Attracted to another women and confused

I am 40 years old, married for 16 year and have 2 beautiful children! At work a few months ago a new female started working at my store. Through working with her and chatting and having fun I now find myself attracted to her. I am so confused because NEVER in my life have I EVER been attracted to a female. I really don't know what to do. When I look at her I get butterflies, I find her very addictive.......I need to be around her. She is also heterosexual and she has no clue I have these feelings. Can someone help me? Is this a normal 40 yr old thing? Will it pass? Do tell her? Do I tell my husband?

Hey, Three Olives, and welcome! I think it's generally accepted by many professionals that homosexuality/heterosexuality is not really just an either/or matter. Rather, people can be rated on a continuium (sp), with completely homo on one end and completely hetero on the other. It could be that you are falling somewhat in the middle.

Are you happy with your husband? Are your sexual needs met satisfactorially? If you are not having regular sex with him and/or are spending a lot of time with this woman, then this tendency might show up.

I don't know that it particularly has anything to do with your being in your forties. (Not a mid-life crisis thing, I don't think, anyway.)

My opinion is it would be best not to tell either one of them. Of course, if you find out for sure that she can swing in the homo direction, and you really want to check this out, then that might be another matter. However, be very sure, because you would likely lose your marriage if you choose to experiment and your husband finds out.

You might need to find some way to not spend so much time with this woman, if it's really driving you around the bend. Seeing a therapist might also be helpful for you, IMHO.

I work with her so its difficult not to be around her. It will be two weeks since I've seen her (vacation) and I'm like a little kid at Christmas. I can't wait to get back to see her! It's crazy!!
I think if I would take that step with her if I knew she was willing. However, how do approach that?
My marriage is okay, we battle with some normal issues.

I would not approach her because of the possible employment ramifications. Are you her manager or just a co-worker? Even if just a co-worker, there might be ramifications. Look - women who are attracted to women are in a minority. Plus, even if she gets attracted to women, she might still not be attracted to you. With those two things taken together - since she herself has not shown signs of interest in you yet - the likelihood that she'd be willing is rather small. Hence, the likelihood that your approaching her would create a situation that would be very awkward (since you have to work together) for her. Who knows what she will do? What if she contacts your HR with a complaint?

I do not know the setting - if it a Mom and Pop store without an HR department, then perhaps... but think through the ramifications.

Very true on all parts! Thanks