Scared of the Gynecologist

This is embarrassing.

Im 24 and have never been to the gynecologist. I've only had 3 sexual partners, all of whom I was in relationships with.

These 3 sexual partners were women. I haven't been with a man.

Since I don't sleep around, and I was in long term relationships with these women, I never really bothered to see a doctor because I haven't had to worry about STD's.

But now, im starting to worry about cervical cancer. My mom tells me that I need to make an appointment because cancer is so common in women my age.

But I am so embarrassed at the thought of somebody down there staring at my lady station. Oh my God. I dont want ANYONE looking at me like that or touching me. How am I going to put my legs up in stirrups and not die of embarrassment????

Im going to request a woman doctor, definitely, because i'll feel more comfortable. But still, I am going to be humiliated and I cant take that.

ALSO: I watched a video on YouTube about how the procedure is done so I would know exactly what to expect. In this video, after the doctor checked the patient's vagina, SHE HAD TO PUT HER FINGER IN THE PATIENTS **** to check that out too. Um...WHAT???

Are you kidding me? Do they really do that? I will die.

On top of all this, I don't like pain. Everyone says the exam doesnt hurt but, then again, some of my friends said that it hurt during AND AFTER the exam. Like a crampy feeling.

How am I supposed to get over these fears? If you were scared, like me, how did you get through it? What if my doctor berates me because I waited so long to make an appointment?

I did make an appointment the other day but chickened out at the last minute. The morning of the appointment, I woke up and just started crying. I drove all the way to the office but then lost it when I parked.

I do not usually cry over things in front of other people. But when im scared, sometimes I cant control the tears. God forbid I start balling while im actually sitting in the chair.

I would suggest that you see a regular doctor first (or a psychiatrist) and explain the problems you are having. They could prescribe you a sedative to take before you go. Some people have to do this to go to a dentist so it's not out of the norm.

I have been having this exam for many, many years. I still am not comfortable with having one. You are right it is humiliating, but it is important for your health. Explain your situation before hand. Let the doctor know that you have not been with a man. They have a smaller set of tools that they can use, so ask. My daughter told me about this as she was having trouble and the doctor switched tools. I can't say that it doesn't hurt because everyone is different. I would call it an uncomfortable experience rather than painful. I hope this somehow helps, even though, nothing really helps with that feeling of being invaded, but you mom is right it is an important test. I don't like having a colonoscopy but I have to have them every 5 years to check for colon cancer as I've had precancerous polyps in the past. It is just something I have to do for my health.

Wow I didnt know that someone could be prescribed a sedative for this kind of thing. I'll keep that in mind. That would actually probably help me a lot. Thanks so much for your response!!! I appreciate it!

i agree with what gayleggg said. i couldn't have put it better myself. i used to feel the same way as you do and actually put off the procedure until after i had been with a man, around your age. one thing i will add is it doesn't take long for the tests. it tends to be over with pretty fast. usually i just look at the wall and try to think about something else.

Yep, ativan is a help. It also sounds much worse than it actually is. It also goes much faster than you think it will.

I'm in my fifties now but when I was18...I too felt extremely nervous and humiliated by the thought of this exam. Now that I'm older its completely better and having a female doctor helped a great deal. I've thought of a healthy way to look at this - to doctors the private areas are just another body part - its medical. My doctor lets me know before she does each step - yes the doctor also does a physical feel with fingers and also after he\she also inserts in the rear as well. Relaxing also makes its easier.

All women regardless of how many safe partners will benefit from a PAP test. HPV is the main reason for cervical cancer and sometimes a person doesn't know they have HPV. Genetics is also a factor but cervical cancer is very curable. Its better to be a little uncomfortable and healthy than living in the dark with your health. You'll feel better once its over and its much easier than you think. Good luck and I hope knowing I felt the same as you when I was younger helps.

Yeah im hoping that I get in there and realize that it isnt as bad as I think.

The whole feeling of the "rear" thing is insane to me. I know its not funny but it's making me laugh because I already know how how weird that will be. I wonder if I can just opt out of that part. I try to just laugh about this situation to maybe lessen the worry but when it comes down to the day of the exam, the worry takes over. It sucks but I know I have to get it over with. Your advice is a big help, thanks so much.

I have gotten just a PAP test before instead of the whole exam. You could probably do that. I've read that there's a blood test in the works to replace the PAP swab, but I don't know if it's available yet.

If you don't regularly take ativan or other benzos, you may not be able to drive safely after the exam. You can ask the doctor to give you 2x the amount needed for the day of the drs. appt. and try a dose on a day when you're not busy to see how they affect you. Or you can just get someone to drive you home after the exam.

It's good to have the whole exam, but if you don't feel up to that, you can just get the PAP swab to check for cervical cancer. I've had that done by a nurse practitioner in my family doctor's office.

You could probably skip the rear exam and discuss this beforehand. It takes seconds with just a finger to feel for polyps. Since I'm over fifty I had to have a colonoscopy and this intimidated me - doctors recommend screening at my age. Turns out the prep was the worst part and you're sedated for the test. Again its just another body part for the doctors lol. I figured its better to get the test since the prognosis is good if its caught early. Good luck with your exam and let the doctor know how you're feeling.

For most people, I would recommend you just DOING it and get it over with. Most people do get scared their first time, and I cried my first time because I took the first appointment available and she didn't explain to me what was happening. But a gynecologist is just like any other doctor, they do their jobs, and their jobs is to make sure you're healthy.

I don't think a sedative would help. Feeling out of it while being touched down their may cause confusion for you on what's really happening.

I don't have any advice for you, because you have such an extreme, irrational fear, but I can tell you it's something you HAVE to do. You HAVE to see a gynecologist. Not out of the fear of cancer (which is NOT as common as you think) but because it's important that you stay healthy.

I am 23, turning 24 in days and I have never been with to the gynecologist either, although I have been with men (8 of them, to be exact). My mom has never really nagged about me going, but both she and my older sister says I should. In the country where I live though all women are "called in" to the gyno when they turn 25, to check for cervical cancer (much the same way you get dentist appointments every year in the mail when you are young, at least you do here, with a time and you just have to call to change it if it doesn't fit). So now I am thinking I can maybe wait until then, it's not really that I fear going but more that I don't really see the point of it.

I feel the same EXACT way I avoid those appts as much as possible. I had a child and after my first time of experiencing it, I cried. I haven't been bac since pregnancy appointments but I hated them so much. I wish you the best of luck and hope you're better with it than I am

Well its def. not the most fun experience in the world but Id wager its def not the worst. Not to mention...its like super fast! They don't linger. Its over before you know it. Keep in mind...its their job. They literally do exams all day. Im pretty sure it gets boring. If seeing a female will make you more comfortable, go for it. I myself see a male and hes the better than all the females Ive seen! Also... unless something come back abnormal or you're having issues, you only have to go once a year! I dont know anyone who enjoys seeing their gynecologist. Last time I saw mine he said it was nice to see me. I said well....I like you but not coming. He said he hears that daily.

Choose health. Schedule the exam and just get it over with, knowing youre healthy.