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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: NM
Posts: 1,455
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#1
Does anyone else suffer from painful intercourse and have doctor's tell you there is nothing they can do about it?
Feeling kinda alone. __________________ God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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shezbut
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Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2012
Location: Northeast US
Posts: 1,014
12 242 hugs
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#2
Yea, I have always had a problem with being too small. The doc suggested a lot of foreplay and stuf to ensure that I'm ready. Otherwise if you aren't ready, physically, it can hurt and cause pain.
Do u have an understanding partner that can help you explore a little bit? |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Apr 2012
Posts: 617
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#3
Sore on tv something similar. This young lady found sex very painful almost like getting friction burn; it also hurt to be touch in certain areas. She'd been told it was in her head, but went on this tv show to get a second opinion. She saw a lady gyno and turned out she did have a problem that needed some creams and some botox too; something to do with stopping her tense up because she expected pain, making it worse. There are 2 other possibilities, if your using condoms maybe your allergic to latex (like myself) or i also heard some women can be sensitive/allergic to the proteins in male cum. I'd definately ask for a 2nd opinion good luck
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shezbut
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Grand Member
Member Since Oct 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 898
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#4
Getting a second opinion is probably a good idea. The other issue is whether or not you are adequately aroused. As women it takes awhile sometimes, but the foreplay is absolutely essential. Mostly it is important to relax and take things slow and easy. If you are really dry lubricants can usually help. The vagina is capable of expanding enough to allow a baby to pass through. so I suspect it can handle almost any size penis, given enough time. Sex with the one you love is an awesome experience, but it is essential that you have a trusting and loving relationship. Fortunately my husband is patient and very concerned about making it good for me as well as for him. Outside of a committed relationship as in marriage it can be pretty traumatic at the worst and not very fulfilling at best
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Jan1212, shezbut
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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#5
I've had that trouble in the past, and my doctor said to use lubricants, which you can purchase at any pharmacy. In fact it even increased the arousal for me, so I killed 2 birds with one stone! LOL
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Poohbah
Member Since May 2008
Location: East Coast, USA
Posts: 1,293
16 633 hugs
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#6
Sex has always been painful for me. My last doctor told me that I should get a vibrator or a dilator. She also said if I ever get money/health insurance, I could look into women's health physical therapy. She thought I might have really tight pelvic floor muscles. High muscle tension, or something...
Anyways, sex is still painful. My husband is extremely patient and loving, and I'm very lucky to have him. I just wish he didn't feel so bad about it! It has gotten a little better with a vibrator, but hopefully one day I'll get to do the physical therapy... You're not alone. |
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2004
Location: NM
Posts: 1,455
19 83 hugs
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#7
I've had two nurses, two different regular doctors check me out, and one gyno specialist. I've had a child through vaginal birth (and although I'm still relatively small it's able to expand quite nicely), I've tried different lubes (so far the thick jelly kind works the best), dilators helped in the very beginning when part of the pain was from insertion just due to being small and a virgin. Condoms don't seem to make a difference (other than lengthening the time it takes my hubby to cum thus more pain). Therapy has taught me to relax the muscles down there, but that and readiness seem to make no difference. The gyno specialist I saw doesn't believe in resorting to botox or other extreme methods for pain relief. I thought about asking for topical pain reliever but that till doen't solve the problem of the pain afterwards. Normally I try to take a pain reliever before sex or I have some sleeping pills that relax and numb me so I won't feel it, but that tends to just mean he can be a little rougher in the moment. It still hurts for two or three days after the fact and I almost always need m=something to help me sleep after sex because it hurts so much. I can last about ten minutes of active sex, but after that it gets so bad I want to cry. My husband is very patient and understanding, but it's hard because I don't want him to feel guilty and see how much pain I'm really in (he does know, but I've only let him see me cry a few time afterwards). I've seen a few shows on tv where women have had the same problem and some of them have resorted to surgery, but non have had positive outcomes. Supposedly, this can happen once, or last for months or years and then just randomly go away, or never go away. I've accepted this has been the hand I'm dealt, but that doesn't make it suck any less or make me feel less broken. The pain is usually like really bad rub burn and occassionally sharp. The specialist managed to locate where it hurt the most and ran some tests (I did end up having bv at the time but antibiotics cleared that up and it didn't help). Even looking at and feeling the area she could see no reason why it would be more painful, no tightness, and it's not even in an area that's tight, like the opening, where there is a reason for it to hurt. It's a major difference between that pain and the pain I have if I'm not ready or don't have enough lube. I just feel like I've run out of reasonable options.
__________________ God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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doggiedo, JLarissaDragon, RomanSunburn
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Junior Member
Member Since Jun 2012
Posts: 10
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#8
The most important thing is good communication with the partner. Talking about the desires and introducing some changes to the sexual routine until a pleasurable position is found are good ways to work on this problem. In other cases, this issue will need to be dealt with with medications.
__________________ With the UV-Blocker beach umbrella strapped over my shoulder, I’m able to go to the beach on weekends with my family. |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2011
Location: California
Posts: 540
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#9
I have a friend who has really bad endometriosis and find sex very painful, she and her husband just do a lot of oral and don't have intercourse very often. If it is that painful but your husband still enjoys the intercourse try getting him very close before insertion, use lots of lube, and that way he will come quickly.
__________________ Bipolar Disorder I, PTSD, GAD When it is darkest, we can see the stars. –Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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