Peri-menopause and life yuck don't mix

I don't post what's going on alot with my daughters...saying out loud, or typing it, makes it so much more real and scary.

My youngest has made it to 5 1/2 months. The ultrasound of little Jonathan showed everything they can see as doing well. He's a big boy already. She's doing better emotionally since seeing him and knowing that all is well in appearance.

It's still a daily struggle of managing her panic (I've no doubt all this has traumatized her), her physical symptoms, her fear for her baby, and her meds.

Her Endo is concerned that her counts haven't stabilized in the second trimester as is normal. That concerns him for the hormonal changes in the third. Will she have to have surgery while pregnant? Will they have to deliver the baby too early if he starts showing the affects of the grave's/hyperthyroidism or gets tachycardia himself?

You would think that once we get this baby here OK it's over right? Wrong. There's a special condition with Grave's post-partum. It's UGLY. She's concerned for her baby and her relationship with him during that time. We're going to ask her doctor if her thyroid can be removed before it begins, or if meds will help there. It's all so scary.

We have no doubt that this pregnancy was a miracle to save daughter's life...how scary. See, Grave's untreated *sometimes* (added later) leads to death. She's had this since she was young with the Grave's Opthalmopathy and no one picked up on it...not dr's, not specialists, not opticians or opthamolgists. She was on the pill and it's supposed to be very difficult to conceive with Grave's and she got pregnant. It showed us the Grave's and the treatment necessary for HER.

There are still many concerns for both daughter and baby until he's safely delivered, then afterwards for her. Her endo now has her carry around emergency paperwork to give ER at the slightest sign of problem...including infection. See, her auto-immune meds can wipe out her white blood count...

During all this my oldest found out she was pregnant and lost it 5 days later. She's now pregnant again, and there are obvious concerns for her.

I just want 6 weeks to pass quickly...my youngest's pregnancy will be to the point where if they have to deliver early, the chances of the baby being OK are better, and with my oldest...she'll be out of her first trimester and maybe I can calm about her pregnancy.

My little man is extremely jealous and I'm working that as best I can.

Me? I'm in peri-menopause and having the hot flashes and lack of sleep. I'm running on empty...all the time...physically and emotionally. It's not going to calm down any time soon, so it's one day at a time.

Now I'm to the question,

Can anyone tell me something that might help with my symptoms so I can be 100% for my girls? I'm more fidgety than a hen on a hot rock after a worm. I have nerve meds I can take, but I detest doing that during the day. I will at night if I have to. They make me tired (even the smallest broken in half). I can't be tired and pissy raising a four year old.

Also, can anyone suggest any good supplements for me. I'm about as drained and tired as a body can be. Thank God for PC...my outlet, my escape, my friends, my positive focus.

Thanks, guys.

KD

Hello Kimmy Dawn. I am sorry you are going through so much at this time. The best things that I have came across for your symptoms are Borage oil and Evening Primrose oil a multivitamin and Biotin. I take 1 capsule of each in the morning for breakfast. and I take 1 capsule of the Evening Primrose Oil and Borage Oil after dinner. Some people also take Fish oil as well to help the symptoms. Take cae and good day. Soidhonia

Oh wow and thanks! I'll look those up!

I've been recommended the Omega3's and will be getting those...also calcium-magnesium for the sleeplessness due to its calming.

thank you!

KD

((((( KimmyDawn ))))))

I got misty as I read your post. Sometimes I wonder why so much can be piled on to one person. You and I came to PC at the same time, and you have always been there for me and countless others. Last week, when I was going through my sadness and needed to cry, just seeing your avatar and reading your words brought on the water works for me. There are certain people who can spark that in me. I think its the comfort thing. I needed that good cry session....and I was so wishing I could just get hug from you. You're like my online mommy.

I wish I knew what to say to bring you some comfort during all of this. You already said you're taking it a day at a time....and that's how I live my life too, so thats exactly what I was going to say. The only other thing I can suggest that might help, is that you will be able to help someone down the road who might be experiencing a similar problem. A mother who might come here worried for her children and soon to be grandchildren, a father who is so scared for his daughter or son, or daughter-in-law or grandson...anytime I experience something difficult, I try to focus my attention on helping others, either right now, which you do every day here, or knowing that what I am walking through will give me experience and strength for the futre. It takes some of the power away from difficult situations when I think about others. Also, by talking it out with us, you're allowing us to help you.....which helps us.

As for the perimenopausal stuff, I don't know much about that, but I do remember when I was on the depo shot, my doctor said it put me into a perimenopausal stage, just becaue of the type of birth control it was. She recommended Estroven. I got the generic version of it, and it seemed to help. Its a supplement with natural stuff, that helped to calm me and even me out. Maybe your doctor can recommend something? Are you seeing anyone of the professional variety during all of this?

I just hope and pray that everything will be ok....how nice it would be to see into the future and know how it will all turn out? Or would it....I just know that no matter what happens, you will be ok.

You and your girls and those babies have an entire online "village" sending up good thoughts or prayers or whatever we all believe....I'm so glad you gave us an update; I think about you and your family often. Please keep posting....it takes some of the burden off of our shoulders to share our pain with others. Let us help to carry you Kimmy. Its great to be strong, but we all need to whither sometimes......

I love you!!!!!!!!!

~Rayna

(((((((( rayna ))))))))))

thank you so much. i know you didn't mean to, but eyes broke open that slow leak when I read that. It seems we've needed each other this week. I've felt so isolated and alone, even though I'm glad that I don't know anyone to relate exactly...though many can in some forms.

I feel... What do I feel? I feel DESPERATE. I'd bargain with anything for my babies and their babies to be ok almost.

Love,

KD

Hmmm, we make each other cry.....I don't know why I see some humor in that, but its a good humor. Can't explain it.....I guess maybe not humor, but relief in knowing that we all have people out there who love us, even though we've never met face-to-face. WoW....what an amazing feeling. I'd bargain too.....its a stage of grief isn't it? Even though no one is lost.....there's still grief in the situation. This kind of stressful situation brings a change to life that we're powerless over, so we grieve the loss of the way life was before the stress. I'd say you're right where you're supposed to be in the grieving process. I pray that you get some piece of mind soon.......

(((Kimmydawn)))

You and your daughters and their babies are in my thoughts and prayers. When I was in peri-menopause I ate soy (veggie burgers & such but there are also tablets you can buy at walmart. Also, a good B complex is recommended for stress. Also, drink lots of water and flush your system. And carry around some wet wipes for those hot hot flashes! Drink chamomile or sleepy time tea at night for relaxation. You can drnk it during the day as well for that matter. Good luck & God bless.

soy, soy, soy...........i did it all with soy products and never ever took HRT.....having had breast cancer, i wasn't about to risk the hormones. tofu, and soy protein powder shakes......that type of stuff.....it worked for me......good luck, pat

This topic has been covered a few times but I think that's in Health Support.

Blue cohosh if you're 40 or younger... black cohosh if your older. EPO Evening primsrose oil... they will pretty much take care of the hot flashes, night sweats, et

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KD, i have recipes for really tasty stuff.

It sounds as if you have ruled out HRT, which is probably a wise thing considering the health risks involved...But here's what I experienced at age 41:
I was having lots of emotional upheaval, and had missed 6 periods. I began experiencing some very frightening health symptoms, like dizzyness, light hurting my eyes to the point of having to wear sunglasses even at work, and extreme depression (though I didn't recognize it as such at the time). I went to many doctors, including a hearing specialist who suggested I might have a brain tumor or Cerebral Palsy! At that time, I also went to my gynecologist, who immediately diagnosed my menopause. Prior to that, I had had many years of perimenopausal symptoms that I had just tried to live with. He put me on HRT, and it was like a miracle drug...truly. At the same time, my GP diagnosed my depression and put me on Prozac, which also helped my thinking immensely. In the past 4 years, I went of fhe HRT, now age 56, but I don't regret for a minute taking the hormones at the time, which I took for over 10 years. I don't regret taking it one bit, as it was very beneficial.
About HRT, though, I should add, that my mother, who had never taken hormone supplements, started taking Primarin a few years ago, and within a year, was diagnosed with breast cancer. After that, my sister (2 years younger) and I both stopped HRT. Since then, she has resumed taking the HRT. I have not, and have not felt any adverse side effects at my age. I don't think it hurt me when I took it in my 40's with early menopause, but would not do so now.
I took Estrace.
Patty