Don't tell me you're busy!

It sux. I think most decent ppl have had "that friend" at some point In their life i.mean sometimes it is just that ppls lives go different directions and they dift apart...but if I'm reading ur post correctly this now former friend is one of those who claims the bestie title, but is only really there when it suits them.. the kinda "fair weather social climbers" who keep telling u to call them, we gotta do something soon...with no real intentions of actually getting together or even answering the phone..until they need something from you or their "Beyer plans, with cooler ppl" fall thru and they find themselves alone and bored... yeah, I've had a few. Everyone just Loves them thinks they are the end all...got thousands of FB friends..annoyingly get 209likes on a post that if you wrote possibly 5ppl might give a crap... The thing that bothers me most about these fake ***** ppl is that for some unknown reason others just don't see how ingenuine they actually are and these types actually tend to do fairly well both socially and in careers!! I have a sibling who is one of these personality types too.. it is obnoxious..bc..they basically just collect ppl. Now these types of people may be "normal" to some, but to me, it's not jealousy..it's not they are too busy..although ppl like this generally do not ever try to have a free moment. They can not be alone ever. They need to be surrounded by ppl, who are praising them for how awesome amazing selfless they are..they often see them selves,as martyrs. ...they really think they are infallible and they are generally given enough positive feedback to back up their warped views of themselves and others. Not all ppl who have lots of friends are well liked and respected are like the few I am speaking about... a lot of ppl are well liked and completely genuine... but the difference lays in their true at the core motives...which they can easily forget bc they get away with it...they are not selfless or genuine.. they only truly care about others wanting needing adoring them.. They don't really care about friends they need fans! These ppl are extremely sneakily malnipulative..so much that to most it goes completely undetected..that is until that person becomes their next target... so they collect ppl and these ppl go into 3 maybe 4 categories....1. The group they treat like gold (generally who ever they see as their next ladder rung), but a few true friends as well they always treat like gold..this shows they can't possibly be shallow.or have alterative motives.. 2. The ppl who they "knew" (collected) from different times and areas. They pay just enough attention to this group for them to still always remember them fondly, but really they are just the lrg pool fb / travel fan base. They feed off of and further back that look how many ppl I am still friends with..they will play up these friendships so they basically have a person who believes they are still bffs in every port. They will call them when they are in their area and spend just enough time to gather photo evidence of how many ppl worldwide love them. But they use a couple of hrs worth if reel to fabricate a whole weekend they spent with so and so in Pheonix.. Did i mention these types are also pathological liars at worst and wild exagerarating one uppers at norm. Then there are the unfortunate 3rd group... the punching bags. Ppl they have kept on their hook the longest and hand picked bc they saw a "weakness" to eploite! They ignore this group, but throw them a scrap here and there to keep them. Then they use this group as the comparison, put them down pu lily to make themselves look better..but very slyly..hurtful as he'll to the person who is being used. As the but of the joke for the night, but still usually manage to keep them by when they are alone going on and on a out how that person is their best friend in the whole world only one who truly knows them, couldn't live without their friendship etc...Truly sickly venomous! It is their identity..without continuing this elaborate charade..they have no true self image. It's disgusting,infuriating, and actually rather sad.

To reply to the actually busy debate above...yes as we grow older we often have less time for others who are not involved in the rat race of the here and now...but, from what the OP is describing I believe to be the final straw,of many similar poor treatment by their friend...and if this friend is one of the types I described, then yes they are certainly very busy..but if you were in their 1st group or anyone they are intimatdated by and or trying to impress...then they would find time..heck they would create time to caught more fan fish!! So, I understand how you feel slighted..cuz if you wee to look at all their thousands of social media pics they seem to have no problem "finding time to keep up a ridonkuloys fan base, but got no time for you??!! ...Just Walk away. Block them, don't answer their calls..never look back..cuz their are plenty of awesome ppl in this world and you don't need a hi g school drama queen frienemy!

Thank you for your posts Lost_in_the_woods. I'm not sure what category I fit into with my (former) friend. The dynamic of our friendship was that she was/is the overbearing, controlling personality whereas I'm more go-with-the-flow and her doormat. Were we besties? No. But we were good friends. Or so I thought.

Then just yesterday she changed her Facebook online chat status to "off" so despite the fact that she's still Facebook friends with me, I now can't see when she's online anymore. Very telling. Either she found this forum and my post and knows I wrote it about her, or she somehow realized after our brief messaging exchange on Facebook, that I saw through her "too busy to call you ever" story and decided to turn off her Facebook chat. Pfft. I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop -- for her to just delete me from Facebook (I'm waiting to see what she does).

And then ironically, my cousin whom I mentioned in this thread did the same thing as my (former) friend with his Facebook chat (turned it off, so he can't be seen when he's online). Like, just rip off the band-aid already and end this friendship that has ceased to exist except for the occasional Facebook conversation until recently.

I started this thread because "busy" is a real pet peeve of mine, and it plays into the passive, codependent part of my personality that I've been trying to change to be more assertive with better interpersonal boundaries (saying "no," speaking up for myself, deserving to have my emotional needs met too, not just the other person).

If I can prioritize my time to show people I care about respect, then why can't other people do the same for me? Esp. people who claim to be my friend?

No one is busy in this world. It's all about priorities. When you prioritize something, you make time for it.

The two people in my family who are always 'busy', late, and so on - both of them have OCD and anxiety disorders. I feel for that; I know what that's like. But what bothers me is that neither of these people do what it takes to at least TRY to deal with their mental illnesses. They refuse to see doctors, refuse therapy, refuse medication - or if they do occasionally go for treatment, don't follow through...bottom line being, consideration for others' time is simply NOT a priority.

Lost in the Woods - 'high school drama queen' is definitely a good description of the 'too busy' people.

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Wow, how rude! This person doesn't sound like a real friend at all! Actions speak louder than words! No one is so busy that they'd go 6 weeks before having the time to return a call! And the fact that she was so cold in her response in an email instead is very telling!

It sounds to me that she might be pulling the "slow fade". Some people do that when they're no longer interested in being friends with someone for whatever reason. Has she always been like that? I would've deleted her from FB a long time ago!

Ignore her and move on. Make better friends and focus on the people who are more considerate and respectful of your feelings. I've had my share of bad friends too. I put up with a lot of crap that I never should've tolerated in the past. One "friend" will often go for two weeks or more before emailing me.

The funny thing is that she'll use the "busy" excuse" too. Recently she kept on saying oh, let's get drinks sometime, but then she never follows through. Well, I read a review of hers on this social site, and guess what? She DID go out for drinks with another friend recently. Obviously she isn't as busy as she says she is. Ugh!

I'm seriously thinking about just ignoring her and blowing her off for good now. I think that it's beyond ridiculous that I went for 9 months w/o seeing her. She lives only half an hour away and she doesn't have any kids. I cut her some slack since she had to work a second job up until recently.

Enough is enough though. She has time for other people, but not me. I know that people do get busy at times, but 9 months? And she's always trying to make plans that never happen which makes me think that she's stringing me along since she can sense me slipping away, idk for sure.

Life is to short to deal with rude people who drive you crazy! Just dump them and try to find better friends!

Oh, I do have other friends who are usually pretty busy too, but they make more time for me than she ever has! It's really a lame excuse used to "politely" blow someone off when it's used to often IMHO.

I suspect that this "friend" of mine is just looking for someone to email when she's bored at work or when she needs someone to "listen" to her problems. Ugh! If things don't change soon, I might either tell her how I feel or just stop contacting her for good. It seems like I'm only her "friend" when she needs someone to listen to her vent.

To me, that's not a real friendship at all. I have ended a friendship with a woman who I thought was my best friend after not seeing her for months. If that wasn't bad enough, she blew me off at the last minute 3 times in a row with the exact same excuse about having her period each time! No one gets their period that often! I had it with her b.s, so I told her how I felt and moved on.

People who truly care about you don't consistently hurt and ignore you all the time for no good reason IMHO!

Exactly. Her actions (not returning my call) speak louder than her words (her 2 paragraph email response 6 weeks letter that detailed in 2 paragraphs everything that keeps her busy). That she wouldn't set aside 5 to 10 minutes to return my call 6 weeks ago, shows me that my friendship isn't a priority in her life.

Then there's my cousin. He gets tagged in Facebook photos of all the things he's doing on the weekends which pop up in my newsfeed, and just sting slightly because of his excuse that he's too busy to get together. Then once I gently pointed out his "busy" excuse to him, writing that we can just stay in touch via Facebook despite the fact that we live 15 minutes away from each other, he turned off his Facebook chat. Why should he and my (former) friend be offended that I called them both out on blowing me off. How dumb do they think I am?

I'm in my late 40s so it gets harder to make close friends at my age. It's not impossible, but it's a rarity. But ignoring either of them isn't hard, when they make zero effort to stay in touch.

Your friend sounds like a total jerk to me. She's clearly making other people a priority to hang out with, but not you, based on what you've written. Sorry to hear that. Once, I invited a friend to see a play with me. She was late (!) and acted like she was sitting next to a complete stranger throughout the play.

Then afterwards, she asked me what I was doing. I looked at her funny, and told her I was going to go home. Then she suggested we go out for a bite to eat since she had 2 hours before her next social-hang out with a different friend. I declined and went home miffed. Then she shockingly called me to make plans and the DAY OF our plans, she cancelled and she actually said to me on the phone, "I got a better invite to hang out with so-and-so, so I need to cancel." WTF! I told her that I thought she was a real jerk for canceling like that, and she laughed and said, "well no one cares what you think do they" and then she hung up. Shortly after that, I faded out of our mutual social circle of friends and stopped socializing with that group of people altogether. This friend was in her late 30s at the time, acting like she was in high school.


Yes, it sounds like this friend of yours uses you as her back-up plan, her time-filler with no intention of any real follow-through. I'd drop her like a hot potato. But that's just me. It's not real friendship. The fact that the other woman - a good friend of yours too - blew you off at the last minute 3 times in a row (exactly what happened to me with the other friend I just mentioned), it was the right thing for you to drop her friendship.

I agree with you that people who truly care about you don't consistently hurt and ignore you all the time for no good reason. And finding those people who actually like and care about us, is the hard part in life. Good friends -- really good friends -- are hard to find, and hard to hold on to.

Living in rural farm country where most of us women even at the age of 60+, are single & own our own farm with all the animals (horses, cows, chickens)......we are ALL busy & we all don't have time to just chat on the phone with each other. We get together at least once a month & someone's house for a pot luck lunch & we do plan activities.

However I am involved with many different groups & we are ALL friends but we are all very busy with the demands that life has & we all understand each other because we all have common lives. I was sort of the go to person to get out emails to let everyone know what is going on until the company that provides my email server upgraded it & broke it so it doesn't work on my computer so I have extra work to set up a new email system that does work on my computer.....more work that I need time to focus on & since I'm the techie of the group (was a computer design engineer for 15 years), I'm usually the one that gets to do the techie stuff in all of my groups that I am involved with.

I am involved in several different horse groups & different volunteer groups & I am involved with my church & I have another wonderful group of friends from a previous Bible study group that we do take the time to chat because we live several towns apart.

My daughter will only text because she hates talking on the phone so my communication with her is totally via texting & I don't mind. I would rather communicate in the way that she prefers than to demand that she call & talk to me & then NEVER communicate with her.

I have found that flexibility is the only way that I can survive & get the things done that I need to get done. I wouldn't appreciate people calling me all the time just to talk because I really don't have the time to just chat except on rare occassions.

I work hard keeping my farm going & when I come in at night, I'm exhausted & I do good to make myself dinner, shower & fall into bed. The thing is that we are ALL in the same situation & with most of us not being married & not having money to hire work to be done, it usually falls all on us & it's a load of work that we all enjoy, but it is work that doesn't leave us a lot of time for socializing though we do find time to do a trail ride during the week for a couple of hours. We don't do our socializing on the phone. We usually call to arrange whatever it is we are planning on doing & then socialize while doing it.

I was on FB message with someone I knew from online & I was surprised at how much time I spend just chatting & it wasted time that I honestly didn't have that I needed to be spending working on my house. I can understand why people make themselves invisible when they are online. They have a right to set boundaries & only communicate when they truly have the time to do it. I hate sitting there communicating with someone while my brain is thinking of how many other things I really need to be doing that actually have a much higher priority in my life....& it's hard to break away from some people when they have nothing better to be doing & they have no reason to stop chatting & they won't even listen to you when you say you need to go. That is rude on their part also because they have no consideration for anyone else then themselves & their own life.

eskielover,

Your post reminded me of the email my (former) friend sent me; where she listed off all the activities that keep her busy -- too busy to make a quick return phone call to me in a reasonable time.

All those activities and social groups you list still doesn't address the point of why using the term "busy" is a poor way to distance yourself from someone, because it essentially is a way to ostracize the person from your life without actually telling the person that you don't like them anymore.

And your last paragraph of your post, you describe how its rude for someone to waste your time by calling you; you write about how people who are chatty seem to have nothing better to do than talk on the phone. That is your preference but again has nothing to do with my situation.

To me, "busy" is a word people use to distance themselves from a person they no longer prioritize in their life's activities. Repeating myself, there is no reason not to return someone's call, or reply to a text message or email within a reasonable amount of time unless you really don't want to reply to that person because they are not a priority anymore. Your post didn't really address that issue, which is what my thread is about.

Yes, it may very well be a way to distance themselves but to say there is "no reason not to return someone's call . . . within a reasonable amount of time" assumes you know everything going on in that person's life. It may be absolutely true that you are not a priority in that person's life right now, but what you don't know for any certainty is what might actually be a priority in their life that has taken precedence over making that phone call. Yes, it may be nothing but avoiding you, it may just be laziness, but on the other hand, there just might be a reason that you just don't know about and that they aren't ready or willing to share with you or perhaps anyone at this time. Sometimes people just outgrow certain relationships, change their focus, etc. and don't know how to diplomatically communicate that, so "busy" is their poor way of communicating that they have moved on. Not fair. Not right. But it is what it is.

What some of us are saying is that rather than assume they are simply being rude, perhaps consider that there might be something going on with them. It doesn't mean you have to continue to try to interact with them. It doesn't mean you have to remain friends with them. It doesn't mean you have to like it or condone it. You can proceed however you wish. But to not take any consideration that, like it or not, they have their reasons for not communicating with you, leaves out the factor that, like you, they are individuals living their own life, with their own struggles and challenges. It isn't good form, but sometimes it is about more than just finding the time.

If you are having trouble with particular people not reciprocating in a relationship despite your best efforts, then you do what you need to do to move on and seek out better relationships. Hope it works out better for you in the future.

Here's the thing. I've said this repeatedly yet you and a couple of others either imply that my expectations are too high, or that I'm over-reactive. Not helpful. Not relevant to the conversation. And it's kinda mean.

What she did to me was rude. When you create expectations and then don't follow through, that means that you're okay with disappointing the other person, because they're just not that important to you. My (former) friend's level of busy-ness didn't increase, it just changed locations.

The point of my thread was to start a discussion about whether its right or wrong to use the word "busy" with how people prioritize their friendships, based on what has happened to me. There seems to be your side, who tells me to lighten up and the other side (that I'm on), which is that not respecting the other person's feelings in the context of using "busy," as the reason, is not the right way to handle a waning friendship, as seems to be the case here for me. I would never leave a friend hanging, and haven't. It's just not something I do. I don't need to hide behind the "Busy" excuse like a lot of people. That's not me.

Have I been told " I'm busy" sure of course been there done that and bought lots of tshirts. It sucks it's hurtful . But I have learned that this happens over a lifetime.

People run there lives as they want, apparently as previous mentioned this person doesn't value the friendship as much as you do. That is life , you can't control other peoples priorities, trying to figure out why people do what they do is a waste of time and is often pointless.

If 2 people have been thick as thieves best friends for decades and someone doesn't get back to you in a "reasonable "amount of time. I would follow up and hope to get some answers .

Life doesn't always wrap up every relationship that trails off with a cute red bow and closure is complete.

As for Facebook and even here on PC, there are times that I am just pretty "non verbal " as my friends and I describe it, I just don't want to have a discussion or a chat, I often roam roam around Facebook posting pics or memes or lurk on here, or get lost on tumblr for hours! I'm not being rude I'm taking care of myself, self care is important to me.

If a friend sent me a text or Facebook message ( I seriously haven't emailed anyone in years , in fact I might only check my email a couple times a month) and was in trouble I would respond as soon as I could, but if it wasn't important I will respond when I can or want too and my friends " get that"

I don't know your age , obviously you email people maybe your friend just doesn't like to email. I loathe it . The few people that have emailed me , I often respond with a I'm tied up with stuff and can't really respond right now ..... I do this with my aunt a lot ... Why ? Because she sends long emails that requires me to sit and respond to her whole email and sometimes I am just not in the mood to do it at all . Am I a horrible person ? No ! I am a person that isn't going to respond to every one all the time as soon as they email ( ick) text or message.


In your situation ??? Sure if you want to call it rude for someone to say there busy that's fine , it fits in your mind as such, nothing wrong or right about it .

I have for instance met people here on PC And we will PM back and forth for days or weeks maybe a month and then s/he or I just kinda let it go... There is nothing wrong with that in my opinion. Some people I have to actively refuse to respond because they are what I consider emotional vampires always wanting or needing something. That stresses me out big time and it's not healthy for me so I have boundaries.

Lots of responses given to you is based off that persons feeling about this type of situation.

Life is full of good and bad and I learned long ago to pick my battles and where to focus my energy on.

Take care

Yes, people do run their lives as they want. But it's a matter of respect for the other person that is my issue.

You write that your friends 'get' that you won't respond to their Facebook posts right away unless it was an emergency. What that implies is that your friends know your limits and thus respect your limits. That's my point. My (former) friend in the 8 years of our friendship knows what my limits are with communication and this includes social media and the telephone.

Ok, you're like the third poster to dismiss my belief that using "busy" instead of just telling the truth is rude, when you say "there's nothing wrong or right about it." For you it's no big deal. That's your limit. For me it is a big deal. "I'm too busy" is just an excuse to avoid spending time with that person.

I'm in my late 40s but age has nothing to do with making a choice and prioritizing relationships. Neither does the duration of the friendship -- you either choose to respect that friend's limits/boundaries/expectations, or you don't.

And this isn't a 'pick your battle' kind of scenario. As I wrote, with any relationship you set your expectations up so the other person knows your boundaries, or your limits with what you consider respectful or disrespectful behavior.

For me, it's not ok to wait nearly 2 months to respond to my phone call with an email. That is where I draw the line, because it goes past my limits (what I will tolerate) because I think that it's rude. Maybe some people think my expectations or limits are too rigid but I think those are different for everyone. Since I would never wait 2 months to respond to someone who reached out to contact me, I expect the same treatment from others. And while I am willing to give friends a break with many things, this isn't one of them.

There is no such thing as 'too busy.' It's about priorities.

I pulled out several of the things you said just to point out something. You repeatedly say that in a relationship you respect the other person's limits. I think what some of us are saying here is "Are you respecting that the other person may have their own limits?" They may not match up with your limits, but can you see how they may also have limits that perhaps you are not respecting? Or is it only your way and their needs have no bearing in your relationships?

It's just something to think about. I don't say it to be mean (as you keep accusing me of), but so that perhaps you can gain some insight that your expectations and other people's expectations may not match up. You may not agree with their expectations, but perhaps they have needs and expectations you are not honoring or respecting either. As I said before, their "too busy" may not be about time at all, but it is the only reason they are willing to give. So yes, it may not be a truthful answer, but perhaps they need to allowed that space without judgment about needing that space and they just don't know a better way to communicate it.

When I've had people in my life who didn't respond to a text or email, rather than get perturbed that they haven't responded, I might communicate back something like "I hadn't heard back from you. I hope everything is going okay. I've been thinking about you. Let me know if you'd like to meet up" (or something along that line). And I leave it at that. They'll reply if they've just forgotten along the way (it happens and often that is all that it is -- they just got sidetracked and are thankful that I reminded them). Or, they won't because they really aren't wanting to socialize at the moment for whatever reason. I could choose to get angry and say I'm not their priority, but it is okay if I'm not their priority right at that moment. Sometimes things are going on in a person's life that do need to be their priority, and I'm not always it -- that's okay. I might be down the road when life calms down (which is why I simply send a polite communication to inquire).

It just seems contradictory to say expectations "are different for everyone" yet you "expect the same treatment from others" and you won't cut them a break on this one thing. What if they need a break because this is different for them than it is for you? Just something to think about.

I feel as if this thread is a case of "I am right and people who disagree are wrong".

You asked for opinions and you got them and yet you are arguing that opinions that disagree with yours are wrong.

I wish you would try to understand that a discussion on a forum is full of differing points of view.

I'm bowing out of this one.

Good luck!

I did ask for opinions and I agree with some and disagree with yours and lolagrace. That's all. Why would I post if I just wanted to be 'right' and disagree with everyone? That's not why I started this thread.

My experience with the whole "busy" excuse is that the ex-friends who used that with me, used it as a manipulation tactic: the silent treatment, if you will. So, "busy" will always have a negative connation for me.

"I'm busy but I'll call you back in 5 minutes, 3 days, or a week" with actual follow-through, is much different than "I'm too busy to you call [no matter what alternatives you suggest I will reject them all with another 'busy' reason] is what my (former) friend has done. So, I gave her alternatives via our online chat. Her 'busy' excuse is tied to her job and her personal life. Um, we all have jobs and personal lives. So, that's why it doesn't fly with me and I have no tolerance for the 'busy' excuse in that case. Her work and her personal life crazy schedule will not change. It's always the same for as long as I've known her.

It's clear that we won't agree on the context of when the word "busy" is used.

And I don't think it's fair to suggest that I lower my limits/expectations to meet my friend's based on her behavior. Because that's suggesting I put up with her "busy" excuse, which will teach her that she can ignore my calls for months at a time and then email me with a flimsy excuse, with no regards to my feelings whatsoever. That doesn't work for me.

I can't be friends with people who don't reciprocate. That's not friendship.

Isn't it possible that she tried to find time to call you for six weeks, and finally realized she couldn't for whatever reason and sent you an email instead?

To answer your question, I’ll repeat what I said in my first post. We all have 24 hours in a day to fill and we choose how to fill those hours, which means prioritizing what’s important. So, it’s about choice. She could have messaged me on Facebook (which she’s on a LOT), or set aside 10 minutes to give me a quick phone call to say she’s super busy but wanted to call me back to let me know she’s thinking of me.

Everyone has ten minutes to spare in their day. Name me someone who doesn’t.

The only reason it would take someone 6 weeks to return a friend’s phone call, is if they worked in the Peace Corps in a region where there is no cellphone tower or LAN line phone service.

Or, if they were trapped underneath a heavy object, or stranded inside a sink hole having left their cellphone on top of their dresser when they went out to get the mail, but a sink hole formed and swallowed them up.

Or, they live on a submarine and forgot to send that friend an email that they would be 20,000 leagues under the sea for 6 weeks and not to expect a return phone call. With the exception of astronauts, who can call anyone they want at any time from outer space.

I did Not dismiss your feelings not at all , you can go re read that part of my response .

You seem to only want advice that you are right and we must all agree, that is not how posting a thread works .

If you just want to vent (and that's fine )and do not want advice then post " I do not want advice that doesn't agree with me"

Being snotty to people that just offer advice that isn't what you want to hear is Rude.... And certainly not the least bit gracious.

Maybe you were rude to her..., I dunno.

I'm also Bowing out of this, also.

Good luck

You've been rather confrontational and rude with anyone on this thread who has tried to offer you a differing opinion on people saying they're busy.

As to the one individual you've mentioned - six weeks is crap and yeah I would agree that her excise and treatment of you isn't acceptable.

You're also correct that we do all have priorities. But they aren't all based on someone's preference. For example, I have to use time to care for my pets, clean the house, prepare work, shower, sleep, etc. Those are all things I have to put as a priority even when I don't want to. If someone asks me how things are and I reply "busy" then yes, I am in fact busy and am not making up an excuse. There's also a good chance that I may or may not have totally forgotten by the time I am no longer busy.

I value my friends and the time I spend with them. I also respect that they have lives beyond me and that our schedules may simply not match up for a long time. It doesn't mean they don't value me, or my time. They just have other things, which can include hobbies and other friends. Will those always come before me? No, but they can and often do because people change their priorities around.

If someone constantly and consistently didn't show any respect for my time, being significantly late regularly or cancelling last minute for no reason, then I consider that rude. If it's a long standing consistent thing the yes, I will know I am not a significant person in their life and will distance myself.

But if someone just says that they're busy a lot of the time? That's not a problem for me. I say that I am busy a lot, because I am. Sometimes my busy is me just being drained from work and life due to depression or anxiety. But I might not want to share that because I might not have the energy to. I might only have the energy to chat with 1 person at a time on fb - and is probably a first come first serve kinda thing. Depending on the level of trust o have I might say more as to why I'm busy - for example, Christina is a good online friend of mine. We can go weeks without chatting even though we're both clearly online. It happens, and we've never been mad - we just know that it usually means we are out of energy due to something or another.

And honestly? If someone was to get mad at me for being busy, I'd be fine cutting them out.

But in the case of the friend you've mentioned in your first post? Yeah, her excuse of busy is bulls***.