What's the worst part about being single? How do you cope being alone.

To any of you single women on here, here are a few of mine. I'd like to hear from others:

sleeping alone

eating alone ( I love to cook, but sometimes I don't want to for just me)

not having anyone to come home to, no one there to talk to if you need someone. Married people have someone 24/7, but even single people need someone to talk to too.

no affection( giving or receiving, no intimacy) I'm a very affectionate person, so this one hurts.

I'm quite happy single. I don't make a big fuss over "oh, poor me. I'm so alone".

Worst part would be the lack of friendship. I don't have many friends and no one I can share how my day went and how I feel.

The worst part of being a single woman is weed eating and handy man stuff. I'm okay hiring yard work but I am paranoid about letting people in my house to fix stuff.

OUCH! My feminist sensibilities have just been smacked! There's nothing wrong with being single. I'm not right now, but I love the single life, the freedom!

I don't do yard work and "handy man stuff," but I hate that we still see that as a man's role. We're women and we deserve equality. That means we've got to be able to so some stereotypical men's stuff (or hire someone to do it--and you can hire a woman to do it, if there are any in your area). I'm not saying hire a woman over a man, I just want to encourage women to find their own strengths.

Not having anyone to talk about my feeling, my weird imagination or just about my day in general and someone to fight/argue or someone i can annoy when iam bored/hyper, its always nice to have someone to talk to about everything or ask and listening about my day

As long as people aren't asking me if i'm all right, i am alright.

the worst thing for me being alone is not having anyone to reach things which have been put out of my reach by part time carers

the next is i really miss having a warm chest to snuggle against for a hug. a hot water bottle inside a teddy just doesn't hit the mark!

then there is not having anyone to talk to, to share good times with, to bounce ideas off, to reassure me that what i am planning is the right thing to do etc.

how do i cope... good question, i think things through thoroughly before deciding on anything, i have a couple of male friends who are great at giving hugs when i ask for one, and i have learnt to ask for help/advice when needed. if all else fails i rid my frustrations in poetry

Are you newly single, and is that why you aren't comfortable with it? I know I was married and with my husband for 10 years and when I was first divorced I was incredibly miserable, for the exact reasons you stated.

Finally, after 3 years, and after dating here and there...I am finally happy with where I am right now. I have my hobbies, my dog, and I have found out how to relax and process my day on my own. I walk my dog right after I get home and that's a stress reliever for me...and really sets the tone for a relaxing evening.

Anyhow, I know what you mean though. My parents have been married for over 40 years and I think my mom truly believes I am lonely (or she would be lonely if she were me), but I'm not. I do have my moments but still. Overall, I'm happy doing my own thing.

And by the way, I LOVE gardening and yard work- I actually go to my parents on the weekend to visit just so I can get in my outdoor time

i been single for almost 10 years since my partner passed away, i still miss a warm muscular chest to snuggle into for a hug now and then.
time makes little diference in what you miss about having a partner around. that said i really do not miss being kept awake by his snoring or the toe nails in the bath, or the mess he used to make, so being single not only has a doiwn side it has an up side too.

[quote=Deborah35;3043239]To any of you single women on here, here are a few of mine. I'd like to hear from others:

sleeping alone - get a heated underblanket and a hugable size teddy

eating alone ( I love to cook, but sometimes I don't want to for just me) - yeah this sucks but i tend to cook 4 pieces of chicken in individual pots with different 'addatives' ( like garlic and mushroom or mixed herbs or chinese seasoning etc) all in the oven at the same time, then have one that night and reheat the others as i want them in the microwave so i do not spend hours in the kitchen every night. oh another way is if you have a single friend close by try having a me then you schedule where you cook for both of you one time then you friend does the cooking the next time.

not having anyone to come home to, no one there to talk to if you need someone. Married people have someone 24/7, but even single people need someone to talk to too. - when my partner had just passed away, i hated and i mean really hated going home especially into the living room because his favourite chair looked and was so empty, so i bought a 4ft teddy and sat it in the chair, suddenly the room did not feel empty anymore, he sat ther for a few years until i finally felt ok and strong enough to relegate him to the spare bedroom. I may be sad but i still talk to my teddy or my gerbils, though sometimes you do still need a human to respond or give a different perspective and that is where this site comes in useful. talking to yourself is not that bad, at least you know you are listening, understand what you are going on about and give the answers you want to hear too!

no affection( giving or receiving, no intimacy) I'm a very affectionate person, so this one hurts. - two options hug a teddy or get a dog!

Doggiedo,

I guess to each his own.

I have a cat, but realistically, I'd prefer an actual human being to snuggle with. The other thing is I don't know anything really about cars, so if something goes wrong, I don't have someone to help me out. Of course that's not the only reason to want a man is to fix things.

I have a neighbor next to me, but all he does is brag on what food he has in his refrigerator/freezer, or what meat deal he got at the grocery store. Not kidding here.

He keeps saying he wants to have me over for a meal, but it hasn't happened yet, and this is 3 and 1/2 years later. I'd offer to have him over, but I can't get him to come over for nothing, and he lives right in the next apt building than me.

Well, there's always the boyfriend pillow as a last resort, just kidding. Supposedly, it's supposed to feel like a real man when you snuggle up to it.

Maven, thanks for your comment about feminist sensibilities. I ENJOY doing "male" things like fixing things, working in the yard etc. OK, maybe I don't enjoy all of it. Two days spent with no water while I tried to fix the pump for my well was no dang fun. BUT, I've always enjoyed working outside.

Deborah35, I've been single for almost 13 years since my husband was killed. For the most part I enjoy it. I like the freedom of coming and going when I want. I have a high stress job that entails working with people all day. I absolutely love driving up to my front gate at night and knowing I don't have to deal with another human being until the next day. Of the things you specifically mentioned...

-sleeping alone- oh the glory of not having to share the bed anymore! I can sprawl in the middle of the bed if I want. My husband was a bed hog. I frequently spent the night trying to sleep balanced on a thin sliver of the edge of the bed. NO MORE! Ok, every once in awhile I miss having a warm body to snuggle up against in the night. I have a stuffed cat plus four real cats who sleep with me. Not quite the same, but close.

- eating alone - is one of the perks of being single as far as I'm concerned. I can eat what I want, when I want. If I want a bowl of cold cereal for dinner ain't no one to fuss at me about it. I do understand about not wanting to cook for one person some nights. And I do like to cook - sometimes. I have a couple of solutions. I'll spend some time cooking on Sunday and make enough to eat during the week. I eat healthy frozen dinners. and I eat out a couple of times a week.

- not having someone to come home to - this is a mixed bag for me, but primarily one of the things I like about being single. Like I said above. I love not having to deal with another human being until the next day. When I have had a bad day and need to talk to someone about it, I have some good friends I can call and talk to or I come to PC.

lack of affection - maybe the fact my husband was abusive makes me kind of jaded about this. Having another person in the house does not mean I will receive affection. I am happier now coming home to no one than I was coming home to someone who either ignored me or hurt me. Being in a relationship does not guarantee that the other person will be there for us or support us or treat us with affection.

I tell people. I was my parents' daughter for 23 years. Then I was married for 23 years. I'm going to try out being single for 23, then I figure out what comes next!

When I was single back in the day, the worst part of being single was being single There was so much pressure. Thankfully, after awhile, my parents and parents' circle finally gave up on me . I was engaged twice but not married so to them, the relationships didnt count. (Nice huh?)

And thankfully, I got to a point of acceptance and stopped comparing my life to others' .... which helped a lot!

At times, though, I miss the intimacy and companionship, having someone on the other side of the bed, having *** on a very regular basis (fun!), sharing things, esp if we have the same sense of humor! and simply having "guy stuff" around (I like "dude" things around - in contrast with my girly stuff).

I have been in long-term, wonderful, loving relationships, so I have an idea of what I am looking for. If it's not there, I won't drag it out simply to have someone in my life. It isnt fair to him or me.

Generally, though, I would rather be alone and single with Krazee Kitteh than with someone that I am not comfortable and happy being around.

(I agree about learning to do some of the traditional guy things. I learned and can do it. But I much prefer to have some help).

I like being single but i miss the warm snuggly chest and the sound of a deep voice when I wake up. Many parts of being in a relationship can be replaced but not the sunday breakfast table talk and kisses goodbye in the morning.

Rose, you said it perfectly.

Excellent point Rose!

I'm 25 and I've always been single, I find myself too repulsive to picture myself with someone. And I have little to no trust with men and relationships.
But I'm VERY lonely, and I get incredibly jealous at everyone that's in a relationship because they have someone who wants to be with them and I have nobody. I joke a lot about being a crazy cat lady (as I have a lot of strays around my home and I joke I've used my cat lady powers to lure them as my minions), and I'll say to people quite often that I'm happy being alone and have no interest in/time for a relationship, but that's just a guise for feeling pathetic. I rarely have feelings for a guy, though there was/is one that I can't quite get over. He can be a bit of an *** sometimes, but I can't quite get over him. I try to avoid him on Facebook. Not that he talks to me anymore anyway, haha. But I don't try to talk to him or see anything he's written.
I'd just like someone who is a best friend to me and some company, but I don't ever foresee it happening. So I guess for me the worst part is feeling unwanted, unattractive, and alone. I look at some people in relationships and think 'how the HELL can they find someone and I can't?'.

Evening,

I feel the same way about the people I see that have "someone" and I can't find someone. I feel I have to change everything about me so someone will like me and want to be with me. I know I'm fairly attractive and have alot to offer to the right person, so what's the deal I ask myself. I keep getting asked by people "what's wrong with the men down there", I live in Raleigh, NC". How am I supposed to answer that I say to myself.

It feels like because I'm not a Christian, then it will be hard for me to meet a man, or if I don't look a certain way or because I like hockey, how will I find someone like that. Of course you don't have to have everything in common with someone, as long as it's a few things and you enjoy being with that person.

I know a wonderful man, that I've been friends with for 5 years now, and I know he's the only one I want to be with, we get along real well. Maybe partially it is me, I don't get out enough, but the meetup groups I'm in do al ot of happy hour stuff, bars. I like to do more event stuff, like mini golf.

I can't even get someone to go to mini golf with me or something. I need to find a way or get some help to get out of this "rut" i call it. All this not feeling wanted makes me stressed, and we all know stress leads to other things.

Good stuff here. I was married, then single, now married again. There's a lot of adjustments to be made whether single or not.

When single, I used to buy myself exactly what I wanted for birthdays, holidays, etc, because no one else would; I learned how to fix minor things wrong in the house (a huge difficulty for me); I mowed my own lawn until the mower broke; and, silly me, I used to give a hunky man name to my car!

Advantages of being single: you have absolute control over your space, finances, and what you do and when you do it, without any strings. I agree it's hard when there's no one to talk to at home, but there are many alternatives, especially on psych-central and sometimes people on here listen better than hubby anyway!

I think I will answer this a bit differently... I have most often in the past felt like my life was dictated by trying to make our schedules mesh....which of course usually meant it was ME rushing around to get something done or to be somewhere, and I already have SEVERE anxiety. I have gone out with a few people, and was married to one, who were calming forces, shall I say. And they were a relief.

But its always hard to start dating, even when I can kind of get a sense but not know for sure, if I am about to start seeing a guy who is more like a full-fledged hurricane season again or not. And for me, no thank you.

Otherwise, I miss them scraping snow off of my car, bringing out the trash and the recycling, bringing in the groceries, and switching out lightbulbs. By the way, that list was compiled in my head once I got seperated re: what I missed...I would never give a list like that to some guy I was just dating, ha.

I'm very much the same as you, although without the cats. And the guy I don't think I'll ever get over was never a jerk to me. I don't think he'd dare—he was already very intimidated by me I think. He knew I was aggressive (not towards him of course, but towards the people who picked on him because he was too meek to stand up for himself). I actually miss defending and protecting him, but I think I mostly miss knowing a guy that I actually felt safe around. Or what could have happened if we ever dated...guess I should start enjoying being single as I'll never meet anyone else like him and I don't know how he'd react if I contacted him.

I would also love to have someone to talk to, to have someone I could actually trust, and to have someone help me with housework when I hurt too much to do much.

And to cope? I have stuffed animals—sad, but true. I eat while watching TV and have the TV on a lot just to hear other people's voices.