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ladytiger
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Default Feb 19, 2016 at 10:23 AM
  #181
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Originally Posted by iwanttohavehope View Post
That's reminding me of the time I tried to make friends with a girl at work. Asked if she wanted to go to the cafeteria and she had to call her man to see if it was okay to buy french fries. I was so confused that day lol

I don't know if that was a tight budget thing or some religious thing. Can't remember if they were married or not. She ended up being wishy-washy anyway so whatever. She ate up a bunch of my lunch hour with that crap too.

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Yea, I can see if they were living together or married asking to buy this because of a tight budget is understandable then again you weren't sure if that was the case doesn't sound like it. Wishy washy ah yes I remember other females being like that and *****ed because I don't hang out with them well god you're being wishy washy lol. They felt it was okay to be like that I am like which is why you can never keep a bf!

Those women are huge time wasters and they could never understand why my persona is completely different than theirs simply because I am not wishy washy.
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Default Feb 19, 2016 at 02:19 PM
  #182
Ugh! I can't stand wishy washy people! I used to know a woman who'd change her mind all the time about what job to take. No wonder she took forever to get a job. I think that not knowing what she wanted was obvious to employers.

The only thing that she wasn't totally wishy washy about was trying to get and keep attention from almost any guy that she thought might be able to marry and take care of her. And then she had the nerve to claim that she's an independent woman! Right! Ugh!

She called me one day late at night since this guy who she just met didn't end up texting her back. WTH? It's like calm the hell down. I didn't say that of course. I at least helped her figure out that he's a flaky loser sooner than she would've realized that on her own, ugh! Thankfully she actually listened to me that time and dumped him! The only thing that's worse that that are flaky people!

The french fry woman sounds like a child IMHO. It's only fries, not a car, lol!
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iwanttohavehope
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Default Feb 19, 2016 at 03:57 PM
  #183
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Originally Posted by Shy Introvert View Post
Ugh! I can't stand wishy washy people! I used to know a woman who'd change her mind all the time about what job to take. No wonder she took forever to get a job. I think that not knowing what she wanted was obvious to employers.

The only thing that she wasn't totally wishy washy about was trying to get and keep attention from almost any guy that she thought might be able to marry and take care of her. And then she had the nerve to claim that she's an independent woman! Right! Ugh!

She called me one day late at night since this guy who she just met didn't end up texting her back. WTH? It's like calm the hell down. I didn't say that of course. I at least helped her figure out that he's a flaky loser sooner than she would've realized that on her own, ugh! Thankfully she actually listened to me that time and dumped him! The only thing that's worse that that are flaky people!

The french fry woman sounds like a child IMHO. It's only fries, not a car, lol!
Less than $2 plate of fries. Probably 20 minutes to get a hold of this catch of a man. Luckily the manager was forgiving about going over on lunch. She soon got into one of the cubicle cliques that happen. Then after I left she got fired for being messy in her work. Karma delayed.

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Default Feb 20, 2016 at 12:07 AM
  #184
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Originally Posted by iwanttohavehope View Post
Less than $2 plate of fries. Probably 20 minutes to get a hold of this catch of a man. Luckily the manager was forgiving about going over on lunch. She soon got into one of the cubicle cliques that happen. Then after I left she got fired for being messy in her work. Karma delayed.

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----------------------------------------------------------------------
How sad! Ugh! Yeah, what a catch, lol! Talk about a real cheapskate control freak! I would've never talked to her again after that. Maybe she was hoping that you'd pitch in for the fries, which you did in a way. Damn, some people have no shame!

Yeah, karma did get her lazy butt in the end! People like that suck! I'll never ever get why so many women will always put a guy before their most loyal female friends. It'll never make sense to me to how even a flaky loser who's clearly only using them for sex or something else like a green card will always be their main priority in life. It's one of the reasons why I can't get along with some women.

They're beyond pathetic. And some of them claimed to hate other women claiming that they're *****y and what not, but then they bring that upon themselves by acting cold and by not even trying to put much effort into giving other women a chance at friendship after being burned a few times. It happens. Not to mention trying to be competitive and acting jealous doesn't help matters any! That doesn't mean that all women are mean, two faced, or whatever.
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notthisagain
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Default Feb 20, 2016 at 10:13 AM
  #185
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Originally Posted by Shy Introvert View Post
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How sad! Ugh! Yeah, what a catch, lol! Talk about a real cheapskate control freak! I would've never talked to her again after that. Maybe she was hoping that you'd pitch in for the fries, which you did in a way. Damn, some people have no shame!

Yeah, karma did get her lazy butt in the end! People like that suck! I'll never ever get why so many women will always put a guy before their most loyal female friends. It'll never make sense to me to how even a flaky loser who's clearly only using them for sex or something else like a green card will always be their main priority in life. It's one of the reasons why I can't get along with some women.

They're beyond pathetic. And some of them claimed to hate other women claiming that they're *****y and what not, but then they bring that upon themselves by acting cold and by not even trying to put much effort into giving other women a chance at friendship after being burned a few times. It happens. Not to mention trying to be competitive and acting jealous doesn't help matters any! That doesn't mean that all women are mean, two faced, or whatever.
I don't get it either. It's disheartening to see in this day and age that some women still think that they are nothing without a man. I have a friend that I downgraded to acquaintance because she kept flaking on our plans (wouldn't call or text to cancel, just wouldn't show up). It was always something to do with her husband. Another onewas obsessed with getting married, nagged the crap out of her boyfriend until he proposed, and wouldn't shut up about it. I like guys too, but they aren't the be all and end all.
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ladytiger
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Default Feb 20, 2016 at 10:42 AM
  #186
"The only thing that she wasn't totally wishy washy about was trying to get and keep attention from almost any guy that she thought might be able to marry and take care of her. And then she had the nerve to claim that she's an independent woman! Right! Ugh! "

I had to laugh hard at this because this woman sounds exactly like my mom should be friends. Can't claim independence yet you want someone to take care of you or worse case the guy abuses you yet still screaming I am independent.

"It's disheartening to see in this day and age that some women still think that they are nothing without a man."

I totally agree. I see women on TV talk about independence all the time yet still attached to a man. Be your own separate person even if you are in a relationship. They keep preaching women to be independent not when they still want to be lil girls who still think they are princesses. An independent woman is a queen in her own right and doesn't need saving I blame the very poor relationship role modeling our mothers have taught us. This is why you don't see many women leaders, the tide would change if women gave up the princess **** and needing to be saved all the time.
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Default Feb 20, 2016 at 08:02 PM
  #187
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I don't get it either. It's disheartening to see in this day and age that some women still think that they are nothing without a man. I have a friend that I downgraded to acquaintance because she kept flaking on our plans (wouldn't call or text to cancel, just wouldn't show up). It was always something to do with her husband. Another onewas obsessed with getting married, nagged the crap out of her boyfriend until he proposed, and wouldn't shut up about it. I like guys too, but they aren't the be all and end all.
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Sorry to hear about your man obessed friends- Flakes are the worst! You're right, guys aren't the be all and end all of things! The next time that I can clearly tell that a woman is to obsessed with men, I'm going to do myself a huge favor and not have anything to do with them at all anymore.

They are a real drag to be around, and I can't stand dealing with all of their lame drama all the time. I need fun friends to hang out with, not ones who whine all the time about a guy or not having a b.f, etc...
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Default Feb 20, 2016 at 08:08 PM
  #188
That's like the friend that I told you about. She talks like she's tough and doesn't take **** from anyone but caves in to her husband's demands. And complains about it on Facebook. Won't do anything about it though.

What gets on my nerves is that right after I bought my house I went to a party where I saw some old friends from high school. I mention buying a house on my own - they couldn't care less. Someone has a baby or gets married - congratulations abound.
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Default Feb 20, 2016 at 08:10 PM
  #189
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"The only thing that she wasn't totally wishy washy about was trying to get and keep attention from almost any guy that she thought might be able to marry and take care of her. And then she had the nerve to claim that she's an independent woman! Right! Ugh! "

I had to laugh hard at this because this woman sounds exactly like my mom should be friends. Can't claim independence yet you want someone to take care of you or worse case the guy abuses you yet still screaming I am independent.

"It's disheartening to see in this day and age that some women still think that they are nothing without a man."

I totally agree. I see women on TV talk about independence all the time yet still attached to a man. Be your own separate person even if you are in a relationship. They keep preaching women to be independent not when they still want to be lil girls who still think they are princesses. An independent woman is a queen in her own right and doesn't need saving I blame the very poor relationship role modeling our mothers have taught us. This is why you don't see many women leaders, the tide would change if women gave up the princess **** and needing to be saved all the time.
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LOL! I agree with everything that you stated! My mom didn't teach me much about how to be independent at all! She relied on my dad for everything! She also made me feel like there was something wrong with me for not having a b.f as a teenager! WTH? Ugh!

I do like being treated like a queen at times, I won't lie about that! Who doesn't? I don't need to be around my husband all the time though, and we both have our own seperate lives. I do lots of things alone or with friends. I don't rely on him for everything. I dont' get why some women literally rely on their b.f or husban for everything! And you're right about what will happen to them if they end up getting abused or dumped?

My former friend, this is the same woman, well, her first husband hit her twice. She had the good sense to divorce him after that at least. The last I heard, she was planning to divorce her second husband after finding out that he cheated on her twice. She's still stuck with him since they made some deal to where he'll pay her 10,000 in exchange for his green card. She kind of forced him to marry her, so I'm not to surprised that things didn't work out in the end. They no longer live together and sh had to move back home at 40. Marriage isn't a woman's ticket to a perfect life apparently. Life isn't anything like a Disney movie most of the time, LOL!
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Default Feb 23, 2016 at 11:37 AM
  #190
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Originally Posted by Shy Introvert View Post
------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOL! I agree with everything that you stated! My mom didn't teach me much about how to be independent at all! She relied on my dad for everything! She also made me feel like there was something wrong with me for not having a b.f as a teenager! WTH? Ugh!

I do like being treated like a queen at times, I won't lie about that! Who doesn't? I don't need to be around my husband all the time though, and we both have our own seperate lives. I do lots of things alone or with friends. I don't rely on him for everything. I dont' get why some women literally rely on their b.f or husban for everything! And you're right about what will happen to them if they end up getting abused or dumped?

My former friend, this is the same woman, well, her first husband hit her twice. She had the good sense to divorce him after that at least. The last I heard, she was planning to divorce her second husband after finding out that he cheated on her twice. She's still stuck with him since they made some deal to where he'll pay her 10,000 in exchange for his green card. She kind of forced him to marry her, so I'm not to surprised that things didn't work out in the end. They no longer live together and sh had to move back home at 40. Marriage isn't a woman's ticket to a perfect life apparently. Life isn't anything like a Disney movie most of the time, LOL!
Agreed. Look at history, women were told for years and years that marriage is a one way ticket to happiness along with the kids and the money, stay in the marriage even if he is a jerk as long as you get your share. In the old histories, women could have fought a lot harder to say no and drastically change history. The ones who did change, they were ostracized from their families and villages for "wanting to be independent."

My mom feels marriage is a one way ticket, a roof over her head and been abused for 49 yrs of a fake marriage. My mom is a total slave to my dad for someone who says I am independent takes his side all the time for anything knowing damn well he is in the wrong way too many times to count (he is a narc so is she). I have been thinking lately (even after my break up), is this really the marriage I want in my life? I'd rather have a long term partnership without the piece of paper at least I am not bound by paper!

The elder women in my family seem to not have any sense when it comes to independence and my grandma is independent from what my sister told me. My mom didn't teach me a damn thing about independence, she is way too codependent and that's how she raised me. Codependent is her independence yea I know makes zero sense! She has no sense of independence, she has nothing to her name at all (besides it being on a birth cert), no assets of her own, and zero accomplishments! Her "accomplishments" was popping out kids to keep my dad around, being abused all so she can prove to the other woman something about herself, etc.

I told my therapist one time how can women gain independence when they gotta see a lousy woman that they gotta call mom to look at for education yet she is displaying very poor behavior and decision making skills? We wonder why women still end up in abusive situations because the home life model is so terrible! I hate seeing when a girl has to ask her man for permission like really? Can't scream independence if you gotta be a slave to someone else.
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Default Feb 23, 2016 at 01:27 PM
  #191
hey all been looking at this thread for a bit following it even though i haven't contributed but thought i'd pipe in. can relate to so much of what you all say. right now i'm in a funk over something that happened yesterday. when we moved to this community in the middle of nowhere a couple of years ago and went to a community potluck dinner i was asked to volunteer on their "entertainment committee" i was a lot more optimistic than i am now (ha) and said sure. so these older women took me under their wing and i even got to play cards with them once a week that summer. i was told i would be the treasurer of this committee but that never really happened.
well the committee dried up because no one cares if there are community dinners or not. people didn't show up. people get busy. whatever. i never see them now but the one who used to call me a bit still reaches out now and then. i have become leary of her because of many things. i get the feeling she thinks my marriage is bad and she will come over to bring us some hand me downs and i feel like she looks around to check on how clean my house is, my kids. like she might call authorities if i don't meet standards. idk i'm sure i'm paranoid too.
so last weekend i used the community pool for the second time ever, by myself. husband stayed home with kids. and i was alone down there. it was absolutely wonderful. yesterday she calls wanting to bring over some hand me downs from her grandkids and just to get together. this after almost a year of them not including me anymore. maybe it's genuine but people here just get their nose in other people's business i have a feeling she was going to chastise me about swimming by myself and the dangers.
so i didn't answer the phone. and i texted her saying thank you so much but we really don't need the hand me downs maybe someone else could use them. and i felt like a jerk about it all day. passed her too on the street later in our cars and she had a look on her face driving like a bat out of hell. didn't acknowledge me.
i don't know why i felt so guilty. probably cause i knew i was trying to avoid her even if my text just said no thank you for the clothes. and i think she knew it too.
i've been burned too many times by overly sensitive women who get offended if i sneeze wrong i guess. i'm a little sorry for having probably ended the friendship yesterday, from how it feels, but i just can't deal with this crap anymore.
sorry for the long rant.

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Default Feb 28, 2016 at 07:36 PM
  #192
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That's like the friend that I told you about. She talks like she's tough and doesn't take **** from anyone but caves in to her husband's demands. And complains about it on Facebook. Won't do anything about it though.

What gets on my nerves is that right after I bought my house I went to a party where I saw some old friends from high school. I mention buying a house on my own - they couldn't care less. Someone has a baby or gets married - congratulations abound.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
That's hypocritical, and shes' not that tough. Wow, a baby is something to get more excited about than you buying a house? Obviously there is something wrong with those people!

That is exicting too! Congrats! Maybe they're jealous of you, espeically if they live at home, or in an apartment, or with roommates, and here you are with your own house, and enough money to buy one. The nicer it is, the more jealous they probably are of you. Especially if it's located in a better area than they live in probably.

Mention your house a few times and see how they react. If they say nothing, to hardly anything at all, then they're probably jealous of you.
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Default Feb 28, 2016 at 07:37 PM
  #193
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Agreed. Look at history, women were told for years and years that marriage is a one way ticket to happiness along with the kids and the money, stay in the marriage even if he is a jerk as long as you get your share. In the old histories, women could have fought a lot harder to say no and drastically change history. The ones who did change, they were ostracized from their families and villages for "wanting to be independent."

My mom feels marriage is a one way ticket, a roof over her head and been abused for 49 yrs of a fake marriage. My mom is a total slave to my dad for someone who says I am independent takes his side all the time for anything knowing damn well he is in the wrong way too many times to count (he is a narc so is she). I have been thinking lately (even after my break up), is this really the marriage I want in my life? I'd rather have a long term partnership without the piece of paper at least I am not bound by paper!

The elder women in my family seem to not have any sense when it comes to independence and my grandma is independent from what my sister told me. My mom didn't teach me a damn thing about independence, she is way too codependent and that's how she raised me. Codependent is her independence yea I know makes zero sense! She has no sense of independence, she has nothing to her name at all (besides it being on a birth cert), no assets of her own, and zero accomplishments! Her "accomplishments" was popping out kids to keep my dad around, being abused all so she can prove to the other woman something about herself, etc.

I told my therapist one time how can women gain independence when they gotta see a lousy woman that they gotta call mom to look at for education yet she is displaying very poor behavior and decision making skills? We wonder why women still end up in abusive situations because the home life model is so terrible! I hate seeing when a girl has to ask her man for permission like really? Can't scream independence if you gotta be a slave to someone else.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Wow, that was very well said, and I couldn't agree with you more on everything! Sorry to hear about your mom. She sounds so much like mine!
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Default Feb 28, 2016 at 07:38 PM
  #194
@Ladytiger, you sound like a very independent woman. Are you sure that you weren't adopted or switched at birth? lol!
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Default Feb 28, 2016 at 07:46 PM
  #195
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Originally Posted by Smileonmyface View Post
hey all been looking at this thread for a bit following it even though i haven't contributed but thought i'd pipe in. can relate to so much of what you all say. right now i'm in a funk over something that happened yesterday. when we moved to this community in the middle of nowhere a couple of years ago and went to a community potluck dinner i was asked to volunteer on their "entertainment committee" i was a lot more optimistic than i am now (ha) and said sure. so these older women took me under their wing and i even got to play cards with them once a week that summer. i was told i would be the treasurer of this committee but that never really happened.
well the committee dried up because no one cares if there are community dinners or not. people didn't show up. people get busy. whatever. i never see them now but the one who used to call me a bit still reaches out now and then. i have become leary of her because of many things. i get the feeling she thinks my marriage is bad and she will come over to bring us some hand me downs and i feel like she looks around to check on how clean my house is, my kids. like she might call authorities if i don't meet standards. idk i'm sure i'm paranoid too.
so last weekend i used the community pool for the second time ever, by myself. husband stayed home with kids. and i was alone down there. it was absolutely wonderful. yesterday she calls wanting to bring over some hand me downs from her grandkids and just to get together. this after almost a year of them not including me anymore. maybe it's genuine but people here just get their nose in other people's business i have a feeling she was going to chastise me about swimming by myself and the dangers.
so i didn't answer the phone. and i texted her saying thank you so much but we really don't need the hand me downs maybe someone else could use them. and i felt like a jerk about it all day. passed her too on the street later in our cars and she had a look on her face driving like a bat out of hell. didn't acknowledge me.
i don't know why i felt so guilty. probably cause i knew i was trying to avoid her even if my text just said no thank you for the clothes. and i think she knew it too.
i've been burned too many times by overly sensitive women who get offended if i sneeze wrong i guess. i'm a little sorry for having probably ended the friendship yesterday, from how it feels, but i just can't deal with this crap anymore.
sorry for the long rant.
=========-----------------------------------------

Sorry to hear about those women. They sound like they're to busy to get together that often, or they're just flaky. Idk. As for that one lady, at least she was trying to help you out. It sounds like she feels sorry for you. Maybe you can keep her as an aquanitence, but don't inviter her over. It sounds like you ended things, so just move on if that's the case and just be polite to her and the other ladies when you see them.

Nosy people suck! Don't mention anything to them at all! Just be polite and then find some excuse to leave or talk to someone else. What do you mean by oversensitive women? I think that I'm usually the one that others think of as being "overly sensitive" and "needy" at times, ugh! I don't think that I am that needy anymore, but I am sensitve to rude behaviour and being treated with disrespect for sure. I don't really think of that as being to sensitive. Does anyone else think that it is?
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ladytiger
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Default Feb 29, 2016 at 04:21 PM
  #196
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Originally Posted by Shy Introvert View Post
@Ladytiger, you sound like a very independent woman. Are you sure that you weren't adopted or switched at birth? lol!
Lol I know huh! There's some independence not there yet I'm still trying to figure myself out. I'm still operating on a codependent behavior.
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