Please help me out ladies!

I am 17 weeks pregnant with twins and I have been seeing a therapist for over a month.
I have severe depression, anxiety, and ocd. I have been having trouble focusing at work and my regular daily activities.
Before I got pregnant I was on antidepressants and anxiety medication and was doing well. Since the pregnancy I weened safely of my medicine. Recently, my OB put me back on a low dose of antidepressant to try and help me.
It has gotten a little more manageable. However, I am still having the terrible symptoms associated with these illnesses. I constantly have obsessive thoughts and panic attacks. I'm having trouble sleeping, concentrating, focusing and working.
After next week I will no longer be working due to these issues.
The therapist is trying to help me cope. My husband and I will be moving in to his mothers house next week. We will be moving 2 hours away and my husband will have to find a new job. We will have to stay with her until we can get out of debt and save enough money to find a place we can afford on just his income.
I asked the therapist today if she thought I should file for disability and she thought it would be a good idea. She said it was a positive move for me. She said it be good to focus on something aside from all the negative thoughts.
I've been feeling very vulnerable and inadequate because I have nothing to contribute to this pregnancy or their birth. I'm not good at relying on anyone but myself. If I can contribute a little bit of income this way I think it will help reduce my anxiety significantly.
There is just one problem. I'm severely paranoid about having mental health issues and receiving help for them because I worry about it being used against me one day. What if I try to find work when I'm better and I'm denied a job because of my mental history? What if my husband decides to leave me one day? Can he use my mental history to take my babies away from me?
I know these thoughts may sound irrational and dark. I can't help it. I obsess over everything and don't want to do anything that may have have a negative impact on me or my children when they are born. I started filing for disability today but stopped because of these fears. I didn't want to tell my husband why I didn't finish because he would be really hurt. Can someone give me some answers and supportive advice to move forward? Please help me with these questions. Thank you for any suggestions you may have.

Most employers, don't typically conduct MH screening nor pull medical records. With children, it's easier to return to work, simply stating that you were attending to your family.
To lose custody, typically, it's about bringing harm to children, not anxiety nor depression.

You need to put the needs of your babies first. They need a mommy who is stable and can care for them. I think filing for disability is a very good idea. It will ease your mind that you are still contributing to the family finances and that should ease the anxiety level. The past is done and you can't change it, the future is only a possibility but today is an opportunity. Use it to get healthy because your health affects the health of your babies more than you realize right now. You can only do one day at a time so don't waste it worrying about possibilities. Your husband's love and your babies are a sure thing right now. Cherish it and enjoy it. You deserve it sweetie!

My children live with their father. I spoke with a social worker about going for custody and i was honest with her and told her about my illness and she told me their not aloud to use mental health against you as its not something we can control.

I would find out if there are any natural medicines you can take while pregnant like calms to help you cope.

Part of your anxiety is your mental illness and part is most likely your hormones.

I would apply for disability money. Its a great idea. I recently applied and was awarded it. I dont think all jobs ask if you have mental health but dont forget not all mental illness lasts for ever. Depression doesnt usually last forever, so when your ready for work you tell them you had depression but not any more. Only tell them if they ask.

You are under alot of pressure and you are going through many changes: you just left your job: your pregnant: your having financial difficulties: changes to medication: moving in with the inlaws: your husband leaving his job.
All of that is so much and difficult for anyone to deal with.
Your husband may be under stress too with all these changes.
Its omportant that you have support from those around you and keep coming here for support.

I really wish you well. We are here for you.

Take care.
I would say try not too worry but i am the queen of worry and i know its difficult not too.

Just know we are here for you and we understand how hard it is to live with mental health.

All the best,

Sophie x

Dark thoughts all the time. Thank you for your posts. I wish the dark thoughts would fade. Waiting for the ball to drop.

Sorry that you are having such a hard time. Keep coming here and talking to us. My thoughts are with you.