[riptide53]

As a woman in her 60's I think I'm a pretty good catch- in good shape, personable, financially independent divorced many years and am very picky as to who I date. I've found a man online that I think fits the bill with whom I've been talking to now for about a month. He is also older and divorced but has shared that he is 'bi'. I'm old fashioned- in the past I wouldn't have even thought twice about it, but everything else about him is what I've been searching for, at least, thus far. I'm reaching out for some thoughts you might have about this. Thanks.

What's your specific concern? What bothers you?

I'm bi and have been married (to a man) for 11 years.

[winter loneliness]

I have dated several bi men. The fear for me, is that they will cheat on me, as many men have, and that I have to worry about men and women.

If they weren't cheaters, it would be fine. Also I am not into swinging. These are just a few things that trouble me.

[riptide53]

Thanks for responding. The fear of the 'unknown'- ie what to expect and that he's put himself in unsafe situations sexually. Also not wild about where that'part' of his body has been. I've heard they are likely to cheat.

Being bisexual does not automatically make you promiscuous as well. I am bisexual and have never cheated in my life. If this man were to ever end up cheating, it would not be from his bisexuality but rather a conscious decision he made.

We cannot choose who we are attracted to, but we can certainly decide who to sleep with! As for where that part of his body has been, if he has been tested recently and has a clean bill of health I would not worry. Before you start seeing this man, it would be a good idea to talk about your expectations regarding monogamy. Some people are naturally polygamists and that is absolutely fine, but it's good to know that you're on the same page.

Totally agree with scaredandconfused.

Also do you know for a fact he's put himself into unsafe situations sexually? Or is this an assumption too? Men can have safe sex with other men. Women can carry STI's. Everyone is capable of getting tested before committing. Bisexual doesn't mean stupid.

As for where his bits have been. Many men have had their bits in butt regardless of sexual orientation. I can honestly say I have never been with a partner and pondered this. As long as you're clean, your sexual history is none of my business.

Finally do you know how many straight married men (and women) are out there cheating right now? This is not a bisexual thing at all.

Oh and to the earlier post about swinging. I am very laid back and would have an open relationship. My husband does not feel the same, so we don't. Just because I'm very open minded, that doesn't mean I HAVE to have an open relationship.

We are human and we get to make choices too.