gyn appt and scared!!!!!

I have an appointment coming up with my gyn next week. And, i'm scared silly. The last time I saw her, I had a self-inflicted cut on my tummy and she wanted to admit me to a psych ward. Didn't happen, but was really scary. This time, my mental state isn't a whole lot better, but is some. I'm bringing a friend with me as well. However, I'm still scared. anyone have any ideas on how I can get through this appointment with my sanity intact?
Toes

Hi-
Are you afraid she may want to admit you again? Once when I went to the GYN, I weighed 83 lbs...He thought I had an eating disorder and was all bent out of shape by this..He was incorrect, I was in a lot of pain and not sleeping...hence my weight lossl I never went back to him.

no. What I'm most scared about is being touched

Hi, I feel the same way about going to the OB/GYN. I don't think there is a woman out there that will tell you she LOVES going to get her hoo-ha dug in... For me I just try and picture somewhere different when I am being examined. I picture a beach or a lake and doing something else completely. This may not work for you but it might. If that doesn't help just express your feelings to the Dr. You could always find a woman physician to see you. That will help immensely. I hope that everything turns out ok for you.

Not sure if this will help or not...but it did help me a little, and I'm terrified of doctors and hate, hate, hate being touched.

Ask to meet with your doctor in their office before going in to the exam room. In the office, tell them you're scared and uncomfortable with being touched. If you can't say it, write it in a note and give them the note. Ask your doctor if, during the exam, they would please talk to you, tell you everything that they are doing, and remind you to keep breathing.

It doesn't make the exam any more pleasant, but I've found that if I can be reminded to keep breathing, and if I know what the doctor is doing before they do it, it's a little more tolerable.

I used to be terrified of the stirrups. The first time I was in there I brought my boyfriend with. I figured if I was going to get a pap smear so we could have sex without me getting knocked up, he was going to hold my hand while I did it. When I got there the nurse wouldn't let him in. I was having an anxiety attack with breathing issues, shaking, and blood pressure so high they kept me for observation after the exam was over, saying it had to decrease or I was going to the ER. When the doc came in and I explained what was going on she was very upset with the nurse and let my boyfriend (now husband) in. It was a huge help having him there holding my hand.

I kept bringing him up until my son was born, about 10 years later. Now he has to watch our kids while I'm in there, but it goes much better. I still dread them, but don't freak out anymore. For me it also helps to have a female, where for my sister she has to have a man. It also has to be a doctor I feel comfortable with, as I've had some terrible ones along the way.

Good luck. I hope it goes not terrible for you (do these ever go well?) and if nothing else, they're in and out quickly.

Of course you'd be scared after this!

Write a note saying that you do not have homicidal or suicidal plans and ask her to enclose the note in your record. Do that before anything else is said or done.

This way she will know that you are educated, mean serious business, and will fight for your rights if need be.

PS

You can add this if this is true, and fax it to her before the appointment:

"I did not like when you tried to admit me to a psych ward last time I saw you. I have been in competent care of mental health professionals and am not at risk. My appointment with you is for a well woman check-up, and I would prefer if you stay within the boundaries of your professional competency as an OB-GYN. If you have concerns about my mental health, I will authorize your taking to my mental health providers before you see me for the check-up, so that you can obtain the reassurance you need and focus on providing the OB-GYN services to me as per your job description. This issue has to be resolved before I see you - if you do not want to talk to my mental health professionals but plan, instead, to take the matter into your own hands and deviate from your call of duty as an OB-GYN and into the mental health field, then I will cancel my appointment and seek care elsewhere. Please confirm receipt and advise me of how you want to handle this matter."

I do not actively LOVE it, but I am completely unperturbed by it.

I think the bigger issue is not the part about being dug into, but the threat of confinement against one's will.

so, I physically survived the appointment. Well, kinda. I'm still in physical pain from the exam that was done yesterday....... emotionally, I'm a wreck, too. I ended up cutting yesterday due to the emotional pain. I felt like the doctor didn't listen to me or my wishes. It was awful. The ONLY good thing that came from the appointment was the knowledge that I don't have to go through the exam or see this doctor for another three years.
Toes

Why three years (=why that long)? How old are you and what sort of sex life are you having?

My general advice to everybody who complains of insensitive OB-GYNS is to stop using them altogether, forever, unless you become pregnant and are facing a HIGH RISK pregnancy. Or, if you are undergoing fertility treatments. These are the only two reasons to actually NEED an OB-GYN. For regular well women care and for prenatal and postnatal care + delivery in low-risk pregnancies, you do not NEED an OB-GYN - a midwife (for pregnancy and well-woman exams) or a nurse-practitioner (for well woman exams) would do just fine and actually, usually, provide a much better care for you. They'd listen to your concerns, they would not be rushed to get you out the door, etc. - the midwives especially are trained to deliver compassionate care to women. That, in general and based on statistics. In your specific case, the fact that you are happy not to see this doctor for another threes years means, quite clearly, that you should fire her and find a better provider.

she said three years is now the standard interval recommended between Pap tests. Since I'm 30, in relatively good health and not active at all, she said I wouldn't need to worry about seeing her for anything unless something changes.
Toes

sure, if 30 and not active, then you can go that long between Pap smears.

CDC - Cervical Cancer Screening

It's not about screening due to sexual activity or inactivity. It's to screen for pre cancerous cells!

They are done, annually. After the age of 21, is the recommendation. HPV after the age of 30.

True healingme4me, but over 90% (I forget the actual figure) of cervical cancer is caused by an STD that has no other symptoms for most people. For that reason if you have been with a single (or less) sexual partner for more than a set amount of years, your cervical cancer screening recommendation drops to every three years. That's why there's a cervical cancer vaccine- it protects you from HPV, the virus that can cause cervical cancer to form. It you've had the same (or none) partner over a long period of time and have not developed cervical cancer, you are at very low risk.

Even if there's 10% without being caused by an STD, I prefer to just go, and get my annuals done. We all have our reasons for doing things, and not doing things. I don't miss now, because I'm high risk for ovarian cancer. I'd like to say, it would have been easy to just not go, due to inactivity, but still, I went during those years.

Just to clear this up, the NHS (uk) will only do a smear every three years, unless you have problems. Where I am it is every year to 18 months.

OP, I hope you can find another doctor. There are some good ones out there!

Im 18. Not sexually active but they want me to start having them for cancer watch and safety and all that. I skipped my physical this year because I hate being touched. I also hate doctors, and have anxiety issues and other problems from abuse. I cant even sleep without a bra on and being fully clothed. I dont ever want one. I am terrified just thinking about it

Seeing a gynocologist is never pleasant. There is only one thing that I want down there and it does not belong to a physician. Yet it is a pretty necessary evil so I just put up with it. It is a lot better to be safe than sorry later