Trust troubles

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years we have lately had no issues with trust he's very loving and caring and I have had no reason not to trust him. I am a very insecure person in general. I found out that in our second year of dating he created a plenty of fish account saying he was single and looking for "fun" he never spoke to my one on this account I believe that. The fact that he made this and I found out later make it hard to trust him anymore especially because he is a very friendly easygoing guy and gets along with girls more so than guys. Deep down I know I trust him bit with so many social media outlets I feel as though there could be girls that he is talking to that I don't know about and that something like this could happen again... How do we rebuild our trust....?

Hi NR77
that must have certainly been a blow to your trust to find out he had created an online dating account, even if he didn't use it. what would cause him to do such a thing or prevent him from doing so again? and being insecure it will be hard to gain his trust back. it would depend on how genuine he is to you in his words and actions from here on out as to whether you could trust him again. Welcome to Psych Central. You will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. You will get a lot of support here. Again, welcome.

I had this issue with an ex. I never expected it. If he is saying he is single on a dating website looking for fun, don't be surprised if he has done this on multiple social networking sites. It's a huge issue and destroys trust instantly. I confronted my ex, not by screaming or making accusations, but by simply bringing up that fact that he has this site. He told me nothing was going on and yada yada yada. Trust was never fully rebuilt. I couldn't get over it easily and later found out there were similar instances with him. Now, your relationship is not mine, but I 'm just letting you know of possible similarities. You'll have to both come up with a solution to put your mind at ease without him feeling that his privacy is invaded. You two will need to communicate a lot on this issue. Make sure you pay close attention to his reactions and what he is willing to do to remedy the situation. Don't be demanding or unreasonable though. Trust is a two way street. Make sure he is earning your trust. Don't think YOU'RE the one with the problem and should just trust him 100% after this. You can contact me if you need someone to talk to about this situation, if you wish. I hope you figure out what the best course of action is.

Getting along better with women, and having an active dating account while supposedly mutually exclusive are two different things.

Even when insecurities arise, its' also important to not invade privacy, not sure if that's how you found out, or if he came clean. And I'm not going to judge here, it happens, right or wrong, it happens.

It's just, that it's more important to be able to sit down and articulate concerns, vulnerabilities, et al, before actually taking such a path. And to articulate, it's real important to understand what needs are and aren't being met in the relationship, that leave one feeling insecure about things. And sometimes, insecurities come from within, so it's important to be able to differentiate between them.

If needs are being met, then it's where trust builds and forms.

I think trust is the basic between lovers or friends.