Fertilization

My parents said no major life changes until I am back on zyprexa and leveled, but this is something I have been thinking of doing since I was 14. I've never wanted children. It's not for me. I can't go through childbirth, and there's no part in the life cycle that I've wanted to experience with a child. I've never had a desire for caring for a child. People say that you'll change your mind when you're older, but even if I did, I would rather adopt than to have my own child because not only do I not want to experience childbirth, I do not want to pass on my bipolar or any other bad gene I carry. Plus, there are so many children out there who need parents, I'd be happy adopting, there's no demand for it to be biological.

Another reason why I want sterilization is because I'm scared to have sex because I'm afraid of being pregnant. I don't feel comfortable having sex if it means there's a chance of getting pregnant. Abortion would be my only option, but that would mean I would have to live with that decision of "killing my baby" and that it would always be a dirty secret, not to mention a serious let down to my parents who are hoping for me to make them grandparents.

I'm not sure how to bring this up to my ob/gyn or my parents, especially since I'm not supposed to be making any big life decisions right now.

I think you mean sterilization? You probably have to wait until you're 21 anyway. and state of the art might make it reversible soon, so it won't be such a big deal. But have you looked into implanted birth control? Sorry, I'm not up on what's current, but I think it's reliable if you use it.

Well that's embarrassing -_-

It's definitely something to talk to ur doc about. A lot of docs won't do it until ur mid 20's but that's not the case with all of them. And it seems u have a lagitament reason so they will be more supportive. But u won't know until u ask.

Yeah you probably have to get past the freudian slip part before they'll do it. Otoh, with gene technology advancing the way it is, fertilization may end up being your ultimate solution. So you may be right on. My mother told me that my old italian grandmother even told her (over 60 years ago), gee I dunno what kind of kids you two depressed people are gonna have. But from what I've seen on here, I believe you have an indomitable spirit.