Society Only Values A Woman If She Has Children

I myself never wanted children
and it certainly wasn't selfish either. I was beaten, abandoned, starved, alienated from myStep Mother. Guess how old I was? 8-12. I had to dig in garbage cans for food. My childhood was straight out of the pages of the Charles Dickens classic Oliver Twist.
Those kinds of experiences go a long way to warp a kid. It's great that woman want to become Mothers , but I have just as much value as a woman too.
I read alot, and I've come across articles that read women who are childless are that way due to selfish reasons. Wow! whoever authored that article needed to learn about women more.
See, I grew up were not one person cared how I felt. I'm not kidding. I didn't even have the simple pleasure of someone fixing me something that I liked.
And these are issues that stay with a woman.
I just want society NOT to be so harsh on it's judgement of women.
I certainly am not the stereotypical woman.
I never married and good grief there isn't anyone I really like what with how people use you. No one seems to grasp the meaning of love. True love.
It's all about lust & gaining notches on a bed post. I'm not kidding.
So my life didn't take any normal progression, in fact my life was very much like a car driving down a road then all of a sudden it veers off a CLIFF.
I try to repair the car as best I can, then put the car drive back on the road? Only to have it happen again, and again.
SO, maybe I'll be able to keep the car on the road for a smoother journey. Because so far it's been anything but.

CalamityJane, I think that's been somewhat true in the past, but I think more and more people are opting out of being parents, now that birth control is really good.

I know several adults without kids and they seem happy and fulfilled. Having children is just one path. There are many roads to happiness.

I can think of several non-selfish reasons not to have kids. Can anyone give me one for having kids?

And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting kids. It's a natural thing for a lot people, and you're allowed to want to fill that desire. But don't say that women who simply don't have that desire - or women who DO, but choose not to have kids for any reason at all - are selfish.

I sometimes think it would've been kinder for me to not have had kids since I got sick with bipolar disorder. I didn't know I had it back then, but sometimes I think they deserve a better mother. I had fertility problems and maybe it was a sign?

I don't think it's selfish at all to not have kids.

I don't want to be a mother. I think it would be a bad thing if I was a mother. I get really angry too easily and I have a feeling if the child survived past the first 5 years he/she would be really scarred and unhappy. I didn't have your hard childhood, but I was pretty neglected and felt unwanted. No, I don't think it's selfish to not want children, but I've felt the same way from society at times that it's terrible that I don't want children. In my case, it's definitely a good thing I don't want kids.

I also agree that this is more how it was in the past. IMO it seems to be going more the other way since women are pushing so much to run their own lives and have their own careers. I don't personally know a single person who is looked down on for opting not to have kids. I also don't personally know anyone who would look down on someone else for it. I have however run into people who judged me for not pursuing a career and choosing to raise a family instead. Either one of these choices is fine and no one should feel judged for deciding what path is best for them.

I don't have kids by choice. Yeah, some people will judge, but in the end are they going to raise my hypothetical children and pay for them? Some people who have children and regret it seem to want to see others in the same situation and will pressure you to have them too.

In the end you have to do what works best for you and try not to pay attention to people that criticize. Plus, it seems that no matter what women do as far as child bearing someone will give you a hard time. I have a friend with one child and people have criticized her for not giving her daughter a sibling. Her daughter is now a young woman and very well-adjusted. Being an only child didn't seem to have any negative impact. Then, if you have more than two, people may find fault with that.

I’ve had children and don’t feel particularly valued by society because of it. People say crap to you no matter what you do. Everyone’s a critic.

You have survived abuse and it’s completely understand you have issues and didn’t do the life choices you might have otherwise done.

My best friend growing up said she never wanted to have children because she was too selfish, and she never did have them. She is very fulfilled with her causes, calls herself a mom to rescue animals.

I am glad I don't have children. I can not imagine bringing children into this world when I have no family support and also no means to do so. I am happy to have been blessed without children because my life has been one of many battles and has left me with many scars. No child should suffer such pain as I have. I feel in some cultures that women are still thought of as mothers and caretakers, especially in Asia. But, I don't feel like I am missing anything from life by being childless. I believe I did the right thing.

Now a days I have absolutely no idea what a “stereotypical woman” is. I think it depends on the generation of women you’re talking about & reading about.

I also think we’re all forgetting a “tiny” lol part here! The male.
Or are we just speaking about single females who choose to not start a family on their own. Are they selfish?

I’d also wanto know who “sponsored” the article too.

I realize because of my sister sometimes that the world is stuck in the old world. Society needs to get with the times and release women from men's standards about them. Men ruled the world for the longest time and now women just want to be equal. Nothing else.

I didn't even want babies until I found Pinterest and looked up a quote about women and their bodies being the harbors of another life. It was so beautiful that I was inspired by it. I even started checking out women's bodies on that site and really felt like I was such a lesbian for it. Not that I was making fun of lesbians or thinking anything negative about them. lol.

I am friends with a lot of wonderful ladies who never want children.

I agree that people can judge but I also agree it is becoming more common.

I think it is SO WRONG to judge someone for a decision as personal as that. It is up to you! It's also offensive if that is seen as the biggest value a woman can bring. Also lets not pretend like people have kids for selfish reasons too.

It’s maybe just a point of view. I never felt valued for being a mother. If anything I was a wicked single mother and a terrible one at that...according to my daughter. She’s mentally ill and abuses alcohol and other drugs. So I have to take what she says with a grain of salt. I think times are changing a many rational people don’t think that a woman’s sole value consists of birthing babies.

I too chose not to marry or become a parent. Can't tell you the amount of times I have been asked sad faced by people 'So don't you regret not having children?...My response is always 'No, don't you regret having them?...That shuts them up quick smart.