I think my husband wants a divorce.....

I am not even sure where to start, basicaly what happens for me is a vicious circle. I dont even know the appropriate place to post this :/ inevetably I fail at all else I do so what would be the difference now.
I am sure my husband has had enough, I mean who wants to be married to a woman who has that many problems she cant function. Everything has gotten to the point wher I dont want to care but I care too much. I am throwing up every single day at the moment the second I start to feel any emotions outside of completely normal things.
The moment I think about my marriage, or my work, or any social event coming up, I get this insane pain and nautious feeling, then I start shaking and crying and then before I know it Im hugging the toilet bowl.
I know that a marriage isnt going to be perfect, that it will have its ups and downs, good times and bad. I am fully aware of how normal relationships work, and I think thats where the probelm is with this marriage. I can see it crashing and burning right infront of me but I have absolutely no way to stop it.
My husband is fully aware of all of my problems and issues, my triggers and the things that are harder for me but shouldn't be. Yet any time I try to bring a problem up or try to have any semi-serious conversation with my husband he doesnt want a bar of it. I have tried everything, from not talking and just acting like nothings going on, I have tried approaching him without being upset or angry or anything.
I tried to talk to him and he was actualy talking to me, but he told me that there is nothing wrong with our marriage, nothing wrong with our relationship that it is all in my head and that I need to get ove it because this is what our marriage is like.
I dont get it... How can anyone believe that a "healthy marriage" is not talking to each other, not touching each other, not discussing the future, not having joint money, not having joint assets, sleeping alone, doing everything alone, to me that is not anything at all like a marriage.
To me it sounds more like an awkward housemates relationship.
Maybe I just have some misconception on what a marriage is meant to be.
I always thought a marriage was two people who truly love each other, and want to see each other happy, a couple who share their wishes hopes and dreams as well as their struggles and fears together. Two people who select eachother out of all the other people in the world, and they chose to be together forever.
I thought a marriage contained intamicy and affection, kind words and support.
Doesnt feel like my marriage contains any of these.

I feel lost, and empty at the same time, I never wanted to give up on our marriage but I just cant see the sense in fighting for something I am the only one who wants to keep alive.
He has said he is 100% contenet and happy with his life right now, it doesnt bother him that the only thing he says to me each day is MORNING: "gotta go to work now bye" AFTERNOON: one of the following words "busy, boring or quiet" NIGHT: one of the following words or statements "donuts, i dont know, just have a little rest" - He is happy to come to bed 4 hours after me, sleep with his back to me, get up before me - He is happy to spend all his time when he is not at work, alseep - He is happy to text, call and tell his friends and brothers everything but tell me nothing - He is happy to not have sex - he is happy to not hugs, kiss, hold hands, cuddle , just not touch in general -

Whats the point in being with me if you are going to ignore me all the time?

It doesnt do much for my self estem when my every attempt to have any kind of intimacy or physical contact, with my husband is rejected.

I feel like rubbish when I cant even go to him to talk about things.

This is more just me writting my feelings and thoughts and me questions.
You can reply if you like, but no need to also.

Thank for listening if you made it to the end.
xx

I made it to the end. I feel empathy for you. I am happily married and my husband knows me well. He is an unemotional man and doesn't show feelings very often at all. But I am not effusive either. So we suit each other well. There were times, some recent, in our almost 12 year marriage, where I felt sorely lacking in affection and attention from him. Things had to come to a head before we even spoke about that. It got better for a time, then went back to "normal". Now I have given up drinking and he is more affectionate than ever.

I don't even know what to suggest to you as your husband seems so emotionally unavailable to you. I can understand how lonely that must be.

I just want you to know that I listened and that I care. Please write as much as you want in order to vent and maybe feel less alone.

I'm so sorry, ifonlyyouknewme. It sounds like you are terribly neglected, and that must feel so lonely. I'm sorry your husband does not seem to realize the pain he's causing you. I'm sure you've told him just how much it hurts.

My relationship with my ex-husband was like this. Nothing changed because it worked for him. I'm not suggesting it won't change in your relationship, just that I can identify and I understand how painful and lonely it can feel.

ifonlyyouknewme, from what you've posted it sounds to me like it is your husband, not you, who has a screwy idea of what marriage is. A wife is not the same thing as a room-mate, after all.

Thats exactly it I think, i can try to talk to him and express my feelings until I am black and Blue in the face but nothing ever changes. And then when I just dont bother anymore he makes me feel like all our problems are my fault.
Who knows how this will play out, I certainly cant forsee us being together for much longer unless something changes, and sadly I have run out of idea of how to imporve our marriage.
Its now all in his hands, if he is content and happy with the way things are and does not see an issue nor a reason for imporvement then I guess its just a matter of time before we crash and burn.
If he decides we are worth fighting for and pulls his act together then theres hope yet for us.
untill then I guess what ever happens will happen.

Is it possible that your husband is depressed? You say he is happy to spend all non-work time asleep. That is not normal.

Have you asked him if he would participate in couple's therapy? Even if he doesn't perceive himself to have a problem it might help your marriage.

I feel your pain.. I am going through the exact same thing in my marriage. Wish I could say something to help. For now sending a HUG your way.

It doesn't sound like he wants a divorce as much as it does sound like he is just not there. My fiance gets like that when the baby subject comes up or when I am not on my meds. He says talking to me when I am not on meds is like talking to Dr. Jeckle and Miss Hyde. That I am 100% different on my meds and 100% different when I am off them.

I feel for you and while I don't know why your husband ignores you, I feel your pain. I hope the two of you can work things out, but that will require him to recognize there is a problem. If he is unwilling to try couple's counseling can you get a therapist of your own? Also, I think you should see your doctor and tell him about your vomiting and the reasons behind it. I'm concerned for your health and I hope you find peace of mind.