf and decide for yourself if it's a deal breaker or if it's something you are OK with putting up with for as long as you are together. He gets to make his own decision about whether to stop and you get to decide whether to stay in the relationship or not based on what he decides.