How did you meet your boyfriend (or gf if applicable)?

Hi everyone,

I've never actually been in a relationship. I'm 22. I fell in love with my male best friend when I was 18. He was like my pseudo-boyfriend until the age of 21. He was really controlling. He always rejected me... but in the second year of our "relationship" (not sure what else to call it, it was waaay more intense than a friendship) I found out I was just too female for him. It turns out he's gay!! After finding that out, I understood him so much more. And we became closer. that is.. until I became almost closer to his cousin than he was.. and he decided to just tell me I "betrayed" him and we stopped talking altogether. Honestly, I'm better off for it ending because it was too emotionally draining and controlling and just.. bad.

However, I feel like I wasted almost the best part of my university years on the dating scene. Going out with people. Trying new things.

I've graduated and now I'm living back at my parents away from the city. I have a job, but i work with people who are all 40+ and professionals.

I'm 22. I used to smoke weed quite a bit, but have since stopped using so much.
I know this is a weird follow-up to that last statement, but I'm also pretty smart... so it's challenging trying to find people my age who enjoy intellectual stuff like I do. Or who at least can be philosophical or quirky and think out of the box without thinking it's too "weird". I think that's why I had enjoyed finding a circle of friends who liked smoking weed too. All that kind of talk was acceptable around there. Although I'm not sure if we were able to pay attention and engage to all of the talk that was said lol. I also had a "friend with benefits" relationship with one of the guys in my circle. We both knew that wasn't going to go anywhere. We only saw each other a couple of times. Other than that, we hung out with everyone in our group casually. Now I don't talk to those ppl anymore.

And.
Now here I am.

I'm still young. I want to meet more people. It would be nice if I could possibly find a relationship too. Where did you guys meet your significant others?

Hi,

Well mine is a long story. Will try and keep it short. Basically my father was a glasser and I went to meet him at the bar he was working on one day, met the owner of the bar and got a job at said bar. I was very wild and had a terrible fall out with my father so my boss, the owner of the bar, suggested I rent one of his rooms above his bar. So I did. I then went on to meet this American guy called Lance. Lance and I were good friends....friends with benefits actually and then he introduced me to this guy. So I really liked this guy but thought nothing of it cause he was Lance's friend. I was friends with benefits with Lance for a month but then he died Don't wanna say what from but he did anyway. Around the same time my boss kicked me out of the rented room which is when Lances friend offered me a place to live. So I went to live with him who then became a friend with benefits. Anyway we were both wild party animals and partied together for around 6 months when I realised I had fallen for him. We then went exclusive and have been together for 14 years. So we met through terrible circumstances and tragedy but we were obviously meant to be. There is sooo much more to this story which I wont go into.

Not quite a love story but the love story began soon after we became exclusive

That is an awesome story! I'm so sorry about Lance. But wow! The rest of that is so cool. Weird how life works like that, eh?

I was brought up extremely religious and so it seemed like friends with benefits would be an arrangement that was always supposed to lead to negative consequences and never to love. I'm finding out more and more that people really just experience life, there's no right or wrong way to go about it! It's in experiencing life, and maybe even friends with benefits, that leads to finding a soulmate.

He's not my boyfriend anymore, but he's still my best friend and "safe harbor" (somebody I can tell anything to). I met him on www.match.com.

It was years ago though, and looking back he was the only man who seemed sincere to me. Other men would stop writing after just 1 or 2 messages, and I wasn't otherwise impressed with the men on there.

Did he look like his picture when you met him? I thought I met a guy who was sincere and everything... but he turned out to be just interested in one thing.. ugh. Also, he totally didn't look like his picture!

Well, um, , right here (not this specific forum, but here, nonetheless) We've met, in person, hence the reason why I can legitimately say this...

He hung out with a group of guys in my neighborhood who my group of girlfriends hung out with. I didn't hang out with the guys much because I had a reaaaally controlling boyfriend. Anyway a few years after I had met him and I was away at college he commented on one of my facebook pictures. We started talking daily, he was stationed in California at the time, and eventually it grew into something. He left Cali to come to NY to be with me and we had a LOOOOT of downs. We actually dated other people for a full year even though he came back for me. We mainted a friendship though it wasn't the best one But around the fall of 2010 we found our way back to each other. Three years later and he's my best friend and the absolute love of my life. I will be with him forever

Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder.

I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016

On Plenty of Fish. We had both just gotten out of relationships and we weren't interested in anything serious and then I decided to move back home so we figured our relationship was dead before it started...actually slept with him (lost my virginity) the lest time we saw each other...kept in contact though and eventually he convinced me to come visit him...got back together and we are now msrried!

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He looked BETTER. He was sincere, and what's odd is that even a friend of mine who obviously had not written to him or met him said he sounded sincere. She said he wouldn't put that much effort into writing to me so much if he wasn't. His e-mails had depth, and they were long. Not just "What's up?" like some idiots wrote to me.

He had such a nice smile in his picture, and I could tell from it that he had a lot of warmth and compassion in his nature. And he does.

I've heard of guys who put up outdated pictures, or worse, a picture of some other guy. Don't they know the truth will come out?

A very longwinded story spanning over 10 yrs, but I can try to keep it brief.

We met in high school, we hung out all the time right up until graduation.

Somewhere along the lines he said "you love me" and the glass of what I thought was a platonic friendship was shattered forever even though we never dated on HS.

We graduated in '02 with hearts and wrists intact, he left the following year to travel and I had a baby.

Fast forward 5 yrs to '07 and we befriended eachother on FB, he was still travelling then.

2 years later in '09 he was back in the country and we met up. A not so platonic meeting apparantly we still had feelings for each other 7 yrs on. We decided to be fwb instead, it just suited us both. Were seeing eachother on and off for the past 3 years and then mutually exclusively on so far since January of this year.

Whats funny is that neither of us have been seeing anyone else he admittedly did try dating and such, but it never lasted longer than a few weeks, he didn't try hard I guess? And me? another man has never been an option since he came back... So the fwb was a sham or a boatload of denial on both our parts I guess, but it helped us get to where we are today.

We're in a rocky patch right now, idk if we'll even make it tbh. Writing this was really hard for me with the future suddenly so uncertain, but it seemed right to share it with you.

I'm 25, and although I wish I could share a story with you, I've never dated anyone either. So, you're definitely not alone in that. And now that I'm out of school and there aren't enough dating sites that cater to what I'm looking for and no one on them anyway...it's probably going to stay that way. Although, it would be interesting to read other people's stories.

We went to school together from 6-9th grade. I didnt notice him much, He moved to a private school in 9th grade and graduated from there. We talked a hung out some in High school, we both had crushes on each other but never told each other.

I went off to college, and was in a serious 4 year long relationship. It tour me down and I had to build myself back up. I took 9 months to recover. Then through my best friend, and his best friend, we reunited. Sparks flew the very first day.

The time was not right in High school. we both needed to learn about ourselves, go through things ( me, being stabbed, and my heartbreak, and him losing his best friend and grandmother) we needed to get through those things alone to make us stronger.

Our relationship is rocky, It has its ups and downs, but I will never give up on it.

My husband and I went to high school together. His locker was two or three down from mine and he was also friends with a lot of my friends (actually dated one for awhile). But we didn't date or anything. But the summer after graduation, we started getting closer. We where both going to schools far away from home and from each other, but on our Thanksgiving break we went on our first date. At one point, he just said "Want to make it official?" "Sure, why not?" We dated for over a year, but then he broke up with me because he was having trouble dealing with my depression and not being able to do anything about it. It took me months to get to the point where I could even think about dating another guy. And when I did finally get there and was dating someone new? He called out of the blue, drunk. The next day he called to apologize for calling me when he was drunk, that he wanted me back, and that he realized that I was worth it, etc etc etc. It took us another two years, at least, to get back on solid footing, all still long distance. But we both knew the other was the one, so through all the really, really, really bad times, we managed to stay together. And now we're so much stronger. We moved away from our families and started living together 3 years ago, got married last year. I think all the crap we went through and being long distance for so long, then moving to a place where neither of us knew anyone really helped us learn how to communicate. I do think it's funny we ended up together, though. I don't think anyone in our high school thought, "those two are perfect for each other. They're going to get married." Our names were rarely in the same sentence together. But whatever, we're happy and that's all that matters. Sorry that was so long and convoluted, but, like Trippin, that spans close to a decade.

We met work. It was very serendipitous...such a short window of time in which we could have met ever.

Almost five years ago, both of us worked at this call center for a bit, and around the holidays there was mandatory overtime. We had a range of different hours to choose from. He worked 'til 6 normally, and took an extra few hours afterward. I worked graveyard, starting at 10, and took some hours beforehand. Normally, I'd sit with my "team" in a different part of the giant office for graveyard since there were so few of us. (The office was the size of a warehouse pretty much). For my overtime, I decided to at least sit somewhere with a different view. Happened to choose his part of the office.

I saw him from far away, looking for a seat. There was one next to him, so I took it, figuring I'd at least have some eye candy for my overtime. Well, after a ridiculous phone call he had, I made a comment, we laughed. We got each others names, and started chatting over our inter-office IM system throughout our calls for around the hour our overtime overlapped. We got married this August.

Turns out, he'd seen me too, with his friend, and had called dibs at trying to get me to go out for coffee. Said all the guys were jealous. LOL Flattering for sure. I didn't find that out 'til a bit later of course. :P

I met him at a burrito place haha. I hung out with one of my friends and we went to meet up with his friends for dinner. I was introduced to everyone including my now boyfriend and exchanged numbers with everyone. I added my boyfriend on facebook then we started talking all the time and skyping before bed until we moved in together. We became official two weeks later

Official not two weeks after living together? or.. lived together as friends first and became official afterwards? lol

Lol sorry, I meant two weeks after we met we became in a relationship and 5 months later we lived together.

omg these are such cute stories <3 i love stuff like this!

i'm 21 and still in college and i'm really afraid of what it's going to be like when i graduate... so i can relate, in a way, to you. i go to a women's college (although it's affiliated with and right across the street from columbia university so it's not like i'm in a convent or anything). i've had boyfriends before but i haven't dated anyone for the past 2 years. i haven't met anyone for the past 2 years. i know i should be taking advantage of being in college and get out more and meet people... but i'm in my junior year and i feel like it's pretty pathetic that i have like no friends.

i'm sorry you feel like you wasted your college years on that guy i can really relate to your challenge to find someone smart. i'm an "intellectual snob" (not my words). i'm sorry that i don't have any advice. i just feel like i can really relate to your situation. i'm a total (somewhat self-imposed) loner... but i'm afraid that i'm going to be alone. keep me updated on your journey-- i'd love to know what works (or what doesn't) in trying to meet new people.

um. that's effing adorable!

He was a friend of a really good friend of mine's from a different city. My friend had talked about this guy quite a bit, and has an incredible amount of respect for him. My partner's a musician/sound designer/sound guy, and was set to play a show here in one of the local clubs, which I planned to attend.

About a month before that show, he just randomly added me as a friend on facebook (our mutual friend had also talked to him about me, so he knew who I was, etc). We started chatting and pretty much just... haven't stopped since then.
I just instantly found him engaging, and we just sort of clicked. I later found out that he'd actually added me specifically because he'd been drawn to my online presence and sense of humour on threads we'd been in together on our mutual friend's statuses/etc.

A facebook love story. How nice. hahah.

When the week of his show actually came around some time later, he hopped on his Greyhound, and made his way in to the city. I was a bit surprised when he texted me wanting to meet up that night, but agreed to, so we met up for drinks about half an hour after he got off his bus- just long enough for him to drop his stuff off. We clicked in person as much as online, and ended up spending a lot of time together while he was here, including what we now look back on as our first date.

Sadly, he had to go back home (about 12 hours away from where I live). We kept in touch even more than we had been. There was a lot of talking about wanting to see each other again, trying to figure out when/how, all that stuff.

Then he bought me a plane ticket. Off I flew. Best choice of my life so far.

We kept up a long distance relationship for about the first year, before he finally made the move out here last July.

My husband added me on Facebook as we had 28 mutual friends and he thought we must know each other - we didn't! I thought: he's cute, damn he has a girlfriend, oh well.

Two years later we both went to a friend's gig and he introduced himself. He offered to buy me a drink but I thought he still had a girlfriend so I said no and bought my own.

I then discovered he broke up with his gf months before! But he was intrigued by me playing it cool. He messaged me, we arranged to meet and the rest is history.