[x_BabyG_x]

Before I go on, any men that are lurking around this thread, I know it's a women only support group bur I really rather encourage you to either express your honest opinions or just pm me with your thoughts!

I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now. I am pretty open and comfortable with him in bed, but when I'm on top I seem to freeze as the same darn scenario happens every time I have my way with him...

I get on top, I do my best ( and get in the moment because I absolutely love the angle).... Then he stops me, pins me down, tells me not to move, then thrusts at me like there's no tomorrow until he comes (usually takes him about 20 seconds?)

This is SO frustrating, not to mention hurtful towards me, as it makes me feel like for 1. I'm not good enough in bed, 2. The end goal for him seems to be just to relieve himself, and 3. Makes me feel inadequate because I don't 'f**k like a porn star'.

I understand that what in doing may not feel 100% right for him, as when I'm on top i mainly concentrate on letting myself go and doing what is right for me, but am I really that bad he has to just take over?

It's knocking my confidence that much that I'm beginning to doubt my abilities to please him, and That him not speaking out about me clearly not satisfying him is making me feel like he's thinking that I don't know what I'm doing. Does that make sense?

I'm frustrated, upset and my self esteem is just shattered.

[mazing]

Sex can be such a tricky thing to navigate to make sure that both people feel comfortable.

Are you able to talk to him about how you are feeling and what has happened? There may be a good chance that he doesn't realise that it upsets you.

[emwell]

I agree.
I would definitely talk to him about this.
Sharing your thoughts and feelings with him just might make the sex even better.

[x_BabyG_x]

I came to the conclusion that the only way to solve this was to actually open up and talk to him.

I struggle with that. A lot. Opening up about almost anything petrifies me and it usually ends in me either getting defensive and having a go/causing a massive drama for no reason or saying something/agreeing with something I wasn't meant to and then walking away and realising 'well that didn't actually solve anything did it?' Before carrying on and never getting around to talking about ever again.

I guess I'm just scared of him turning around and saying "it's because you do not satisfy me, woman."

I'm such a wimp.

[unaluna]

It looks to me like he gets to a point where he knows he is close to his end, and he just goes for it then. Its not a criticism of you. It probably comes from his having spent a lot of time by himself, KWIM.

The only thing i might complain about is, when is it your turn, if he is changing position and finishing without regard to your satisfaction?