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#1
Feb 29, 2012, 05:48 PM
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I am 25.As a matter of fact I am not ready to have kids phisically but want to have much.I am healthy I just can't imagine chlid birth process.I know it is very painful.my fear is so extreme that I can't fight it that's why I don't marry and have kids.Is it normal?does anyone have the same problem?When I go to the shops and see baby clothes MY HEART BEATS SO FAST ALSO WHEN I DON'T REMEMBER THAT i WANNA HAVE A BABY. wHAT IS GOING WITH ME i REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND .I'VE NEVER FELT THIS BEFORE.
CAN SOMEONE HELP ME WITH ADVIC PLEASE !! MY MIND AND HEART SAY YES AND BODY NOOO. IT IS LIKE SMTH I CAN'T CONTROL.CAN'T ALSO WATCH FILMS WHERE I SEE NEWBORNS. DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. |
 JLarissaDragon
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#2
Feb 29, 2012, 05:56 PM
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Can I feel this way because of hard childhood?So why other girls with the same family story have babies in 20 or earlier but I am not ready in 25.I am too big to feel that way.this means smth is wrong with me .
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#3
Feb 29, 2012, 05:59 PM
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Hun it's natural to want a baby, just as it is natural for those who doesn't want one.
Look, I don't know where your fear stems from as the only people I know who are genuinly afraid are those pregnant for the 1st time, and idk your situation, so at the risk of sounding a bit unsupportive, I've been there... Had my daughter at 19, and it was the single most beautiful experience of my life. Labour was long but not bad or really hard at all. The birth was a bit difficult,as I was exhausted by then, but really not unbearable. It was all natural,with zero complications. Like I said, idk you or your story, but don't let fear rob you of ANYTHING 
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#4
Feb 29, 2012, 06:00 PM
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the point is not that I wanna live like others.never. I just wanna be normal and live how I want.t
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#5
Feb 29, 2012, 06:04 PM
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Quote:
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#6
Feb 29, 2012, 06:15 PM
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Then hun, I suggest you find a T who can help you identify the root of your fear. Wish I could be of more help...
Good luck
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#7
Feb 29, 2012, 06:30 PM
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I am not hun Trippin.
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#8
Feb 29, 2012, 07:02 PM
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Oops. My sincerest apologies.
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#9
Mar 28, 2012, 05:43 PM
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I think it is natural to be afraid of it to an extent. And it's quite ok to wait until all parts of you are ready to get married and have kids if that's the path you choose. You can also get married and not have kids. Just take it one step at a time. If, as you say, you think your fear will lead you to miss out on opportunities that you want, I agree with trippin, talking to a counselor or therapist may help handle the fear.
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#10
Mar 28, 2012, 10:32 PM
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It is entirely natural for you to want to have a baby. As women we are wired that way and totally normal. There are some things that while normal are scary nevertheless. Sex itself can be scary at first for example. It can hurt and be awkward but as we are experienced we become comfortable and many women learn to love it. Having a baby is painful and pregnancy itself can be a difficult for many women. Yet the joy that comes when you hold your baby and nurse her far outweighs the pain that you experienced giving birth. Being a mother is one of the greatest experiences of your life and it is amazing how quickly you forget the pain. Child bearing is the most natural thing in the world -- we have been getting pregnant and having babies since the beginning of human beings. I would not advise you to have a baby until you are ready for it. When you are ready, even though it is painful, the joy and love you feel toward your new born baby far surpasses the pain that you had to endure to get there.
Having babies is not a requirement in life. You are still an ok person even if you do not become a mother. Neither is it something to fear when you are ready. If this is something that you want and it is only the fear of pain that is in the way, that is something that you can work through. I also agree that talking with an understanding counselor would be a good idea Hugs -- I wish you well |
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