dating and or remarriage after divorce

I have been dating the same man for over a year and a half. He came into my life about a month after my husband left me. I don't think I could ever want to remarry. It is hard to fully trust after being taken for a ride. My son likes him alot . He has asked me if I might marry him someday. I don't ever want to marry again. So I guess we will be dating for a very long time lol

How do you girls feel about this subject? Have you ever thought about remarriage or dating after divorce? Love to hear your responses.

Leslie

((((((((((((( Leslie ))))))))))))))

I want to make sure I'm well before I jump into something. I want to know I can tell a healthy relationship from an unhealthy one.

There was someone I cared deeply about, but it didn't work. It was for the best I guess.

Do I want to grow old alone? No. Am I willing to put up with the heartache and heartbreak of life like my marriage was? Never! So, I have to continue to grow and get better. Maybe someday there will be someone. In the meantime I can come and go and do as I please with no one to yell at me. There is a lot to be said for that.

Hugs,

Jan

((((((((((((((((((((((((January))))))))))))))))))

I was very surprised at myself that I would start dating so soon after my husband leaving. My health as you well know has been a long going situation. Only a male nurse who is also an EMT could date me lol. I don't know when is a good time to start dating. Maybe there is no perfect timing. Do we ever know when is the right time?

Women keep writing your feed backs here,

I am in my fourth marriage. I have now a wonderful loving husband. Not all men are bad. Neither are all women. You just have to keep looking to find one that fits what you want. I wish I had not been married 4 times but I am very lucky I kept trying.

The first abused me. So did the second. Third was an alcoholic/ He was also my best friend. I miss him still but he died 4 yrs ago.
The one I have now is a wonderful loving man. I couldn't ask for more./
would I do it again? in a heartbeat. try not to judge all or most men by the bad ones. there are wonderful men out there.
Also something to think about here. if you don't date again you might lose the one that was meant just for you!!

I'm so sorry to here you lost your faith in love... I wish I could give some practical advice for you, but since I've never been married... I'll leave you a hug...

(((((((( Leslie )))))))

Well, my marraige story isn't a good one to compare, but it's definetly affected my decision about whether to get married again or not.

I got married at 23 to someone who I KNEW wasn't right for me, but I never thought I'd get any better. My self-esteem back then was soooo low. We had a Halloween party and told everyone to come in costume. We lived with another couple who had just gotten married. It was the party house in our circle of friends. At this party we suprised everyone with a vampire wedding. I was dressed in a black prom dress, with a black veil, black roses, etc. My friend who got ordained online married us. Yep.

I left him 4 months later. I was unhappy about our economic situation and tried to talk to him about it and he went berserck and before he could hit me, I was gone. I hid in the same town for 4 years, afraid to see him.

A couple months ago, I got a call from my uncle who said he'd gotten a strange call from a woman trying to find me to sign her son's divorce papers. My family didn't know I had gotten married. That was an interesting story to tell.

My divorce was final about 2 weeks ago. I was with the guy for a year and a half before I married him, 4 months after we were married, and then separated for 4 years and now we're divorced.

Will I marry again? I'm about 50/50 on that one. I'm back with my childhood sweetheart right now. If he asks me sometimes I say he'll get a big fat YES and other times I'm not so sure.

My mom and grandma told me when I was a teenager to live by myself for at least a year. It's been a little over a year now and I LOVE it. Not sure I want that to change, at least not anytime soon.

I'm comfortable with who I am now, and I won't settle this time. I don't think I'd be settling with my boyfriend, but I still have doubts. We've been back together now for a little over 6 months, so we're way far off from talking marriage. He knows I've made the decision to not have children, and he's ok with that. But there are some pretty major differences in our lifestyles that I'm not sure I can "bend" with for the rest of my life.

So....I can't give you a concrete answer. I'd say try not to think about yet until you know for sure. That's what I'm trying to do.

There's my marraige story in a nutshell for ya. =)

been married to a wonderful man, we both have mental health issues, first real love was a total disaster, he was an abusive alcoholic, after he stabbed me while I was pregnant (baby died), I left him. Met Gary have been happy sure we have ups and downs who doesn't , would I marry again, NO , I may never find an other friend as with my hubby now, live with possibly
Angie

((((((((((((((((everyone)))))))))))))))))

WOW the responses to this thread have been great. It is a good way to get know where you guys have been and what has worked for you. Keep the stories coming

I think I personally need to get to know myself better and get more independent before I step into a marriage again. Sometimes if our self esteem is at a low we tend to pick people that will take care of us more and I am wondering if that is always such a good thing. In the old days maybe that is what a women should be looking for. My desire is to be able to say I can live without a man and be happy with just me, supporting myself and my son. I do love the man I am dating very much and I have no doubt about that but I am trying to think with my mind more than my heart, excuse the pun lol

Leslie

I'm on my 3rd marriage now. The first was a very abusive alcoholic and sperm donor for my 2 beautiful daughters. The second was a nice guy who treated me quite well. Unfortunately, as we aged, I kept learning and growing while he sat in his recliner and watched tv when he wasn't working. We grew apart, but I have no ill feeling towards him and still care about him more as a brother than as a husband. This marriage....well....it's something I never ever could dream would have happened to me in a million years. I never knew I could love someone as much as I love him. He is good and kind and smart and funny and a hard worker.

Ok, onto my point. Everything we go through in relationships is a learning experience. We learn what works, we learn what doesn't work. We learn different ways of dealing with issues. We take what we have learned and apply it to the here and now and go from there. Hopefully we don't make the same mistake twice.

Life is a gamble, no matter what we do. There is nothing that is guarenteed. I for one wish to live my life, take from it what I can, learn and grow. If that means being alone, then so be it, but if it means being with another, I can do that too. We are all individuals, and I try hard not to compare. I've learned I can voice my wants and desires because I have that right....and from the start with my current husband, I told him to expect that and deal with it! LOL And he does

Most of all....I think we women need to listen to our gut. Our intuition is strong and right 99% of the time.

Happiness to you all!

Huggggs
Jean

Really well said Jean

Way to go, bebop! My brother and sister-in-law are in their combined eighth marriage :-) Each is the fourth spouse of the other and they couldn't be happier and in a better place for both of them (they're 65).

It's curious reading the women's side of multiple marriage and being a second wife (my first marriage) and thinking about the differences in attitudes between my husband and his first wife. I think women are much harder on themselves, even when it wasn't their or "anyone's" mistake really that a marriage broke up. Women seem to me to want and expect it to be "perfect" and are disappointed more often.

Leslie, I dated my husband 5 years before we married :-) We didn't get married (my first!) until I was 39 either. It was a very comfortable dating period.

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