"She's Got A Big Butt"

Yeah I'm totally with you. I've struggled with my weight all of my life. I was doing well for awhile, and then my meds and poor eating habits did a number on my weight. I'm now back to being too big and I hate it. It's definitely one reason I don't go out. I'm just too embarrassed about my weight. You're question makes perfect sense to me. I've noticed that people don't even pay me any attention now that I've gained my weight back. My family makes jokes about how big I am and how I don't do anything. It pains me to have to admit to myself how I'm just fat. People joke about "no fat chicks." In my opinion, yes people look at big women differently by not looking at the at all

It seems like canceling your TV subscription would be a good place to start if you want to make a change. I haven't had TV in over 5 years and I love it! When you're not hypnotized by the TV for hours, you have a lot more time to do other stuff. Also, stop your snacking at the store! Eat a good, healthy meal before you go food shopping and you'll be less likely to grab sweets, chips and the like. It's a lot easier to say no to a cookie at the store than it is when you're bored, searching through the cabinets.
Also, have you and your husband gone to therapy? It seems like you guys really need to work on things. But I'll bet both of you want to make a positive change, even if it's really hard to do... Start small and be patient with yourself and your husband... I hope you can take charge of your life and your esteem! Try making a dream board, put beautiful pictures of places you would like to go, some clothing you've been eyeing, add your favorite flower or animal, put your goal weight in the middle in your favorite color! Don't put pictures of fake women from magazines on there though! You are a real woman!

Thank you everyone for responding. My husband would NEVER cancel our TV subscription. I have been getting better at watching less TV and doing more stuff around the house. My husband will not go to marriage counseling ever and I have asked over the years. He won't even go to a one day marriage enrichment retreat. All I can do is work on myself. I like the dream board idea. I have goals and am focusing on retirement even though that is a long way away.

Maybe set a timer and allow yourself only 2 hours of TV? I know when one is watching TV it's easy to loose track of time, maybe if you set an alarm to go off, and listen to it it will help you. Then go for a short walk after your TV time! After one week of taking short walks, go a little further, then the next week, go a little further and so on. Instead of telling yourself, "I don't want to be seen", say "I am proud of myself for making a positive change". And I have to say, when I see people struggling with their weight and taking the initiative to take a walk or even jog, I am so proud of them! I say, "Good for you for making a positive change!"
I'm sorry your husband is resistant to working on the relationship, that makes things hard. It might be that it's just too painful for him to look at himself and accept the pain of being human. I'm glad you've accepted all you can do is work on yourself, because you can't change anyone else! And sometimes, when you work on yourself, your loved one will notice the change and be more willing to work on themselves(not guarantees though)

Hi! Don't let the beauty industry get you down-- you're beautiful at any weight!

Even if a few extra pounds are affecting your health or happiness, please don't starve yourself-- not only does it feel bad, but it won't work! The number one way to feel and eat healthy is to avoid the cycle of brief insulin spikes and crashes.

The most efficient way to do that is probably to eliminate all processed/junk foods and eat "clean," but of course that's not always possible (or desirable). So if you're going to have a high insulin index food (most starches and sugars), try to *precede* it with a significant amount of protein (to release glucagon before insulin can block it), combine it with a salad (cellulose from leafy greans, and vinegar in your dressing will both reduce reduce overall glycemic index of a meal), or at the least have it with a good portion of healthy fats (to slow gastric emptying, and prevent a blood sugar crash and further hunger). If you're at all prone to reactive hypoglycemia, the salad part might be tricky though-- I've found I have to be careful with that one myself. (In my case it's okay if there's a significant amount of protein in there though.)

Ideally if you can, combine at least a small amount of healthy fat and protein with each meal or snack and you'll probably stay full for longer too. Personally, I've done the above and *increased* my overall fatty acid intake and I seem to have achieved a lower set-point weight without even exercising at all.