How do you know if you want kids?

TishaBuv · Mar 10, 2016 at 08:22 PM

I always just knew I would have kids. I never would have thought it was an option not to get married and have kids. I remember my best friend started saying in high school that she never wanted to have kids, and I thought she was just in a phase (although I didn't say that to her). She never did have kids. I couldn't even relate to feeling that way. I just felt like it was part of the circle of life, that I am supposed to reproduce.

notthisagain · Mar 27, 2016 at 03:36 PM

To be honest, I've never had this burning desire to have kids, but I think it would be a good idea for both you and your BF to ask yourselves this: what is it about kids that I want, or think I want? Wanting kids in the abstract is very different from being fully aware of all of the challenges that raising them entails and wanting to have them anyway. And, is he thinking of the impact to a child to have older parents? Is he going to want to chase around someone in their terrible twos when he is 52? He's going to be a senior citizen when they graduate high school. It's an irrevocable decision, moreso than marriage. Think it through carefully.

RomanSunburn · Mar 28, 2016 at 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notthisagain

is he thinking of the impact to a child to have older parents? Is he going to want to chase around someone in their terrible twos when he is 52? He's going to be a senior citizen when they graduate high school. It's an irrevocable decision, moreso than marriage. Think it through carefully.

I just want to point out that having kids later in life does have some benefits. My FIL was 52 when my husband was born. He was a senior citizen and retired for the majority of my husband's childhood. But that meant my FIL was free to go to every one of my husband's games or track meets. He was very present in my husband's life growing up, and I know my husband appreciated it a lot.

I'm not trying to sway the OP one way or the other, especially since she hasn't responded since October. I just wanted to point out there are positives and negatives to having kids later in life. This is definitely a decision that should be thought through seriously and carefully.

Pretzelle · Mar 29, 2016 at 05:55 PM

A lot of people are waiting until they are older to have children these days. And with advances in medical technology, you're still going to be okay even if you decide to wait until your 40s to have kids.

Personally, I never really thought about having kids or cared much. I like kids, but I don't know how to really interact with them. I'm scared too, mainly because I feel like I wouldn't know what to do with them. I don't want to be that crappy, clueless parent that everyone talks about.

88Butterfly88 · Apr 02, 2016 at 08:49 AM

Remember you can always adopt if you become too old to have kids on your own. Don't rush into anything if you don't feel ready.

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88Butterfly88 Moderator Community Support Team Member Since Dec 2015 Location: New Jersey Posts: 54,220 (SuperPoster!) 8 10.5k hugs given	Apr 02, 2016 at 08:49 AM #45 Remember you can always adopt if you become too old to have kids on your own. Don't rush into anything if you don't feel ready.
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