[LiteraryLark]

I know this is not a physical issue as I've been to the ob/gyn and my lady parts are all normal.

I've never been comfortable enough with anyone to orgasm, and I am currently dating/sorta/kinda in a relationship with T whom I've known for two years now. We had sex for the first time and it was great. I've had casual sex and hated it, but sex with T was good even though I did not orgasm.

When he was performing oral sex it started to feel good, but when the feelings intensified it started to make me feel really uncomfortable, like it was too much. It was a feeling like I wanted to pee or and almost like a feeling of pain or discomfort.

The same could be said for intercourse. He's pretty big and I like that, and I think he could have used some lube but once the orgasmic feelings started it became really uncomfortable.

Any ideas why?

[healingme4me]

Maybe overthinking it or overstimulated? Not really sure, otherwise.

[TheWell]

The best way to figure out your own body is to masterbate. Before I was having orgasms I also felt the over intense feeling, having to pee, etc, If intercourse is going on too long you will dry out. Some times it's good to get him part of the way there in some other way and finish with intercourse so it doesn't last too long.
Good luck.

[unaluna]

Read up on Bartolin's glands.

[norwegianwoman]

Good to know I am not alone! I masturbate quite a lot, and I usually orgasm then (although I do not directly touch the clitoris, I usually just rub stuff against it when I masturbate), but for some reason it's different with sex. Especially oral sex, I always want to stop it when it gets so close to climax it starts being uncomfortable. It is annoying, because I think it holds me back from great orgasms.

I talked to a friend about this, and she used to have the same problem. She figured it was a control freak thing, and a trust issue. We are both usually very in-control women who subconsciously probably reject giving up control the way a strong orgasm demands. This might be part of the problem. And it is a trust issue in that trusting our partner is essential. You describe in your post that you haven't really felt that comfortable with your sex partners, and this is probably key. My friend has been in two long-time relationships before, and had many casual sex partners (many times more than my amount), but this time it's different. It's a more mature relationship and she trusts her partner completely. She says she does not have this problem anymore after being with him, so thus the trust issue is probably a big part of it. If you don't feel relaxed during sex, you will also subconsciously tighten your muscles more and this makes direct clitoris stimulation uncomfortable.

It might also be that you are just really sensitive down there, "over-sensitive." I have been wondering if I am, also as I never masturbate by touching myself directly at the clit either. It's just "too much" in a way. I have to stimulate it, but not necessarily directly, it can be too strong of a sensation.