[TishaBuv]

Did any one else's mother slap them across the face the first time they got their period and say "You're a woman now!"?

My mom did this to me. I had just turned 12 and I got my period for the first time. I told my mom that I just got my period. She gave me a firm slap across the face. I stood there stunned mumbling "Why'd you do that?" She said she did it for good luck.

[spring2014]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Did any one else's mother slap them across the face the first time they got their period and say "You're a woman now!"?

My mom did this to me. I had just turned 12 and I got my period for the first time. I told my mom that I just got my period. She gave me a firm slap across the face. I stood there stunned mumbling "Why'd you do that?" She said she did it for good luck.

my mom never slap me on the face.I started having my period at 9 years old .im now in menopause now ..

[Artchic528]

Oh wow. My first period was nothing like that. I remember waking up one morning and seeing the stains in my panties when I went to pee. I nearly fell off the toilet. I was a late bloomer, according to my pediatrition and even my endocrinologist (I was diagnosed with Growth Hormone Deficiency when I was 12, so I saw an endocrinologist regularly), and was sort of thinking I'd never get it, but I got it when I was 14, a week before starting my freshman year of high school.

I was beyond relieved to finally get my period, and before I even started high school. I felt normal for the first time in a long time. All three years in middle school, other girls kept exclaiming about their first periods, and I couldn't wait to have mine, feeling that something was abnormal about me because I hadn't had mine yet. I even started looking up medical conditions to see if I had anything that would prevent me from having periods. Lol.

So yeah, I felt mine was past due.

I remember going to my mom and saying "I think I had my first period, but I'm not sure." When I explained what I saw in the bathroom, she said something along the lines of "Okay, we'll go and get some pads.".

So yeah, maybe it's something your mother had done to her, and her mother had done to her. A tradition of sorts. I do hope she didn't hit you to terribly hard though. Leaving a mark on your face isn't slightly in the least.

[TishaBuv]

Yes, it was a tradition. I guess a Romanian thing from the old country.

When she told me I was now a woman, I really believed it. I guess she meant I could get pregnant. She never talked to me about sex.

[Artchic528]

Never did my mom. In fact, she was so flustered about explaining where babies come from that she used a friends medical book to help explain it. I remember being handed the book given an awkward explenation and told if I had any questions, to look at the book. Thank god for biology class, a special educational class in 5th grade, and that medical book or I would have never figured it out.

[CRJSAHM]

Wow. Never heard of anyone doing that. I remember where I was but not how old when I got my first period. If my mom had slugged me I probably would remember.

[WhatDayIsItAgain]

I am so sorry you were smacked on the face. I was wondering if your mom was triggered about something in her past and she reacted that way because you are a "younger" version of her in the past. She directly displayed abuse of the new "woman"... jealousy of your youth and potential for a future life while she is "old" perhaps? Your development is normal but her extreme reaction is ... wow... so wrong.

Have a great day *anyway* today!

No slapping here. We celebrated with cake.

Something you might find funny.. high doses of AP's prevented me from having my period. A while after lowering my dose, I had a period again. Pdoc (male): How nice you're having a period again! Me: Easy for you to say..

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by WhatDayIsItAgain

I am so sorry you were smacked on the face. I was wondering if your mom was triggered about something in her past and she reacted that way because you are a "younger" version of her in the past. She directly displayed abuse of the new "woman"... jealousy of your youth and potential for a future life while she is "old" perhaps? Your development is normal but her extreme reaction is ... wow... so wrong.

Have a great day *anyway* today!

No, she just did it because it's some strange family tradition.

[Patagonia]

My mom said "well you're a woman now" then picked up the phone to tell my grandmother & aunts.
Then handed me the Kotex booklet with the flower on the front that explained how to use a pad.
After the phone calls & humiliation she explained to me how to wash blood out & do my own wash. That's about it.
Thank god I didn't do that to my own girls.

[baseline]

My experience was not good. I got it at 10. I had no idea what the heck it was. When I told mom she had to ask a neighbor for a pad which mortified me. No explanation just a pad and a warning that I could get pregnant! I had a sister 11 years older than me and she never bothered to tell me or teach me or console me. When my younger sister got hers I was the one to help her. I vowed that my girls would never feel afraid or ashamed of their bodies and womanhood. My mother would bind my breasts to try and stop them from growing. It was such a horrible feeling to know I brought shame to her.

[TishaBuv]

Bind your breasts-- that's so off for her to be like that. That must have done some psychological damage to you.

[baseline]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Bind your breasts-- that's so off for her to be like that. That must have done some psychological damage to you.

YES Tish, I learned that my body was shameful and the cause of unwanted attention. It caused me fear and shame and social anxiety. I also felt cheap and dirty when that unwanted attention was given. It was painful and humiliating to me.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by baseline

YES Tish, I learned that my body was shameful and the cause of unwanted attention. It caused me fear and shame and social anxiety. I also felt cheap and dirty when that unwanted attention was given. It was painful and humiliating to me.

I met you last night in Doc John's live chat. Looks like we both have issues that carry into our marriages as well.

[TishaBuv]

I learned my body was my form of currency. "She's got legs and knows how to use them". That's what "you're a woman now" meant.

[Molinit]

I had to call mine at work to tell her and she said "well I don't know what you want me to do about that now."

When she got home she threw a box of pads on my bed and that was that.

[baseline]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I met you last night in Doc John's live chat. Looks like we both have issues that carry into our marriages as well.

Hi Tishabuv, Yes I thought we had some things in common I hope we get to talk again. I hope to see you in chat!

[healingme4me]

No slapping of the face here nor any big to do, that I recall. I was 12, I was at my grandmother's and we were preparing for a road trip to Connecticut for April vacation. She had this look on her face that said oh boy, right here? Right now? I say that because that would be my reaction with a grandchild..expect the unexpected. She had some overnight sized pads from my great grams old bedroom. Glad for the overnight protection. Those books and nurses talk about oh it's really not that much. Wanna bet?

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Yes, it was a tradition. I guess a Romanian thing from the old country.

When she told me I was now a woman, I really believed it. I guess she meant I could get pregnant. She never talked to me about sex.

I think it might be a Jewish thing. Aren't you? My mom did the same thing.
And my mom never raised her hand otherwise.

I couldn't bring it to do to my daughter though. I don't recall what I said or did. I just recall she said she doesn't want big pads but want tampons

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by divine1966

I think it might be a Jewish thing. Aren't you? My mom did the same thing.
And my mom never raised her hand otherwise.

I couldn't bring it to do to my daughter though. I don't recall what I said or did. I just recall she said she doesn't want big pads but want tampons

Yes! You are the first other person who has ever heard of it! Isn't it weird?

I'm glad I had boys.

I started mine at eleven, right after school started. My best friend had started some four months earlier. My mom babied her; hot water bottle, a box of pads and tampons, chocolate ice cream. When I started, I tried to tell her, but she was busy at work. So I found the tampons under the sink and used them. It was not until my third period when I had to ask for more tampons that she found out. She just kinda stared at me and asked if I had any questions. I said no; I was so afraid of her at times, and I hated to bother her because she would guilt me for days afterwards. Gees, I am so glad I never had a daughter.

[Melodysmooth]

No, I sort of wish she did though..being the youngest of three girls, my mom always treated me like a child, I think she never wanted me to grow up or make me realize that I was. I got mine at 13 and it was pretty normal, almost as if we were all expecting it to arrive.
Me: "Hey mom, I got my period woohoo"
Mom: "Yay..we'll get some pads later on"

That was about it.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Melodysmooth

No, I sort of wish she did though..being the youngest of three girls, my mom always treated me like a child, I think she never wanted me to grow up or make me realize that I was. I got mine at 13 and it was pretty normal, almost as if we were all expecting it to arrive.
Me: "Hey mom, I got my period woohoo"
Mom: "Yay..we'll get some pads later on"

That was about it.

I'm the baby, too, and was always treated like I didn't matter.

[Patagonia]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I'm the baby, too, and was always treated like I didn't matter.

I was the youngest of 6. My mom had her first when she was 19yo. She had me when she was 33yo. We grew up w/different parents & by the time I got older both my parents were exhausted, nasty to ea other & sick of being parents

[healingme4me]

I was scrolling through my newsfeed, this morning, while having my coffee and saw this. Good follow up on such a thread.

http://motto.time.com/4450581/shame-...alflow_twitter

Title:Teaching Girls to Have Shame-Free Periods


>>>but you don’t have to do this for a living to see that the debilitating effects of this shaming go far beyond the embarrassment of “the talk” in elementary school.

For girls around the world, period taboos severely limit access to education and the ability to maintain sound reproductive health. In India, for example, a 2010 study found that over*300 million*reproductive-age women and girls use old rags, mattress filling or whatever else they could find during their periods in lieu of sanitary products<<<

I remember hearing about the rag bucket. So thankful that the women in my family didn't shame, generation to generation.