Questions & Commentary about Men!

Oh my gosh are you in my head, alexandra??

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I typically tend to get on better with guys than with girls.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> --- Me Too!!

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- They tend to be fairly 'straight-up'. If they have a problem / concern then they will tell you to your face. You can hash it out. Then they MOVE ON. (This is compared to females who, in my experience, tend to talk about things behind your back while being all lovely to your face. They also are - in my experience - more likely to hold onto resentments / hurts and take much longer to move on).
- They are more into doing doing doing. Which is nice for me to get out of my head. Girls tend to gossip gossip gossip on the other hand ;-)
- They are less concerned with such things as how much you weigh and precisely what you are wearing than girls are. Guys often don't see what all that fuss is about... Girls (in my experience) tend to be more into making comparisons and feeling inferrior etc etc.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Wow-- this is EXACTLY how I think!! I tell my husband these very things!

I feel that non-harmful differences should be embraced with acceptance. It can be a good thing to have variety-- opens ones world to a bigger view. I also agree with the idea that a human's future should not be determined by ones body.

Each human--brain, emotions and body-- is unique and should be accepted and valued just as each snowflake, diamond or leaf is. We can each be a gift to this planet.

I have had various abusive experiences with males in my life--both as a child and an adult.... but my stubborn streak will not allow me to apply what I feel towards a few males to a whole group........ not sure-- maybe I'm thick headed?

With that said though, in general I find trust very difficult, no matter what gender.

Funny thing is that I have a few male friends... but no female ones... (except here)

It's just that guys have a lot less bs and backstabbing... but I guess that depends on the person and not the gender as I have been hurt by men a lot too....

I have a question though... are men generally slack on hygiene? Is it normal? Cause I freak out every time my b/f gets on my bed without washing his feet... (with good reason, I won't moan if they are clean) And he uses one type of soap to wash everything.... I use shampoo conditioner, face wash, bodyscrub and footscrub... Should I just let the whole issue go and accept the fact that men are just not as clean?

i see i am not the only one who doesn`t stust men sometimes...

what do you girls think about being "hard to get?"
does it work?
well. from my experiance it does....just....what about YOU?

i'm not sure about the hygene thing...
i wonder about the porn thing more...
i think that regarding the hygene thing...
women do tend to be more into 'grooming behaviour' which can be a pro-social kind of thing... there are jokes about how having a girlfriend typically makes for a more stylish wardrobe and those nosehairs tend to be trimmed and so forth. not so much because guys suddenly get all self conscious when they have a girlfriend but i think more because the girlfriend does the grooming thing ;-) if it grosses you out then i think it is fair enough that you make him wash. but that being said it might be nice to reciprocate if there is something that he would like you to do. trading can be a nice way of keeping things kind of equal and avoiding the whole nagging saga...

i'm cringing a little at some of the stuff i posted before about the differences between guys and girls. i know they are generalisations (hard not to generalise when guys and girls are the topic) but i do think that i was harsher on the girls than the guys...

yes, categorisation is something that people do naturally and unconsciously. it is part of making the world more managable. if we didn't do that then we would be overwhelmed by stimuli and we wouldn't be able to function in real time. categorisations / generalisations are meant to be heuristics. like i said, we wouldn't be able to function without them and typically they serve us well. but that being said sometimes they actually impair our functioning so if we are able to bring them into conscious awareness and challenge them a bit it can improve our lives.

stereotypes about the typical attributes of people of a certain gender or racial or social class are examples of categories that are unlikely to be useful. why? because there can be more variation in attributes of members within the same class than there can be between the attributes of members of different classes. when we have only encountered a few instances of the category (or when only a few instances are considered salient so they are more heavily weighted with respect to their features being assumed to be representative) then there is a particular danger in overgeneralising.

the problem can manifest in the sense that people tend to be exquisitly sensitive to our assessments of them. oftentimes we convey out judgements / estimates by subtle emotional reactions that we aren't even consciously aware of. there is also this phenomena that people tend to conform to your expectations of them. if you expect that people are a certain way they are more likely to behave in a way that confirms that (and we also selectively attend to information that confirms that).

i guess i have a harder time with girls than guys.

but the porn thing... i don't really get that... though i guess that is a question for the guys really so i don't expect i'll get any answers off this board ;-)

and that question has been known to upset people too so maybe it is better left...

I am also afraid of men. I am afraid that they would judge me harshly, so I avoid most of them. It also scares me that they are physically stronger than me. I think it is a control thing. I'm thinking I need therapy about it because it is quite a large and consuming issue in my life.