FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
(SuperPoster!)
20 23 hugs
given |
#1
I put on my makeup today. I stood back and though, "Not too bad for an over-forty, under-fifty grandmother times two to be!"
I noticed the fine lines and brushed them off with, "I've laughed alot, and winced against many a bright sun...cool." I then looked at the gray that's getting more each day and rationalized, "I've earned every gray hair in this head! I've always been a natural blond and my hair looks better lighter!" I'd reasoned and rationalized till I looked at myself in the mirror with a satisfaction. Feeling confident, I walked out and got dressed...a cute little form fitting T-shirt with athletic stretch slacks...young but not too young for me I felt. I looked in the full-length mirror at the end result, still feeling pretty good about myself. I then turned sideways! Now, there is no reasoning to diminsh, or no rationalizing to justify, the the horror I felt! Um, when did my butt become my belly and my belly become my butt? Oh my gosh, what would make me look better again? Situps? That might flatten my belly some. What then? I'd be a board? Well, I could get the panties with the inserts to match my padded, unwire bra? I could then get a girdle to flatten the rest of my tummy but would I then have to put the padded panties over the girdle??? What is the answer??? Oh, surgery...I could have a lipo here, implants here, a lift there? How many surgeries would I need? I got it! I'd only need one... My belly's become my butt and visa versa, fat pads are developing on my shoulder blades and back (heck I could use a bra back there too). One procedure would do it...just turn my head around! Seriously, it would work? My butt's getting flatter by the day. That would work quicker than any sit ups or crunches. My belly has the fat in just the right places...just under my belly button and on either side of my incision (natural looking crack there). That would pass for a nice looking butt in clothes! I could wear the bra for the fat pads on my shoulder blades. Shoot, those are higher and almost as full as my boobs...not much longer and surely I'll be a B or C cup? Take the bra of in the front and let gravity take its course. While we're at it, and just to "ice the cake", the doctor could take the unsightly dimples from my thighs and put them in my cheeks for old youthful look. Yep, I think I've found the answer for my growing older and look 20 again with one procedure! KD __________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Feb 2005
Location: Southwest of Northeast
Posts: 33,346
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,304 hugs
given |
#2
Oh my goodness Kimmy, I think you have come up with the best answer for lots of us "mature" women!! This is just too funny......thank you so much for your wonderful outlook on this age old (no pun intended) problem! Now I only have a few words of encouragement for you - Step away from the mirror please.....step away!!! |
Reply With Quote |
Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Ga
Posts: 13,936
20 34 hugs
given |
#3
ok if they can do that I wonder if they could just transplant a new body onto my head? hehe
__________________ He who angers you controls you! |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2005
Location: Kansas
Posts: 3,841
18 |
#4
New feet please!
EJ |
Reply With Quote |
Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
(SuperPoster!)
20 23 hugs
given |
#5
Hehehe.
Thanks, guys. But, umm, where's the, "You're exaggerating, KD!" LOLOL. KD __________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Feb 2005
Location: Southwest of Northeast
Posts: 33,346
(SuperPoster!)
19 6,304 hugs
given |
#6
*Looks through her crystal ball to see what KD really looks like*
OMG....of course you are exaggerating!! My gosh woman if I looked like you I would be in 7th heaven! Hugsss J |
Reply With Quote |
Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
(SuperPoster!)
20 23 hugs
given |
#7
Ahh, thank you, kind lady. I think you look WONDERFUL as well.
KD __________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Q&A Leader
Member Since Jan 2006
Location: Here
Posts: 94,092
(SuperPoster!)
18 4,001 hugs
given |
#8
Thanks for the laugh! __________________ Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
Reply With Quote |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2003
Location: Coram Deo
Posts: 35,474
(SuperPoster!)
20 1,651 hugs
given |
#9
and... we have heard from admin Very funny (((KD)))
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
(SuperPoster!)
20 23 hugs
given |
#10
hehehehehehehe.
Of course, like a dream or good FICTION novel, that started with a little bit of reality and imagination took over from there... Of course, yes. That's it... Seriously, I was in a good mood today...a light mood. I did think that about my belly/butt...how that whole thing is beginning and confused me when I was a little girl, then had some fun with it. hehe. KD __________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Poohbah
Member Since Nov 2006
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,395
18 3 hugs
given |
#11
Too funny KD!!!!!!
I've lost 38 lbs recently and you know what my daughter said to me when she got home from her trip?? She said, "wow, mom, a few more pounds and your stomach will stick out less than your butt." Was that a compliment? Okie __________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Pirate Goddess
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: South Jersey, USA
Posts: 5,246
19 513 hugs
given |
#12
Great idea, KimmyDawn!
Incidentally, they just talked on 20/20 about how many parents buy their daughters breast implants as graduation gifts, and other topics about plastic and cosmetic surgery. One crazy woman went to Costa Rica to save money, and ended up with problems (including an infection that nearly killed her--however, to be fair, they said it's not uncommon for her to have infections after any surgery), and everything she had done needs to be redone. She's considering going back to the same doctor because she can't afford an American doctor. I get the desire to change your looks through surgery, but you can't play around with that stuff! I'm not saying there aren't good doctors overseas, but I'd be really hesitant, especially about certain countries, and when we're talking about getting your body cut up, that's not where you should be looking for a bargain! __________________ Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights |
Reply With Quote |
Legendary
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: ohio, us
Posts: 15,446
(SuperPoster!)
20 23 hugs
given |
#13
hehehehehe, okie, oh and congrats!!!! about 7-8 years ago, i lost 87 (coming off of meds and stuff). I got a little too thin, put on about 15 and have stayed there since. That's why I'm kinda ticked at age right now.
wowow, maven! I hope she's ok...no, i have no desire for surgery. I was just having some fun. Now, if I'm being honest, the only surgery I would consider is if I get the BAD turkey neck that runs on both sides prematurely. If it comes with age, fine. I've always told everyone that I'll just have them pull it and tuck it up behind my big ears to hide it. If I'm being serious I wouldn't do that either, though. I've made fun out of this really. I have two grandchildren coming and am viewing myself differently and added some humor to it. I all honesty, I need to lose about 6 lbs and do sit ups!!! KD __________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Pirate Goddess
Member Since Oct 2005
Location: South Jersey, USA
Posts: 5,246
19 513 hugs
given |
#14
I usually sit up when I'm watching TV. Hasn't made me lose any pounds, though.
In all seriousness, I've been eating a lot more veggies and nuts, and less junk. I hope to cut back even more on the junk, but I'm happy I've made an improvement. __________________ Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights |
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Forum | |||
Desensitization Procedure | Self-Help Ideas and Goal Setting |