[DocJohn]

Hi folks,

While this is indeed a forum and safe place for women to post about their own thoughts and reflections on their own recovery and interactions with members of the opposite sex, I would remind members to try and err on the side of being respectful of that opposite gender.

You can express your opinions about others without resorting to gross characterizations or generalizations that really are meaningless. I would never refer to any large group (and certainly not one that constitutes 50 percent of the population) with a generalization that doesn't capture the complexities of them. I would ask you not to either.

This isn't meant primarily as a place to vent, but rather a place to better understand our interactions with the other opposite sex and to share our own insights and thoughts along those lines.

Thanks for your cooperation and understanding.

DocJohn

[lizardlady]

Thanks for the reminder DocJohn.

You make me think of an unpleasant realization I made about myself many years ago. I used to really bash "men." Then one day I really listened to myself. I asked myself what I would think if someone else spoke that way about a racial group. I changed my ways right then and there. No group of people are all (fill in the blank). It's just as prejudicial to talk about "men" as a group as it is any other group.

Huh...
I guess I never noticed this...

[scorpiosis37]

I can't recall any men bashing on this forum either. Granted, I don't read it every day, but the recent threads seem to be mostly about menopause, pelvic floor issues, and bras. I have noticed a lot of sexism and women-bashing on the "Relationships and Communication" forum, though. It's a continuous problem there. Certainly, I don't think any gender should be painted with a "one size fits all" brush: male, female, genderqueer, etc (gender isn't binary so I won't say "opposite"). Reinforcing stereotypes or bashing any group of people is never helpful to anyone.

[unaluna]

I was puzzled at first about why we received this message now. Then i remembered there was some discussion recently (maybe in tech support?) asking admin to do something about recent women bashing in the men only forum. So i would presume this gentle reminder lets us know what was done.

[BlueCrustacean]

Something tells me the only reason this was put up on the women's forum was just to keep things equal, because at least a few gender-bashing incidents have happened on the men's forum, and I haven't seen anything like that happening on the women's forum. Even the response on the other thread's note says it all.

[ChipperMonkey]

Yes, just wander over to the men's forum and you'll understand why these notices have been posted.

[Artchic528]

I agree with what has been said. I see that most of the bashing of genders is in the men's forum and they think what DocJohn said is little more than a joke.

Not what I call a very nice response to the kind reminder he posted there.

[Artchic528]

Yup.....gonna leave some cheese over there in the guy's forum....they sure have enough whine.

[ChipperMonkey]

Eh, that bad over there? Kinda makes me curious....

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

Eh, that bad over there? Kinda makes me curious....

Just look at the thread DocJohn made.

[ChipperMonkey]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Just look at the thread DocJohn made.

I get this picture in my mind of redneck guys in clothes that haven't been washed in weeks, sitting around a beat up old pick up truck, scratching themselves, spitting, and saying "heh heh heh never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die!" and then all of his redneck friends start high-fiving each other.

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

I get this picture in my mind of redneck guys in clothes that haven't been washed in weeks, sitting around a beat up old pick up truck, scratching themselves, spitting, and saying "heh heh heh never trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die!" and then all of his redneck friends start high-fiving each other.

OMG....so true....

[unaluna]

Y'all missed the point, boys - im sure its only the first time - but the problem with the "infamous thread" is that its rude thread title was showing up on the index pages, which all humans must view, stabbing at us indiscriminately and unawares; not the content of the posts, wherein men must be free to explore their innermost feelings, and which the true woman honors, dare i say celebrates? If we itch, do we not scratch?

I actually commented in the men's thread. It was removed.

I comment in all the forum's. I left NPD because I hurt someone's fragile ego. I have a hard time with the "trigger" concept. I understand about the idea of support forums, but I feel respectful questions are good for all the forums.

I felt that way about the NEWS forum too.

Oh well. Rules are rules and I understand without them this site could not exist.

[LiteraryLark]

What the hell? Seriously? I'm so speechless after reading the men's comments...Maybe I should go back to dating women...

[ChipperMonkey]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

What the hell? Seriously? I'm so speechless after reading the men's comments...Maybe I should go back to dating women...

I prefer to believe it's the far minority who are disgruntled yet their voices drown out the rest. It's like this with everything.

And by the way, when I went to the men's forum for the t and tires thread, I didn't ***** to the mods. I tried to talk to them rationally.

I said if you have a problem with the 2 ts, replace them seasonally instead of abusing them and wearing them down. It was a light hearted joke to let them know I thought they were being hard on the ts.

At the time, I didn't know women were not supposed to comment. That is why I made the above thread about replying in all forums so you can get to know how other people think.

[LiteraryLark]

Bashing men or women in a "private" forum is not supportive nor helpful. Mods need to be on top of removing these posts, because it's outrageous to slander someone thinking it's okay because they know the other are not allowed to report it. That's BULL.

[ChipperMonkey]

I'm SO cracking up at how they've noticed my *ball scratching* remark. Well, TBH, my mind never would have conjured up such an image without that lovely tyts and tyres thread. I mean c'mon, doesn't it sound like the title of a country song? Ok, I am going to be nice, but I did want to point out the hypocrisy of telling ladies to keep it classy.....long after the tyts and tyres thread was posted. And honestly, I was just trying to be funny. I wasn't insulting any specific guy. It was a random remark.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

Bashing men or women in a "private" forum is not supportive nor helpful. Mods need to be on top of removing these posts, because it's outrageous to slander someone thinking it's okay because they know the other are not allowed to report it. That's BULL.

That wasnt the point. It was that "tits and tires" was showing up on the main index pages day after day and couldnt be avoided. That was just insulting and crude.

And problematic posts can always be reported.

[sabby]

Originally Posted by LiteraryLark

Bashing men or women in a "private" forum is not supportive nor helpful. Mods need to be on top of removing these posts, because it's outrageous to slander someone thinking it's okay because they know the other are not allowed to report it. That's BULL.

I'm sorry LiteraryLark but what you say is not correct. Anyone can report any post or thread in any forum. The only thing you cannot do is post in the Men's forum if you are a female or in the Women's forum if you are a male. Reporting posts is a-okay to do.

Also folks, please remember that when you report posts, it may take some time for the team to act on them (if we deem an action should be taken) as there needs to be some discussion between team members on the subject.

I'd also like to remind ya'll that the whole idea of this thread is to let you know that gross generalizations regarding a sector of society is not appropriate for supportive discussion.

[LiteraryLark]

Originally Posted by unaluna

That wasnt the point. It was that "tits and tires" was showing up on the main index pages day after day and couldnt be avoided. That was just insulting and crude.

And problematic posts can always be reported.

I don't view the men's forum...so I am unaware of this thread.

Lawd-A-Mercy! & Whew Gawd! ... After reading some of this, I'm glad I'm just a Pfrog!

[BlueCrustacean]

Originally Posted by sabby

I'd also like to remind ya'll that the whole idea of this thread is to let you know that gross generalizations regarding a sector of society is not appropriate for supportive discussion.

When did we do such a thing here? A handful of individual men over on the men's forum seem to be absolutely gobsmacked by such an inhibiting idea as not being degrading and sexist towards women. It's almost as if they had never even considered it before. Some even loudly and plainly express hateful misogyny because of "abuse from the past". Might want to start there.

Pointing out that there's a pervading attitude that's problematic on a board is not the same as generalizing half the planet. Although misogyny IS a pervading attitude the whole planet is suffering from.